Always Fighting from the Heart
by pange
Summary: After a disastrous relationship in the past, college student Bella has vowed never to date a soldier again. All of that changes after meeting handsome Edward. Just as their relationship turns serious, life and circumstances threaten to pull them apart.
1. Prologue

**** Stephanie Myers owns Twilight. Sadly, I cannot lay claim to these characters. Nor do I own the Army, although I do love my Army man.**

**Special thanks to herinfiniteeyes, who kindly agreed to beta for me. She rocks. And she's an incredible writer. ****

Prologue

Bella could not remember a time when she had felt so cold. She wore her winter parka, gloves, and a scarf to protect her from the frigid January wind that whipped her hair into a frenzy around her face. However the cold that she was feeling ran so much deeper than a glacial winter morning. It started deep inside, in the pit of her stomach, and iced her veins until it was an effort just to move her arms and legs.

Her warmth was leaving. And he was taking the light and the heat and her heart with him. She hoped he would come back, safe, whole, undamaged, but she wasn't sure if that was entirely possible. He stood before her, straight and tall, handsome in the khaki and green uniform, with his field cap shadowing his eyes. There was sadness there, but worse, there was excitement. She swallowed hard and tried to assure herself again that it was normal for him to be excited to leave.

She watched as he hugged his sister, Alice. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear which was not meant for Bella. Bella looked down and away swiftly as Alice's face crumpled at the words.

She didn't look up again until she saw the toes of his desert boots in front of her. She leaned into his warmth without realizing what she was doing. As it usually did when she was near him, the world outside of their little bubble faded into the background. It took with it the sound of Alice's quiet sobs and the anxious chatter of the others standing a small distance away until there was only his warmth, his smell, and the blue-green expanse of his eyes.

The wind stilled momentarily and he reached up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. Finally closing the distance between them, his lips ghosted lightly over her forehead, down over her closed eyelids and across the tip of her nose until they reached her mouth where they pressed firmly against her. The ice inside her began to melt as her body flooded with need and sorrow and fear. She threw her arms around him and dug her fingers into his shoulders, holding on for dear life.

He leaned back, but kissed her again and then once more.

"Bella," he sighed, running his hands through the ends of her hair and down her back. She hiccupped on a small sob and clung to him. Behind them the call went out to form up.

She clung to him still, trying not to beg him to stay, not to leave her, or even to take her with him. "Just come back," she whispered. "Please, please come back to me."

He leaned down to her again. "Nothing could keep me away. I love you. Remember that."

He looked over her shoulder to Alice, who stepped up to them and wrapped her arm around Bella's waist. He stepped away, running his hands up Bella's arms until he could grasp her wrists, pulling them gently away from his neck. He pressed kisses into her palms before turning and running back into the hangar.

Bella could only watch him go. She didn't realize she was crying until she felt Alice reach up and gently wipe away the tears that had slid silently down her cheeks. She followed Alice to the car, quietly. She waited for her to get in and start the engine. Warm air blasted suddenly through the vents and Bella felt herself crumple inside.

"Edward," she whispered, and then began to sob.

**A/N So it starts. This is my first attempt at a fanfic, so please be honest, but gentle. =)**


	2. Chapter 1

**** We all know that I don't own Twilight or Edward. That privilege belongs solely to Ms. Meyers. I did, however, enlist Edward in the Army.**

**Thanks again to herinfiniteeyes for her excellent beta skillz. ****

Chapter 1

_Six months earlier_

Bella was having a bad night.

She had clocked in late and endured a scolding from her usually very amiable boss, Cindy. There was the lady at table six who had left without paying her bill. Then the kid at table three had vomited on her shoes. She was very grateful that she had opted for the closed-toe sandals while getting dressed that afternoon. On top of all of that, a coworker had called in sick, so she was stuck pulling a double the night before the final exam in her Shakespeare class.

She was only an hour away from closing time. By her best estimate, if she went straight home and studied for an hour, she could still get a few hours of sleep before she had to be up for class. At the moment, there weren't even any customers in the place, so maybe Cindy would let her leave a little early.

The bell jingled above the door, signaling the arrival of customers. Trying not to roll her eyes, Bella turned with her "work" smile plastered on her face to greet the newcomers. Boisterous laughter rolled in with the slight scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke. Several men stumbled through the door and Bella felt like banging her head on the counter.

_Figures. Soldiers._ She groaned internally. _God help them if they think they're going to stiff me on the bill or tip like usual._

"Hello gentlemen," she greeted them cordially. "As you can see, you have your choice of seating."

The soldier in front dipped his head to her and grinned as the others followed him to the back corner booth. Bella followed slightly behind, slapping menus down on the table as they jockeyed for seats around the booth.

"My name is Bella. I'll be your server tonight. Our special was the salmon lemonata, but we're out of salmon. And, of course, we serve breakfast for the next hour until closing." She ran through her spiel automatically, mentally shifting her study and sleep schedule around in order to accommodate for not being able to leave early.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…beautiful, beautiful, beautiful…" The guy closest to the edge of the booth grinned goofily up at her. He was good-looking in a wholesome, All-American way with buzz cut blond hair and clear blue eyes. Unfortunately he also thought he was good-looking and was attempting to wink at her, but the alcohol in his system was making him close both eyes at the same time, essentially just making him look sleepy. Bella mentally nicknamed him Comet, after the golden retriever on the show "Full House." That had been her favorite television show as a kid and she thought he kind of had a retriever look about him.

A tall, burly, dark haired guy sitting across the table, who also appeared quite intoxicated, began to poke fun at Comet. Bella had to bite the inside of her cheek to prevent a giggle from escaping. If they had to interrupt her plans to go home early, it looked like this table would at least be entertaining. The man who had nodded to her at the door, the one she thought of as the polite one, looked like the least drunk of them all as he grinned up at Bella.

"We have one more person joining us," he informed her quietly. She nodded at him.

"I'll just let you all look over the menu while you're waiting for your friend. I'll be right back for your drink orders." Smiling again, she turned away from the table, back toward the counter at the entrance.

The café she worked in was a second home for her. She was as comfortable walking through the L-shaped building as she was walking through her own apartment. She didn't think anything about the bell on the door jingling to announce another customer. Nor did she have an explanation for her sudden bout of clumsiness when she turned the corner and tripped over her own feet. Her order pad and pen flew across the counter and her arms windmilled as she tried desperately to regain her balance before plowing into the new customer. Giving in, she closed her eyes and waited for the hard impact on the tile floor.

It never came. Instead, strong arms wrapped around her and she was pulled into a firm, warm body. Cheeks blazing, she opened her eyes to find herself facing a well-defined bicep, encased in short sleeves with just a hint of tattoo ink peeking out from under the sleeve. She attempted to pull her dignity up around her and straightened up, finally looking up to face her rescuer. She gaped at him, taken aback by the gorgeous man staring down at her.

"Thanks," she mumbled and hurried away, leaving him to join his friends in the back of the building. Cindy came rushing out from the kitchen.

"Bella! Are you okay? I thought you were going to bite it there until Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome caught you!" Cindy joked. Bella rolled her eyes again, beginning to think that by the time she went home, she would be permanently looking up at the sky. She turned to her boss and gave her a pleading smile.

"Cindy, please, please, please take these customers? I really do need to study for my Shakespeare exam." Bella held her breath, hoping that this would go her way for once.

"Sorry, Bella, I can't do that. Saul just got a call to say that his kid was sick, so I've got no one to cook. I also have to get the deposit ready to go to the bank in the morning." Cindy stopped, considering. "Tell you what, go ahead and sit in the dining room where they can get your attention if they need you. That way you can still help them, but you can also study."

Sighing and trying to look grateful, Bella thanked her, gathered up her order pad from the far side of the counter, her pen from the floor, and headed back to the dining room to face her embarrassment.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward watched her from across the room while his friends laughed and talked around him. She had come back and taken their drink and food orders earlier. It frustrated him when she had done so without meeting his eyes. He knew she was embarrassed. You didn't have to be a mind-reader to figure that out when her cheeks were flushed. Even now she sat at a table across the room, engrossed in what looked like a textbook, but her cheeks were flaming red.

_Great, she's a student. Probably 18 or 19 and away from home from the first time. I wonder if she's still a virgin._

Nothing about this night had been what he had expected when he left his room earlier. He had not expected to be the designated driver. He had not expected to be sitting at a café at 2 a.m. when he had PT at 7 a.m., and he had definitely not expected to walk through the door of the café and find his arms full of soft, sweet-smelling woman. He wasn't sure how she had ended up catapulting into him, but he liked it. Her hair had tickled his chin and he had to stop himself from burying his nose and just breathing it in.

_God, what am I, a girl? Who thinks things like that anyway?!_

Disgusted with himself, he forced his focus back to his friends, catching on to the end of the conversation.

"I can't wait until my Rosie gets home," Emmett was saying, referring to his wife of three years, Rosalie. It was a well-known fact that he was crazy about her and hated being separated longer than what he thought necessary. She had spent the last week and a half on a business trip to Chicago and Emmett was driving them all insane as his anticipation of her return increased.

"You know wha', McCarty? D' you know wha' you are? You're whipped, dat's wha'," Newton slurred around a mouthful of pancakes. Emmett snorted.

"I don't know, Newton. I think Emmett's onto something," Jasper interjected, playing the peacekeeper as usual. "It's still fairly new, but I miss Alice when I haven't seen her. There's nothing wrong with appreciating one girl instead of playing the field." He winked at Edward.

Edward groaned. He did not need the visual of Jasper "appreciating" his sister Alice. He tossed a French fry across the table. "Just because I let you date her doesn't mean I need to hear about it, Hale," he growled. Jasper only grinned.

Emmett leaned across the table, unwilling to let Newton's comment go unchallenged. "Well, at least that means I don't need to go out sniffing around all the 18-year old college tail around here." They all, except for Newton, burst into loud laughter.

Reflexively, Edward glanced back over at the table where Bella sat, wondering if the laughter at his table disturbed her. He watched as she slammed her textbook closed and slid out of her booth. She reached up and twisted her long, dark hair into a knot on top of her head in a move that Edward recognized as inherently feminine. His heart slammed into his ribs as his eyes traced the graceful curve of her neck and landed on the tattoo just below her hairline. He couldn't make out the lettering from where he sat, but his fingers itched to trace the dark script. Shaking his head to rid himself of the thought, he elbowed Newton to get his attention.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Bella couldn't figure it out. She was fairly certain that the group was made up of soldiers, mainly because of the buzz cuts and "high & tight" hair, all except for the last one, the one who had caught her when she had almost fallen. His hair was short, barely touching the collar of his shirt in the back, but that was long considering how many soldiers wore it. She had noticed that he ran his hands through it constantly, causing the top to stick up in what should have been stupid ways, but she found it immensely attractive.

Physically there was little about him that she didn't find attractive. He was tall and thin, but not skinny. His messy hair was a beautiful bronze color and a strong jaw. She couldn't see his eyes, but she had felt them on her all night as he watched her. This had disrupted her ability to concentrate so much that it had taken her 20 minutes to finish one page of "The Merchant of Venice." She thought he seemed quieter than the rest of his friends and wondered once again if he was a student, not a soldier.

She sat down on the stool behind the counter and dropped her chin into her hand, grateful that Cindy had already done the majority of closing duties. She just needed to wait until the people in the back left, clean up their table and dishes and then she would be free. She thought longingly of her quiet little studio apartment and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

_Eight o'clock is going to come so early tomorrow morning._ She sighed and debated to herself how much more studying she needed to do versus how much sleeping she wanted to be doing. Loud laughter from the back brought her back to the present and she straightened when she realized that the group had left their table and were making their way to the counter to pay.

Comet paid first. His debit card read Michael Newton. He grinned comically at her. "Bye-bye Beautiful Bella!" he slurred. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

The dark haired man was next. The name on his card read Emmett McCarty. Bella printed his receipt and handed it to him to sign. He did with a flourish and winked at her when he handed it back.

The polite one was third. He paid in cash and only smiled slightly when she handed him his receipt and change.

Finally Bella looked up into a pair of beautiful green eyes and her breath caught in her throat. She tried to keep her hand from shaking as she took his credit card. She could feel herself starting to blush under his intense gaze. She jolted at the light touch of his fingers as she handed him his receipt to sign.

"Thank you, Bella." His words were quiet and he smiled softly at her. She could only nod in return, her throat suddenly too dry to speak. He and his friends turned and filed out into the early morning air.

Bella followed and locked the door behind them. She picked up the receipt he had signed and traced her fingertips over his name. "Edward Cullen," she whispered to herself.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Later, after she had closed the café, ridden her bike the two blocks home, and got in another hour of studying, she laid in bed curled around a pillow. She pictured his face again in her mind.

"Edward Cullen," she said again, out loud, listening to the words bounce around her room. "Edward Cullen." She liked his name. It was strong, masculine. It seemed to fit him. She wondered if he would come back in to the café again.

Bella knew it was silly. Rationally she knew that she didn't know Edward and that more than likely she would never see him again. However it was a game that she had played since she was 9 years old on vacation with her dad and had watched a bride walk down an aisle to a waiting groom. She decided for just this once, she would give in to that little girl again. So she closed her eyes, pictured Edward again in her mind and whispered, "Bella Cullen."

**A/N Well, I hope you all like it. I think it's mostly self-explanatory. **

**PT = Physical Training, usually every weekday from 7 am - 8 am.**

**As for Bella's prejudice against soldiers in general, all will be revealed in time. ;-)**


	3. Chapter 2

**** Thank you guys so much for clicking on the alert and the favorite button down there! And many, many thanks for reviewing! Reviews make me squeee like a fangirl! =)**

**Again, thanks to herinfiniteeyes for being a rockin' beta. There's a link to her profile under my favorite authors. You should all go there now and read her stuff. She's incredible.**

**Well, you should go there after you read & review here. ;-) ****

Chapter 2

Edward did come back to the café again. In fact, he came back every night for the next week. Bella had Sunday and Tuesday off, but her friend and coworker, Angela, filled her in when she arrived earlier that day for her Wednesday shift. Bella had blushed furiously and refused to answer any questions about him. She really didn't know him after all. In fact, the only reason she even knew his name was because he always paid with his debit card. Even though she had been there several nights when he showed up, they hadn't conversed with each other. Edward always sat in the corner booth in his baseball cap and leather jacket, where he could see both the register area and the back tables.

Bella cut through the kitchen to head back into the break room. She unwound her apron and stuffed it into her cubbyhole, pulling the elastic band from her hair and running her hands through it. She was trying hard not to be disappointed that Edward hadn't shown today.

_He probably lost interest when I didn't talk to him._

She shook her head, picked up her bag, and grabbed her keys from the ring on the wall. Momentarily letting her frustration get the best of her, she slammed through the backdoor into the alleyway. The heat of the July evening surrounded her and she closed her eyes, letting it soak into her bones. The air conditioner was always running full blast in the restaurant, and even though she was constantly running between the kitchen and the tables in the dining room, she was always cold. She leaned back against the door and let her head fall back, breathing deeply of the night air.

"Thank you, Jesus," she muttered, exhaling. Bella heard a soft chuckle from over her right shoulder and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. It felt like one of those electricity globes at the science museum she had loved as a girl, the ones that always made her hair stand up on end. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Edward leaning up against the corner of the building. He was grinning at her. She pushed herself off the door, stood up straight again, and prayed she could talk to him without making an ass out of herself.

"You're late," she said, cocking an eyebrow at him. He laughed softly again, taking one more drag of his cigarette before flicking it off into the darkness.

"I had to work late. Did you miss me?" He stepped closer to where she stood, just outside the back door of the café.

She looked away nervously, taking another deep breath without answering. He took another step closer. "Well, I don't want to keep you from your dinner." Bella took a nervous step back. _God, why does he make me so nervous?_

"You're not," Edward responded quietly. She found she couldn't look away. His eyes drilled into her, causing little electric currents to race up her spine. Her eyes roamed over him while he stood quietly. He was wearing a blue Yankees baseball cap so she couldn't see his hair, but it looked like he'd gotten a haircut. The ends were shorter and the sides no longer brushed the tops of his ears. He was also clean-shaven, though the skin was already decorated with slight stubble. He stood with his legs somewhat apart and his arms at his sides. He was completely relaxed, letting her study him.

When she finally broke the connection by looking away, Edward took the opportunity to study her. Her shiny brown hair looked freshly brushed and he wanted to tangle his fingers in it. Her lips pouted slightly and there was a slight flush across her cheekbones. Her whole body looked tense, like she was ready to bolt at the slightest wrong move from him. She actually reminded him of a young colt that he had watched his uncle Garrett break one summer when he was a kid.

"I have to go," she whispered, looking back at him. Bella turned to go, swallowing her disappointment that he hadn't spoken to her further.

"Wait. Don't go," he reached for her, capturing her hand and stilling her movement. "Let me buy you dinner. I'm guessing you didn't eat after your shift, right?" Bella looked up at him, incredulous.

"You want to buy me dinner?" Her eyes narrowed slightly. "How do I know that you're not some crazy stalker serial killer who just wants to get me alone so you can kill me?" Edward grinned at her again.

"Well, now, I guess you don't." He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. "But I'm not. And I really would like to have a conversation with you that isn't about if I want bacon or ham with my pancakes."

She laughed before she could stop herself, but shook her head. Just then her stomach betrayed her by growling noisily. He chuckled and she rolled her eyes at him. He dropped her hand and shoved both fists into his jeans pockets.

"You know, it might hurt my feelings if I thought you would rather go hungry than share a meal with me" he said, winking at her. She giggled and then blushed. _I can't believe I just giggled like a 12-year old._

His heart tripped in his chest at the purely feminine sound. _I can't believe she just giggled_, he thought in awe.

"Dinner would be nice," she acquiesced, earning another smile from him. "My favorite Italian place is just a block and a half from here. If that's okay…?" she trailed off, looking up at him from under her lashes.

"That's perfect. I know you've been on your feet, but would you like to walk?"

She nodded and then grinned at him wickedly. "Well, I only have a bike and I'm not getting in a car with you, stalker serial killer." He laughed loudly and followed her around the side of the building to the street.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Later as they were settled into a booth in the back of the restaurant, Bella studied the menu, watching Edward surreptitiously from under her lashes. He was also looking at the menu, but his body was never still. His foot was tapping under the table while the fingers of his left hand were drumming a rhythm on top. She found herself fascinated by the way the tendons in his forearm moved under his skin. Her throat suddenly went dry and she was grateful when the waitress finally arrived with their drinks and to take their orders.

Finally they were alone again and she grinned at him. "So you've asked tons of questions about me, but you haven't told me anything about you." On their walk over, Edward had asked her everything from her major (English literature with a minor in Journalism) to her favorite color (green) and how long she had worked at the café (two years). So far he hadn't left her any chance to ask about him.

"Maybe I prefer being mysterious?" He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Seriously, I will answer your questions, except that you avoided my last one." Bella didn't respond, instead picking up her glass of Diet Coke and taking a long drink. "You know, the one about your family," he prompted, his fingers finally coming to a stop on the tabletop.

_Ah yes, that one. _She sighed and set her glass down. Avoiding his eyes, she debated where to begin. "I don't…" she sighed again. "I don't have a family. I never knew my mom and my dad died when I was 17. I've been on my own since then, no brothers or sisters."

Edward felt himself blanch and wanted to kick himself for pushing the issue. "Bella," he began.

"Don't. Don't you dare feel sorry for me. I've been on my own for 7 years now and I'm okay with it." She smiled, trying desperately to move past the moment. "And now it's my turn. I'm going to start with a hard one…what's your favorite…." She grinned wickedly and Edward swallowed, slightly worried. "…color?" She laughed easily and he smiled.

"Easy…blue. I thought you said it was going to be hard?" He challenged, eyes glinting at her.

Bella narrowed her eyes. "Okay then. Where did you grow up?"

Edward smiled again. "I grew up in Washington State. My parents are still married and they actually just retired and bought a house a couple of hours from here on the coast. I have a sister, Alice, who is three years younger than me. She's just a year younger than you."

"So that makes you 26?" Bella added quickly in her head.

"I thought English majors couldn't do math?" He queried, winking at her. Bella laughed.

"Touché, Cullen." They were interrupted momentarily by the waitress setting their food down in front of them. Edward immediately dug into his manicotti as Bella picked up her fork and started picking through the pasta salad that came with her sandwich. She took a bite and closed her eyes momentarily to enjoy the flavor.

Edward froze where he sat, entranced by the way her mouth curved around her fork and the low moan of enjoyment she made in the back of the throat. Bella opened her eyes to find his eyes on her and blushed.

"What?" she asked softly. Edward shook his head like he was coming out of a trance. "Uh…nothing." His voice came out gravelly and he tried to smile at her. Bella shivered and took another bite.

"So are you a student?" She asked finally. He swallowed and shook his head.

"Well I take a couple of classes now and then. But I'm so busy and my schedule is so crazy that I don't get to take them as often as I'd like."

"What do you do that keeps your schedule crazy?" Bella asked, taking a bite out of her sandwich.

"Sorry, I just realized it's rude to sit here with my hat on." He chuckled, thinking of what his mom, Esme, would make of his manners. He reached up and removed his cap, laying it on the seat beside him and running his hand over his newly shorn hair. He didn't notice Bella sitting frozen in place, her fork halfway to her mouth. "My schedule is crazy because of the unit that I'm with here. It seems like we've always got field exercises going on. Although I think those might slow down…now…that…" His voice trailed off as his eyes met Bella's across the table. She still hadn't moved and the blood had drained from her face.

"What happened to your hair?" She asked in a voice little more than a whisper. Edward ran a hand across his hair again.

"I...I had to get it cut. Because of the regs." He frowned, confused. Bella dropped her fork and it clattered to the plate in front of her, causing several other patrons to turn their way.

"Are you telling me you're in the Army?" She hissed. "And you don't think you could have brought this up earlier?"

His whole body stiffened at her tone and he set his own fork down quietly next to his plate. "Sorry. I wasn't aware that it would be an issue." He wiped his mouth and took a drink from his glass.

"But your hair was so long when you came in to the café last week," Bella continued.

"I had just come back from leave. I hadn't gotten it cut yet. Why is this a big deal, Bella?"

She shook her head, digging through her bag for her change purse. She took out a ten dollar bill and tossed it on the table. "I'm sorry. This was a bad idea. I have to go. I'm sorry." She slid out of the booth and walked quickly away from the table without looking back.

Edward sat in shock. He waved the waitress down and tossed a couple of bills at her to pay for dinner and bolted out of the restaurant. Bella was nowhere to be seen and he jogged the block back to the café where she worked, but she wasn't there either. He leaned against the brick wall of the building and tried to figure out what went wrong.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

**A/N: I'll try to make it quick. True confession time. I don't actually have a specific location for this story. I don't want to name a specific Army post just in case I write something that could compromise security (not likely, but still). Let's just say the story is set somewhere in the south, on the East coast, with elements of other places I have lived mixed in as I please. =)**

**Regs = regulations**

**I think everything else is self-explanatory, but please PM me if you have any questions. =) **


	4. Chapter 3

**** I do not own Twilight or the characters mentioned. They all belong to Stephanie Meyers.**

**Special thanks to herinfiniteeyes for yet another incredible beta job. Sorry I made you sift through all of the "hads" in the first two paragraphs. Lol**

**Thanks for all of the alerts and all of the awesome reviews. They make me squeee like a fangirl. ****

Chapter 3

Sweat poured from Edward's face as he sprinted his last lap around the indoor track at the university's gym. He didn't usually run on Saturday mornings, but he was feeling irritated and restless. It had been over two days since his disastrous dinner with Bella and he still could not figure out what went wrong. He hadn't returned to the café where she worked since then, wanting to give her some space. Part of him hoped that the time away from her would purge her from his mind; that his need for her would diminish. She was obviously complicated. He didn't have time for complicated.

Unfortunately this plan ended up not working and, even though he could have used any gym on the base for free and not driven downtown to campus, he'd decided to come here to run. He told himself that it was because the university's gym was nicer. The air conditioning worked better and the equipment was kept in working order. He knew, though, that the main reason he came was to be that much closer to Bella and because it offered a very slim chance of seeing her or maybe even talking to her.

He finished his run and grabbed a towel, wiping off his face and trying to catch his breath.

_I think I'll go see if there's anyone on the racquetball courts._

Edward grabbed his water bottle and jogged lightly down the stairs, hooking a left at the registration desk to go down the back hallway toward the courts. Both of the courts were dark and he started to turn back to the locker rooms to hit the shower when he heard music drifting from further down the hall. He stopped mid-turn and cocked his head, listening. Curious, he followed it down the corridor. He had never been down here before, even though it was just past the racquetball courts.

He peered into the mirrored room that was leaking the music and was shocked to see Bella, in a blue tank top and grey yoga pants, moving in time with the beat. He flattened himself against the wall so she wouldn't see him, but it wasn't necessary. Her eyes were closed, lost in the rhythm. The music was angry with heavy drums and Bella's steps emulated the beat, choppy and hard. Edward watched, fascinated, unable to move.

Abruptly the music changed; it became softer, dreamy, creating an echoing sadness with its use of guitar and simple vocal line. Bella's movements in turn became soft, flowing, and graceful.

Edward felt a familiar tightening in his stomach. He could see the sadness on her face, reflected back at him in the mirrors. He ached to make it better and was surprised at how much he wanted to shield her from whatever it was that was making her sad.

As the last notes faded from the room, Bella ended her pirouette and sank to the floor, pulling her knees into her chest and resting her forehead on them. She usually loved the after effects of dancing, her limbs still loose and warm, and her breath heavy. Dance was her refuge, her outlet and had been since she started lessons as a child. But sometimes, like today, it broke down too many walls and exposed too much. Tears ran steadily down her cheeks and her heart pounded in her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The sudden silence in the room was stifling and she sat up straight, pushing her hands against her cheeks to wipe away the wetness.

Someone behind her cleared their throat and broke the quiet in the room. Her eyes flew to the mirror and met Edward's gaze. She gasped and the tears that she had pushed back threatened to fall again. As much as she hated it, she felt herself drawn to him again. He looked glorious in his black PT shorts and grey Army t-shirt, sweat running down the sides of his face.

"That was beautiful," he said softly, moving just inside the doorway.

Bella pushed herself up from the floor and grabbed the towel draped over the ballet bar. "What do you want?"

He sighed. _You_, he thought sadly. He waited a moment, wanting to choose his words carefully, and not knowing where to start.

"Bella," he stopped, but took another couple of steps into the room. She dropped her gaze and ran her hands over the ballet bar. "Bella, when are you going to stop punishing me for something that someone else did?"

She gasped again and her eyes flew back to his in the mirror. "How did you know that?" she choked out. He took another step closer.

"I didn't for sure. You reacted pretty strongly to the fact that I was enlisted, too strongly for just believing the regular stereotypes of my profession. Obviously I don't know the details, but I figure that someone who wears the uniform must have hurt you pretty badly," he paused again and watched in distress as tears began to run down her cheeks anew. "I'm just not sure why it upsets you so much. I just want to spend time with you….get to know you."

Finally Bella turned to face him. She tried to grasp back whatever shred of dignity she had left and smiled weakly. "It isn't anything personal, Edward. I'm just not that interested in pursuing….anything….with you." His eyes narrowed, and Bella could feel herself blushing.

Before she could move or say anything further, he crossed the distance between them until he was standing directly in front of her. He grasped her upper arms and hauled her up against his body. Bella bit back a moan at the heat that was pouring off his body.

He leaned down until his mouth was just inches from hers. "Bullshit," he whispered, before bringing his mouth down against hers harshly. She tried to hold herself stiff; tried to put off the air of being unmoved by his assault on her mouth. But she came undone when he unexpectedly softened the kiss, molding his lips around her bottom lip and sucking gently. She sighed softly and gave in, pulling her arms from his grasp and winding them around his neck. His tongue darted out and licked the corner of her mouth, so sweet with just a hint of salt from tears and sweat. His hands slipped around her back and ran under the hem of her tank top, pulling her impossibly closer. Edward thought he would drown in her, in his need for her.

Bella ran her fingers up into what was left of his hair, scraping her nails lightly along his scalp. She opened her lips and sucked his tongue lightly into her mouth, snapping the small thread he had on his self-control. He ran his right hand down over her hip and hitched her leg up, pushing her back into the mirrored wall. She pulled away, wincing, as the ballet bar bit into her back.

Edward groaned at the loss, but pulled her close to him again, away from the ballet bar. He didn't kiss her this time, but instead ran his nose along the contour of her neck until he was nuzzling just under ear. "Bella," he breathed. She put her hands against his chest and pushed lightly.

He pulled away, but didn't break contact. Instead, his hands ran down her arms gently until he was holding hers.

"Okay," she began, biting her lip. Edward leaned forward and ran his lips lightly across her forehead, tenderly smoothing away the worry lines. "I guess I do owe you an explanation, since being attracted to you is obviously not the problem." She laughed softly and he smiled at her.

Bella broke the contact finally, needing space from him to be able to form a coherent thought. She walked over to her bag in the corner of the room and pulled out her water bottle. She took a long drink and then wordlessly offered it to Edward. He shook his head and leaned back against the mirror, hands resting on the bar. He watched her intently. Bella recapped the bottle and then sat to put her socks and shoes back on; she always danced barefoot.

"So you know my sob story about my parents and spending the last several years alone," she began, avoiding Edward's eyes. He nodded even though she wasn't looking at him. "But I haven't spent all of that time alone." She paused again, searching for the words.

"I actually was in love once. His name was…well, his name isn't important. What is important for you to understand is that I loved him deeply. I thought, rather naively as it turned out, that he loved me back just as much and that we would do the whole married-with-kids thing. He got an assignment to Korea, unaccompanied; so that even if we had been married, I wouldn't have been able to go with him." She looked up at him then. The tortured look in her eyes had him moving in front of her and kneeling down, rubbing his hands lightly along the muscles in her calves.

"Edward, he left. And not only left, he didn't come back. I literally never heard from him again. The Army wouldn't give me any information because I had no legal claim. My phone calls and emails went unanswered. Eighteen months after he left, I saw him at the mall, of all places. He was with a woman and she was very pregnant." She stopped again, blinking back tears at the remembered embarrassment, anger, and betrayal. "So you'll have to forgive me if I don't just rush into your arms after having experienced something like that."

Edward sighed and settled back against the wall beside her. He took her hand in his again and ran his thumb lightly over her knuckles. "Well, you've certainly painted all of us with a very black brush." His voice was rough with emotion and longing. "Bella, I can't promise that I'll never hurt you. I can assure you that he was an asshole who didn't deserve you. And while I may not deserve you either, I would definitely not pull anything underhanded like that." He sighed heavily. "Why don't we try again? Forget dinner, let's go to lunch or just get a drink or take a walk. We'll take it slow if you need to. Just please, don't destroy something that we may have because of him."

Bella turned her head to look at him and he gazed back evenly. Her heart tripped unsteadily in her chest and the butterflies in her stomach took flight. She reached her free hand up and cupped his cheek in her hand, finally smiling softly at him. He leaned lightly into her touch, never taking his gaze off hers.

"I think that would be okay. I think I would like that very much." Bella leaned forward and pressed her lips softly to his. His eyes fluttered closed and he smiled against her mouth.

******

**A/N: Bella's two dance songs: The first, angry one is "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed. The second, sad one is "Stay" by Little Big Town. Completely different, but they reside side by side in my iPhone.**

**I'm not going to beg for reviews, but just keep in mind that they're better than a sweaty Army Edward. =)**


	5. Chapter 4

**** I own nothing related to Twilight. That privilege belongs solely to Stephanie Meyer.**

**Thanks again to herinfiniteeyes for being my beta. And for talking me off the metaphorical ledge last week.**

**Thanks to all of you that have added this story to your favorites and alerts. And a big, big thanks to those of you that have reviewed! Seriously makes my day! =) **

**Now for the good stuff. ****

Chapter 4

Edward offered Bella a ride back to her apartment from the gym. For once she accepted gratefully, knowing that she was scheduled to work that afternoon. Neither one of them had been in a hurry to get up from the dance studio floor. Their interlude had put her behind schedule for the rest of her day. She knew by accepting the ride, she had a fair chance of clocking into work on time.

He pulled up in front of the house that she shared with four other apartments and stopped the car, leaving it idling. Bella hesitated, not sure if she should kiss him or just wave and get out of the car. Just as she reached for the door handle, Edward lifted her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it before he turned it over and placed one single, soft kiss on the inside of her wrist. Bella shivered and he smiled up at her, releasing her hand.

"I know I said we could take it slow, and I meant it," he paused, "but can I see you tomorrow?"

"I would like that. I work in the morning, but I'll be done by 3." Bella surprised them both by leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Still smiling, she opened her car door and jogged lightly to her door.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The next morning dawned bright. For the first time in a very long time, Bella woke up already smiling. She flung off the light coverlet she used on her bed and sat up, snagging a ponytail holder off the table beside her and twisting her hair up and off her neck. She stood, placing her hands on her hips as she surveyed the small studio.

Her apartment was in a converted older home just a few blocks from the university campus. She shared the house with four other apartments on the floors below her. They were all currently occupied by other students, all upperclassmen except for one who was a graduate student. As a result, the house remained relatively quiet and they all got along fairly well. Bella's apartment was in what used to be the attic. It didn't have a lot of space; the door opened into the common room where she had placed a worn couch, coffee table, and a brightly colored throw rug. Just to the left of the sitting area was a small alcove housing the kitchenette featuring a two-burner stove, dorm refrigerator, and small microwave. Bella had curtained off a bedroom of sorts on the other side of the sitting area, shoving in her queen sized bed and a small bedside table. There was also a door that opened to the postage stamp sized bathroom. The bedroom was her favorite part of the apartment, mainly because of the large bay window that came complete with a cushioned window seat. She often studied there and when she sat there at night, it was just her with the moon and stars.

Right now she needed to clean and she only had half an hour before she would need to stop to get ready for work. She slipped on an old t-shirt and sweatpants, grabbed her iPod, and dialed it to her dance list. She danced gracefully across the floor, adding in a couple of pirouettes out of sheer joy.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Bella's stomach twisted almost painfully every time she heard the bell above the door of the café jingle that afternoon. She had been relatively calm all morning, but as her shift wound down the nerves were setting in and she had to keep reminding herself to breathe.

The bell jingled again, but this time the skin on the back of her neck prickled at the same time that Angela called out, "Oh Bellaaaaaaaa."

Bella took another deep breath before turning from the drink machine where she was refilling a customer's soda. She glanced quickly at Angela, who managed to smirk only slightly as she took the tray from Bella. "I'll take this out for you," she winked. _He's so hot_, she mouthed to Bella, her back turned so that Edward couldn't see. Bella blushed and finally looked up to meet Edward's warm gaze.

"Hi," she greeted him.

"Hello. I'm a little early. I hope that's okay," he smiled. Bella came around the corner of the counter and brushed her fingertips against his briefly. His smile widened and he fought the urge to grab her hand and pull her up against him for another kiss.

"It's not a problem. Do you want to sit at a table to wait? I've got about 45 minutes left before I can leave. I can bring you a soda. Or coffee, if you prefer. Or if you're hungry, I can make you a sandwich." _Damn it, girl, stop rambling!_ She mentally cursed her brain for switching into overdrive.

Edward grinned. "It is pretty hot outside. A Coke would be nice." She grinned back and led him to his favorite booth in the corner.

Forty-five minutes later, it was Edward leading Bella, this time out the front door towards his car. She combed her fingers through her hair nervously and slid into the passenger seat after he opened the car door for her. She leaned over the driver seat and opened his door for him. He slid in, started the engine and then squeezed her hand in his.

"Is there something that you want to do?" he asked, running his lips softly over the knuckles of her left hand. She smiled back at him, and then bit her lip nervously.

"Would it be okay to run back to my place? I really don't want to hang out smelling like fried fish." She laughed. Grinning, he threw the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking lot. They were silent for the short trip, until Edward pulled up in front of the house. "I won't be long, but would you like to come in? I mean, it's not a big place, or that nice for that matter, but I like it and it's home…" Bella trailed off. _You're rambling again! Get..._ She could feel herself blushing again. Edward only nodded and turned the car off to follow her inside.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

They spent the afternoon in her apartment with the sun streaming in through the dormer windows, gilding the room in gold. Bella put a pot of water on to boil for tea and jumped in the shower. When she was done, she found Edward flipping through the playlist on her iPod. She fixed their cups and brought them to the coffee table, settling gracefully beside him on the couch.

"Let's talk music. Why in the world do you have so much eighties music on here?" He teased and Bella tried to resist the urge to stick her tongue out at him.

"I have eighties music on there because it was, and still is, totally awesome!" She laughed and wrestled the remote for the iPod dock away from him. "So you don't like eighties music. Fine. What's your favorite?"

He frowned slightly and thought about his answer. Finally he shook his head. "Nope, too hard. I can't pick a favorite. I really do like almost all of it." Bella rolled her eyes and he laughed.

"Okay, I'll make it easier. What's your favorite…?" She thought for a second. "Dance song?"

"As a rule, I don't dance. I mean, I slow dance just fine, but I don't dance. Like in a club, I mean," he finished. "But as far as dance music, I really like the Black Eyed Peas." He shifted on the couch so that he was facing her and ran his fingers up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. He grinned when she shivered. "What about you?"

"Um...me too. I mean, I like the Black Eyed Peas too." She smiled back at him, blushing. She continued, "What about classical? Do you listen to it? Do you have a favorite composer?" She took a drink from her cup of tea, trying not to wince when she burned her tongue.

"That one's easy. Debussy, hands down. _La Mer _is my favorite." Edward rested his hand on the back of the couch, lightly fingering the ends of her hair. "Now I have one for you. It might be slightly harder." Bella looked at him warily. "What…in your opinion, of course….is the sexiest song ever recorded?"

She laughed. "That is a hard question and almost impossible to answer, given the 'ever recorded' caveat." She thought for a moment, while he watched her, his cup of tea completely forgotten on the coffee table. "If I had to, I would choose…..Santana's 'Black Magic Woman." She peeked sideways at him from under lashes. She shivered again when she noticed that his eyes had darkened and he was biting down on his bottom lip. "What about you, Edward? What's your sexiest song ever recorded?" Her voice was barely a whisper now. The air between them was thick with electricity and they were both finding it difficult to keep their breathing even.

"John Lee Hooker's 'Solid Sender.'" He replied without hesitation. "I think I saw that on here." She nodded and he took the docking station remote from her, flipping through the playlist until it landed on the song. The first licks from the guitar oozed out of the speakers.

Edward stood and put his hand out to Bella. She slid hers into it and he pulled her until she was standing. He led her to the other side of the coffee table, to a small open space on the floor. She gasped as he pulled her to him, pressing her up against him, one thigh pressed between hers. One of his large hands pressed into her lower back, holding her close to him. His other hand held hers to his chest over his heart. They swayed gently, barely moving.

Bella let her left hand come to rest on his arm. She marveled at the hardness of his bicep under his blue button up shirt. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, drinking in his smell. He wasn't wearing cologne, but he smelled nice. Like mint and sunshine and something darker which she couldn't identify. There was a slight scent of tobacco underneath it all, but she found she kind of liked it. Bella fought back a tremble as he dipped his head until his mouth was beside her ear. His breath tickled when his nose grazed the skin just below her lobe.

The song ended, but Edward made no move to release her. He clenched his teeth, reminding himself that he had promised her that they could take things slowly. He couldn't remember the last time that it had taken this much effort to resist something or someone. He wanted her. He wanted to taste her again. He needed to bury himself in her until they both found release. He closed his eyes and imagined Bella screaming his name.

She leaned back finally to gaze at him. She ran her free hand across his shoulder, up his neck, and caressed his jaw. Edward opened his eyes to look at her finally and she breathed in sharply at the need that swirled there. She tried to press herself closer to him and tilted her head up, brushing her lips against his.

With a groan, he relented and deepened the kiss, nipping gently at her bottom lip, and then stroking her tongue with his. At last he released her and took a step back. Inhaling shakily, he ran a hand through his hair. She watched him, tugging her shirt down, suddenly nervous again. _What the hell just happened?_ She wondered, still shaking with her own need.

"Um…" he began and then cleared his throat before continuing. "I don't know if you remember my friend Jasper who was with me the first night we met?" She nodded and he went on. "He's playing at a bar near post next Friday. Would you like to come with me? My sister Alice will be there and I know she'd enjoy meeting you."

Bella smiled at him and Edward couldn't help but smile back, finally back in control of himself. "I'd love to." He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips again.

"I'm going to be in the field for the next three days, but I'll text or call as soon as I get back, okay?"

Bella looked up at him and swallowed nervously. She knew what he was asking her. She could feel a faint sense of panic at the knowledge that he was leaving, even though it was only a few days, but she forced it back down and smiled brightly at him.

"That will be fine. Be safe." She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his chest. He held her for a moment before kissing the top of her head. Bella walked him to the door and Edward jogged down the stairs and out the front door, whistling softly to himself.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

**A/N: Please review. As an extra carrot, the first person that reviews and tells me where the title of the story comes from gets to pick a date location and activity for our two favorite lovebirds. =)**


	6. Chapter 5

**** As usual, I don't own.**

**Thanks again to herinfiniteeyes for beta-ing. 3**

**Sorry for the delay in updating. Real life sucks balls of a goat sometimes. Lol Thanks to everyone who has favorited/alerted and a huge thanks for those that review! **

**See A/N at end for important notes ****

Chapter 5

The unfamiliar chime from her cell phone woke Bella the next morning. She rolled over in bed and threw the coverlet over her head, groaning slightly, and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, it chimed again. She poked her head out and opened one eye, squinting to see the clock beside the bed.

_Who the hell is texting me at 5:30 in the morning??? _She grunted and considered her options. Her phone was across the room, currently residing on the coffee table. She could throw something at it. But then she wouldn't be able to afford a new one for a couple of weeks. She didn't have a home phone, so she wouldn't have another communication option. Of course, her cell was the only number that Edward had. _Wait! Edward! Edward's texting me!_

Bella bolted from the bed, her left foot tangling in the sheets, costing her precious seconds as she tried to disentangle herself. She finally freed herself as her phone chimed again. She flipped it open and then sighed happily as the text came up.

_Good morning. _

_Ready to head out, wanted u to know I'd be thinking about u._

_E_

Bella allowed herself a small squeal session before texting back. She stopped and debated for a minute before beginning.

_Good morning back. Can't wait to see you Friday. Be safe._

_B_

She considered it for a moment, wondering if it was too impersonal. She sighed once, then shrugged and hit send. She couldn't be expected to let all of her issues go just because he had texted her before leaving for his field exercise. Bella stood in the middle of the living room and debated with herself. Go back to bed or hit the gym? She looked longingly at her bed, but knew that it would be hopeless to try to sleep now. _I guess it's the gym for me_, she thought to herself. She headed to the bathroom to get ready for her day.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The sun was setting Thursday evening as the truck pulled up to the company parking lot. Edward filed out of the back with the rest of his buddies and trudged across the gravel lot to turn in his weapon. A small part of his brain registered that Emmett was talking to him, but currently there was just a very short list of matters that concerned him. He wanted a nice, long, hot shower to remove the funk of three days in the field with a bunch of other sweaty men. He needed food that didn't come out of a vacuum-sealed plastic bag that needed to be hydrated with water. However, most of all, and before all of that, he wanted to talk to Bella. He craved the sound of her voice and wanted desperately to kiss her again.

He signed his weapon back in to the sergeant on duty then headed back out to the parking lot. He waved at Emmett and Jasper as he slid into his driver's seat. Grabbing his phone from the glove compartment, he turned it on and saw Bella's text from Monday morning. He grinned. Starting the engine, he pressed the button for his contact list and scrolled impatiently through the list until he saw her name, then selected it to dial.

It rang several times then went to voicemail. "Hey, you've reached Bella. Leave me a message." Her voice had a calming effect and he was able to refrain from chucking his phone out the window after he disconnected. Edward considered his options. She was probably at work and he could go there and get the kind of food he was craving. Of course, he hadn't had a shower yet and there was no stench worse than just-out-of-the-field stench. He would hate to have to chase her down when she ran away from the smell. On the other hand, he could be reasonable, take a shower, hit the DFAC, and call her again later tonight.

_God, I hate being reasonable_. He tossed his phone into the passenger seat, slid the car into drive, and peeled out of the parking lot.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward woke to a pitch-black room. The only light was the sliver that came in under his door that led to the common room. He groaned and rolled over, glancing at the clock. He tried to remember why it was a bad thing that he had fallen asleep and not woken until 2310.

Suddenly he bolted upright as it hit him. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCKERY!" He slammed his hand down on the desktop and tried to find his phone in the dark. _Damn it! She's going to think I forgot her. _He took a deep breath and tried to focus. _Right. I need light. _He felt his way carefully towards the door, stumbling only once on his bags that he hadn't yet bothered to unpack. Flipping the light on, he grabbed his phone from the top of his dresser, found Bella's contact listing and dialed. He held his breath as the phone rang once, then twice. She picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?" Her voice was soft, but it didn't sound like she had been asleep. Edward breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bella, it's Edward. I'm so sorry to call you so late."

"It's okay, Edward. I saw I missed your call while I was at work." She paused. "Did everything go okay?"

Edward settled back onto his bed, leaning back against the cinderblock wall. "It was fine, but I thought about you a lot," he blurted. He was glad they weren't having this conversation in person. He would hate for her to see him blushing like a 12-year-old virgin. He heard her sigh softly.

"I'm glad you called," she murmured.

"Me too." Edward closed his eyes. "Are we still on for tomorrow night? Would you like to go to dinner before we hit the bar?"

He could swear he could hear her smiling. "I would like that. Is 8:00 okay?"

"Absolutely. I'll pick you up." He hesitated. "Bella…I'm looking forward to seeing you." They said their good nights and disconnected.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The next night Bella sat on the couch and tried to refrain from pacing. Nerves and exhaustion had combined to make her unusually clumsy all day. She had dropped several trays full of dishes at work that morning, each time earning her a hearty round of applause and laughter from her co-workers. She found herself oddly afraid that if she moved from her couch, Edward would come to the door and find her injured.

_Nothing like a trip to the E.R. to start a first date off right_. She laughed to herself.

She twirled a curl of her hair around her finger and reconsidered what she was wearing. For the first time, she found herself disappointed in the lack of options afforded from her own closet. She had opted for a pair of dark wash jeans, boots with a low heel, and a black blouse with three-quarter length sleeves. The sleeves worked well to hide the bruise on her elbow that she earned that morning by misjudging the last step leading out to the street.

A low knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She stood, smoothed down her shirt, and stepped to the door, swinging it open as Edward raised his hand to tap again. Her mouth instantly went dry and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered in double time. He was also dressed simply in jeans a few shades lighter than hers and a light green button-up shirt. The collar of his shirt was open and the sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, revealing tanned, muscular forearms.

"You look beautiful," he said, his voice strangely rough. He cleared his throat. "Are you ready to go?"

Bella nodded, grabbed her keys, and stepped through the door, locking it behind her. She followed him down the two flights of stairs to his car.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet, but Bella was relieved that it was an easy silence. Edward's favorite, Debussy, played softly from the speakers. His hand traced light circles on the back of hers. He pulled the car into a public lot and turned it off.

"I hope it's okay if we walk. The restaurant I have in mind is only a block or so up the street." At Bella's nod, he unbuckled his seatbelt and slid out of his seat. _Oh man, what a view_, Bella thought, watching his thighs flex as he stood. Blushing slightly at the path her thoughts had taken, she waited for him to come around and open her door.

They ambled slowly down the street in the direction of the restaurant, hands entwined, swinging slightly between them. The night was pleasantly warm without being overbearing; the summer heat from earlier in the day had given way with an afternoon thunderstorm.

After they were seated at an outdoor table and had ordered their drinks, Edward threaded his fingers through Bella's. "How was your week?"

She smiled, rubbing her thumb lightly over his knuckle. "It was fine. Work was…well…work. I went to the gym a few times. I'm trying to get caught up on my fun reading before classes start back." She bit her lip before peeking up at him through her eyelashes. "I missed you. Did you have a good week?"

The corner of his mouth turned up in a grin at her words. "I hate going to the field. It almost always turns in to a bunch of jackassery." Bella laughed and Edward went continued. "My LT, sorry, my lieutenant, had a real bug up his ass for some reason. He kept giving Tyler, my roommate, and me hell."

The waiter brought their drinks and set them on the table. They ordered their dinner and silence fell again.

"So what" - Bella started.

"You mentioned" - Edward began at the same time. They laughed easily and Edward waved for her to continue.

"So what is his problem, your LT?" She brought her glass to her mouth, licking a small section of the sugarcoated rim before taking a sip. Edward groaned internally as her tongue traced the rim of the glass. He shifted in his chair, trying to make himself more comfortable, wondering if she knew how she was torturing him. _Focus! She asked you a question!_

He took a gulp of his beer before answering her. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I think Tyler just grates on him. I've heard he's getting ready to be reassigned too." Edward shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe he's just a dick." He took another nervous swallow of his drink. "You mentioned you went to the gym some this week. Do you dance every time you go?" He watched, fascinated, as a blush spread across her cheekbones.

Bella tried not to remember how he had caught her crying. She tried to focus on his question, which should have been simple to answer. Every time she opened her mouth, she couldn't get past the memory of his mouth on hers or his hands on the skin at the small of her back. She shivered. Almost instantly, Edward pulled her chair towards him with a loud grating sound and threw his arm around her.

"Are you cold?" He asked, rubbing her arm lightly. Bella smiled and settled back into the crook of his arm.

"Not now." She told him honestly. "Anyway, no, I don't dance every time I go to the gym. Sometimes I really just go to work out. I usually run since it's most effective at keeping my cardio up." She shrugged before continuing. "Sometimes I dance just because I've got a feeling or a movement in my head that needs to get out. Sometimes I'm just emotional." She laughed and took another drink.

Relaxing into his body heat, Bella let her hand come to rest on his thigh. "Will you tell me about Alice and the others that we'll be seeing tonight?" Edward's left hand trailed over the back of her neck, teasing the short strands of hair there. His right hand toyed with the fork at his place setting. Bella was quickly coming to realize that this was just characteristic of him; he never sat truly still.

"Alice is my sister, of course. She's a student at the university, majoring in business. She has a lot of energy and can be overwhelming, but she's also very kind. Jasper is the one performing. We've been friends since I got here last year. He and Alice started dating back in June. Luckily he's a good guy." Edward paused as the waitress set their plates of food in front of them. He continued as they ate. "Tyler is my roommate. He doesn't hang out with us that often, but I think he's planning on going tonight."

"Does it bother you that Jasper is dating your sister?"

"It did. Sometimes it still does. I try not to think about it." He grinned up at her and Bella laughed. "Let's see, Emmett and Rose may be there tonight. Emmett is my best friend. We grew up together and somehow lucked out to both be stationed here at the same time. He's like my brother. Rose is his wife. Don't be surprised if she's not…friendly…tonight. She doesn't like me very much. She and Emmett were high school sweethearts and she blames me for his decision to enlist." Edward's forehead creased as he frowned slightly. Bella decided to let the topic lie and they ate in easy silence for a while.

She watched him for a few minutes, absentmindedly twirling her fork through her pasta. _Oh God, this is so awkward._ The internal debate that had gone on all day continued to rage inside her. _Do I bring it up? I have to bring it up. What if he thinks I'm a slut because I bring it up?_

Edward looked at her curiously and Bella realized that she hadn't taken a bite of her food. She speared a cherry tomato and shoved it in her mouth. _Okay, maybe a little liquid courage would be good._ She took a couple of large swallows of her drink.

"So Edward, I've been thinking. We should go get tested soon so we can have sex."

He choked on his cheeseburger, coughing and turning red. _What the fuck did she just say?_ It wasn't a surprise that she wanted him; he knew that from her reactions every time he kissed her. What was a surprise was that she wasn't waiting on him to make any declarations or take any first steps.

"Jesus, Bella, warn a guy next time." Edward gasped, taking a swallow from his glass of water. He tried to stop coughing and control his breathing.

Finally he looked up to see her watching him. "I just had one a couple of months ago for my Army physical. I'm clean. I haven't been with anyone since." He studied her, considering. It was far from an arousing conversation, but just the knowledge that Bella was willing to sleep with him had his cock stiffening. He shifted in his seat to adjust then slid his arm back around her shoulders.

She nodded. "Okay, I haven't been with anyone since…well, for a long time, so I'll go to the clinic next week."

He pulled her closer and leaned down to her ear. "I like that you brought it up. It's a turn on for me that you're taking control like that and that you want me like I want you." Edward pressed his lips to her ear and let his tongue snake out to trace the ridge. He was rewarded when Bella shivered and a blush spread across her cheeks.

She smiled at him before turning back to her pasta, suddenly desperate to move past the moment so she wouldn't attack him where he sat. "So what kind of music does Jasper play?"

Edward smiled back before turning back to his own plate. They chatted amiably while finishing their dinner and walked the two blocks to the bar with their arms around each other.

**A/N: A couple of explanations:**

**DFAC – acronym for "Dining FACility." Basically the dining hall in Army barracks.**

**2310 – military time for 11:10 pm.**

**I'm headed to Texas this weekend for the perfect fangirl weekend. Not TwiCon, but all the concerts related (ie, Sam, Bobby, Marcus, and 100 Monkeys). The next chapter is ready and has already been beta-d so I'll post either Monday night or Tuesday. Thanks for your patience!**


	7. Chapter 6

**** As usual, I don't own anything Twilight related. Le sigh.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for spit-polishing this chapter for me. =)**

**Thanks also to ZephyerSky for rec'ing my story in her last chapter and for virtually holding my hand when I was getting all panicky. Love ya babe. **

**Quick list of stories that I'm currently addicted to and I think you all should be reading (because I'm bossy like that):**

**ZephyerSky – Across the Hall**

**Hunterhunting – Clipped Wings & Inked Armor**

**Ericastwilight – Punch Me, Love Me, Save Me**

**Atypical-swan – Show Me a Garden That's Bursting Into Life (FYI, this one is a slash, eventual poly. This means boy on boy action. If that's not your thing, you might want to skip it.)**

**On to the good stuff! ****

Chapter 6

The smoke was already making the air hazy as Edward and Bella made their way along the wall of the room to the bar. He handed his credit card to the bartender to start a tab and ordered two bottles of beer for himself & Bella. Turning from the bar, he was immediately hailed by a group in front of the small stage. Winking at Bella, he captured her hand in his and led her through the crowd.

Edward's friends had pushed a couple of tables together just to the left of the stage and were crowded around them. Somebody had chosen Creedence Clearwater on the jukebox and Bella had to lean forward to hear the introductions as Edward made them.

"Bella, you remember Emmett?" She nodded and laughed as Emmett ignored her outstretched hand and instead pulled her into a one-armed hug.

"Bella! Good to see you again! This is my wife, Rosalie." The lovely blonde woman smiled tightly at Bella, but made no move to shake her hand, choosing instead to sip her drink and cast her eyes around the room.

Edward continued. "This is Tyler, my roommate." He was sitting across the table so Bella just waved. He smiled and lifted his bottle of beer in acknowledgement. Continuing around the table, she smiled shyly at Lauren, Tyler's girlfriend, a pretty brunette who only nodded back blandly.

Bella smiled to acknowledge Jasper as he tipped his hat to her like someone out of an old movie. Finally Edward turned her slightly until she was face to face with a small girl with short, dark hair. "And this is my little sister, Alice."

Alice's face lit up as she threw her arms around Bella's neck. "Bella! I'm so glad to finally meet you!" Her whole body radiated movement, even when she wasn't actually moving. "Edward's told me a lot about you, but don't worry I don't believe any of it." She giggled at her joke and looped her arm through Bella's, tugging her down into a chair beside her. "I think you and I are going to be great friends!" Edward settled easily into a chair beside them, threading the fingers of his free hand with Bella's.

Feeling slightly overwhelmed by the group and Alice's energy, Bella took a long drink of her beer. Her eyes met Edward's green ones over the rim of her bottle. She lowered her drink and he smiled at her, questioning, seeking reassurance that she was okay with the situation. She nodded slightly and his gaze flickered down to her lips before he leaned close and pressed a small kiss to her temple.

"Hey Cullen, I'm headed to the bar. Why don't you give me a hand?" Jasper stood up and motioned towards the bar. Edward nodded at him and released Bella so he could follow. Bella and Alice watched them go.

"You know, Bella, it's been a long time since I've seen my brother so happy." Alice grinned up at her. They sat comfortably side by side, arms entwined. Bella was surprised at how relaxed she felt with the other girl after having just met her. "I think you're good for him. He tends to be a little….moody and temperamental." She laughed then and took a swallow of the amber liquid in her glass. "Remind me sometime to tell you stories from when he was a teenager."

"Now I would like to hear those." Bella laughed. "What about you and Jasper? You haven't been together long, right?"

Alice's eyes softened, taking on a dreamy quality. She sighed a little, watching him and her brother talking to the bartender. "Not too long, but I'll tell you a secret." She looked up at Bella and smiled her thousand watt smile. "There's no one else for me. I'm going to marry that man. I'm just waiting for him to realize it too."

A small pang of jealousy skipped through Bella's chest at the other girl's words. _I wonder what it would be like to have that kind of faith in someone else_, she thought. She found herself wondering at Alice's words, curious as to how exactly Alice knew these things. Her thoughts were interrupted when Edward and Jasper returned with a round of shots for the table. Edward skimmed a hand over her hair and set a shot and another beer in front of her. She smiled up at him gratefully.

"I have a toast!" Emmett's voice rang out and everyone at the table turned to him. "Here's to old friends and new!" He winked at Bella before continuing. "And here's to Hale, kicking ass on stage tonight!" Emmett tipped the contents of the shot glass into his mouth and the rest of the table followed suit.

Bella's eyes watered as the licorice-flavored liquor burned its way down her throat to her stomach. She coughed slightly and chased it with a swallow of her beer. She turned to Alice to continue their earlier conversation, but the other girl was tucked up under Jasper's arm, whispering in his ear.

Bella took the opportunity to gaze around the bar. They had walked down a short flight of stairs to get inside and the room had the feel of someone's basement. The bar stretched along the back wall and there was a jukebox tucked into the corner with an almost constant queue of patrons waiting to pick out music. It was a fairly small space. From where she sat, she could see every corner of the room except around the corner where a sign pointed toward the restrooms.

She shivered slightly as she felt Edward press his lips against her ear. "Are you having a good time?" He asked. Bella turned to look at him, smiling. She nodded and, leaning towards him, let herself indulge in a quick nibble along his jaw.

Edward closed his eyes and tried not to groan out loud. _God, she has no idea what she does to me_, he thought to himself. He was trying to not to push her. He wanted her to set the pace, but it was getting harder and harder to restrain himself around her. _And it doesn't help when she does things like this. _

Just then, a hand clapped down on his shoulder. He looked up to see Tyler smirking at him. "Hey Cullen, we're going to head out. Lauren has to head home. It was nice to meet you, Bella." He smiled at her and then led Lauren out of the bar.

Edward studied her for a few minutes as she giggled at Emmett, who was doing his best to make a grouchy Rosalie laugh. Bella had her chin propped up on her hand, leaning forward on the table. The corners of her mouth were turned up and her eyes danced as she watched Em clown around for his wife. There was a slight flush across her delicate cheekbones.

He turned as he heard a definite smack ring out next to him. Whatever Emmett had been doing, it had apparently irritated Rosalie to the point where she had forcibly smacked his hand away. Even now she glared at him before her gaze drifted around the table to the others. Her eyes finally came to rest on Bella, and then narrowed. Bella shrank back into her chair.

"What the hell do you think you're looking at?!" Rosalie bit out, before sliding her chair away from the table and storming to the bathroom. Bella sat there wide-eyed, barely registering Alice patting her on the shoulder before she got up to follow Rosalie.

"What the fuck, Em? What was that about?" Edward fairly growled, furious that she had singled Bella out of the crowd when the whole table had been watching. He ran his thumb down her back, between her shoulder blades, trying to comfort her and rub some of the tension out of her shoulders at the same time. Emmett sighed and ran a hand over his hair. He turned in his seat and leaned across Edward, grabbing Bella's hand and tugging until she was turned sideways, looking at him.

"Bella, there's no excuse for my Rose's rudeness," he began earnestly. He sighed, suddenly looking older than his twenty-six years. "But I do want to explain, if possible." Emmett stood up suddenly, releasing Bella's hand and stepping around to the seat that Alice had vacated. He sat back down and caught her other hand, patting it somewhat awkwardly. "The truth is that Rose is having kind of a hard time right now. We've been…well…we're trying to have a baby. We have been for awhile now, and it just isn't working. We just found out today that it didn't work out this time either." He shook his head before continuing. "I shouldn't have made her come tonight, but I thought it might do her good. I'm sorry." He gazed back up at Bella and across to Edward, who clasped his hand on Emmett's shoulder, Bella pressed between them.

She studied Emmett for a moment and then leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "No worries, Emmett. It's not like she slapped me or anything." She chuckled and Emmett joined her, his previous melancholy lifting as suddenly as it had appeared.

"Good thing too," he joked. "My girl's got a wicked right hook." He winked at Bella, and then stood. "Guess I'll go see if I can help." With that he wandered off toward the bathroom area where Rose and Alice had disappeared.

Bella took a long pull of her drink and Edward crushed out the cigarette he was smoking, his arm still around Bella's chair. "I'm sorry for that. She's always been kind of cold, but she's never been downright rude before." He stroked his hand through Bella's hair. She looked up at him and shook her head.

"Seriously, Edward, there's nothing to apologize for. Obviously she's having a bad day. Let's just forget about it, okay?" He nodded and Bella turned slightly as Alice slid back into her seat between Bella and Jasper, who had been observing the drama quietly. She kissed him with a loud smack before turning to Bella and launching into a discussion about the book _Jude, the Obscure_.

Emmett and Rosalie returned a few minutes later. They took their seats at the end of the table. It appeared that everyone was opting for pretending that nothing out of the ordinary had happened earlier.

Alice leaned close to Bella as Jasper stepped on the small stage, slinging his guitar strap over his shoulder. "It doesn't matter how often I come to his shows, I still get so excited…and well….swoon-y!" She giggled and Bella laughed too. Their table clapped and cheered as Jasper launched in to his first song.

Bella watched her new friend's face glow as she watched Jasper on stage. Alice was special and she was glad they had met. Bella didn't know many people that could hold a half-intoxicated, intelligent discussion on the social commentary of a book like _Jude, the Obscure_ in a crowded bar. Still grinning, she looked at Edward, who was still quietly drinking beside her.

His eyes had turned dark as he eavesdropped on her conversation with his sister, stilling her laughter as a pleasant fire ignited in her stomach. He tugged her towards him until she moved onto his lap; she could feel the hard length of him pressing into her thigh and she moaned involuntarily.

"Have I ever told you that I find intelligent girls so damn hot?" He whispered. His left hand trailed up her leg, stopping just on the inside of her thigh while his right hand wound its way into her hair. He captured her mouth with his, sucking on her bottom lip until she opened for him. He let his tongue dance along hers, heady with the heat from her mouth.

Bella's eyes fluttered closed, her senses overwhelmed with him. The touch of his hand on her thigh, his other hand in her hair, the taste of him in her mouth, the smell of his skin, all came together until her head swam dizzily. She wound her arms around his neck to anchor herself to him and pressed against his chest, desperate to close any distance between them.

Edward finally pulled his mouth from hers, trailing open mouthed kisses along her jaw, then down her neck to the small bit of exposed skin at her collarbone. They were interrupted when Emmett cleared his throat beside them.

"Uh, you guys are going to steal Jasper's thunder if you keep up with your little show." He snickered. Bella blushed, suddenly remembering where they were. She started to slide off Edward's lap, but he locked his arms around her.

Looking embarrassed, but still grinning, he whispered, "Give me a second before you move, okay?" Bella's eyes widened as she caught his implication, but she nodded, hoping she wasn't blushing too obviously. Edward gave himself a couple of minutes and then let Bella slide into the seat next to him as Jasper kicked off his next song. Edward lit another cigarette and let his arm come to rest on the back of her chair.

The drinks flowing at their table, the waitress kept them supplied in their poison of choice. It seemed like no time at all to Bella before Jasper was announcing his last song of the set. He strummed the first chords and began a sweet, somewhat melancholy love song, watching Alice as he strummed. Alice's eyes never left Jasper's. Bella was surprised when she realized that her eyes had misted over, watching the couple.

Edward's fingers brushed against the nape of Bella's neck. She leaned into him as Jasper's song ended and the music from the jukebox came blaring back. She looked up at Edward, giggling at how the alcohol was obviously beginning to affect him. His eyes were half-closed and he was only able to smile crookedly at her. She squirmed in her seat slightly.

"I'm going to the restroom. Be right back." Edward pressed a kiss to her forehead and let her go. She stood, swaying slightly as the room spun. She giggled and looked down to see Edward smirking at her. Bella made her way unsteadily across the room, turning down the hall that was the only hidden part of the bar. She used the restroom, washed her hands, and tried somewhat successfully to slick some gloss over her lips.

Bella swung open the door and promptly slammed into what felt like a solid wall. "Sorry 'bout that," she snickered and made to move past the guy in front of her.

"Now wait just a minute! Where do you think you're going?" The guy she had bumped into wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her back to him. "You can't just press up against me and then walk away!"

Bella shook her head, trying to clear it. "But I didn't…I mean, I wouldn't…I didn't mean…" she stammered. She looked around wildly before realizing that they were still hidden from everyone else. Turning back to him, she tried pulling her wrist away. "Really, I'm sorry I bumped into you. I'm just going to head back to my friends."

She couldn't help the small shriek as he spun her around so that her back was pressed against the wall. He looped the fingers of his right hand through the belt loop on her jeans and put his left hand on the wall beside her head. His breath was sour when he leaned in close to her again. "Aww…my feelings are going to be hurt. You don't want to talk to me? Don't be such a little tease." Bella whimpered and watched a single bead of sweat run down his temple.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Edward's voice was low and menacing, but carried over the music perfectly. Bella suddenly felt like crying. The night had been close to perfect until now. She turned her head slightly to see Edward standing perfectly still, vibrating with rage, Jasper and Emmett flanking him on each side. She could just see Alice standing behind Jasper's shoulder. Gazing back at Edward, she shivered, hoping she never saw him look at her like that.

The guy in front of her only smirked and moved his left hand from the wall to slide his fingers through the belt loops on the other side of her body. He turned slightly back to Edward. "Whatever I want, man. Why don't you and your boyfriends just run along now?" He ground his hips into Bella's. Adrenaline flooded through her: her heartbeat accelerated and her vision narrowed into a tunnel, blocking out Edward and everyone else. When her attacker eased back to sneer at Edward again, she seized her opportunity and jerked her knee up into his groin. She watched coldly as his eyes rolled back into his head and he stumbled backward, releasing her.

Before Bella could even process what was happening, Alice grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the women's bathroom. She wrapped her arms around Bella and rocked her slightly. There were several thumps from the hallway outside, then nothing except the beat of the music from the bar. Bella could feel herself shaking now that the adrenaline was draining from her body.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." Bella repeated, swiping impatiently at the tears that had started sliding down her cheeks. Alice pulled away and studied her for a minute before releasing her.

"You scared us when you didn't come back to the table." Alice pulled several paper towels from the dispenser and ran them under cool water. She handed them to Bella, who gratefully pressed them against her face.

"I'm so sorry. I just stepped out of the bathroom and there he was." She tossed the paper towels in the open trash can. Alice turned her so that they were facing each other.

"Bella, there's nothing to apologize for. I'm sure the guys have finished what you started by now." She swiped a powder puff across Bella's nose and smiled. "Luckily we're basically the same complexion. Now here, reapply your gloss and let's get back out there." Bella did as she was ordered and then followed Alice out of the bathroom.

She stopped when she saw Edward leaning against the wall in the hallway. Alice only squeezed her hand and kept walking, returning to their table where the others were waiting. Bella took a moment to study Edward. His jaw was tense and diamond-hard, his eyes narrowed as he watched her, looking for signs of distress. She tried to smile at him and stepped in front him until she was close, but not touching him.

"I'm alright," she whispered. "Thank you for coming to find me." With a groan, Edward grasped her hand and pulled her into him. He buried his face into her neck, breathing in the fruity scent of her perfume and the sweet smell of her shampoo. Bella wound her arms around his waist and leaned her forehead against his chest.

He chuckled suddenly. "God, Bella, I thought I was going to kill him when I saw his hands on you. I see now you can take care of yourself. Remind me never to cross you." Bella grinned up at him. Turning serious again, Edward took a deep breath and stroked his hands along her spine. "I'm so sorry I didn't come with you…that I didn't get to you sooner."

Bella pulled away slightly and shook her head at him. "Edward, you can't be with me at every moment. And you certainly can't follow me to the bathroom every time I need to go. Please don't let him ruin our night. I'm having so much fun. That whole thing was insignificant. I didn't even lose my buzz over it." She bit her lip before running her hands to his stomach and up his chest. "What happened to him anyway, just out of curiosity?"

Edward laughed again and pressed his lips to hers. "He was…um…escorted outside by Emmett, Jasper, and one of the bouncers who happens to be a friend of ours," he smirked. Bella smiled at him.

"Then let's go join the others."

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

They spent the rest of the evening laughing, drinking and dancing. Jasper played another set and once again, barely removed his gaze from Alice who watched him constantly, the electricity sizzling between them. By the time last call came, not one of them was able to drive. Emmett and Rosalie had left some time before so the bartender called a cab, which they all shared.

The cab driver drove to Bella's first. She stumbled out of the van, kissing Jasper on the cheek and promising to call Alice the next day. She giggled when Edward tumbled out after her. She grabbed his hand and tugged him after her. He glanced back once when the cab screeched away from the curb before following Bella up the walk and up the stairs.

She turned at her door and pressed herself against him, molding her lips to his, and scraping her fingernails lightly along his scalp. He groaned and flicked his tongue out to taste her. He pinned her back against the door, cupping her face in his hands.

Bella tried to pull him even closer, smacking her head against the doorframe in the process, causing a loud thunk. "Ow," she groaned, breaking their kiss and rubbing her hand along the back of her head. Edward snorted, trying to repress the mirth bubbling up in his chest. Bella glared at him before snickering. They both erupted into drunken, riotous laughter.

Edward took a step back, allowing Bella to turn enough to slide her key into the lock. It only took her three tries before she heard the lock click and the door swung open. He followed her inside, kicking the door shut with his foot. She turned to him, then gasped when he slid his arms around her waist and picked her up. Bella locked her legs around his waist as he kissed her again, walking her back towards her bed. Edward stumbled once, causing their laughter to erupt again when he almost dropped her. They fell onto the bed and grinned foolishly at each other.

**A/N: Uh oh, I'm thinking I might get my first bad review for leaving it there. *ducks rotten tomatoes***

**Love you guys. 3 Review and tell me how much you hate me for the mild cliffie. =)**


	8. Chapter 7

**** I own nothing Twilight related. Except for RP's autograph, framed on my wall.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for beta-ing.**

**Thanks for all of the story alerts and favorites. And a big, big thank you to all who take the time to review. I read every single one of them. =)**

**Please see A/N at the end of the chapter. ****

Chapter 7

It was the light that woke her. It pressed against her eyelids until she gave in and opened them. She slammed them shut immediately, trying to stifle the wave of nausea that rolled over her.

_I'm in bed in my jeans. What the hell?_

Bella opened one eye, testing the pain in her head to see if it was tolerable. Finding that she could withstand it, she blinked and sat up. She rubbed her fists against her eyes as flashes from the night before came flooding back.

_The bar. Jasper singing. The scene in front of the bathroom. Alice explaining how she was going to marry Jasper. Dancing with Alice. Dancing with Edward. Kissing Edward. Sitting on Edward's lap and the delicious feel of him hard against her thigh. _

_Laughing uproariously during the cab ride home. Their breathless run up the stairs to her apartment. Edward kissing her again. Giggling madly as they fell on to her bed. And then…nothing. _

The bed shifted underneath her and she peeked out from behind her hands. Edward was asleep beside her. His torso was bare and the blanket was pushed down to his waist.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God, what did we do?!_ Bracing herself, Bella gingerly pulled up a corner of the blanket, and then sighed in relief when she saw that Edward was also still clothed in his jeans. Opting to give herself a moment to collect her thoughts, Bella slid out of the bed and tiptoed as quietly as she could to the bathroom.

She used the toilet, and then washed her face, removing all vestiges of the previous night's makeup. Running the water in the sink as cold as she could, Bella brushed her teeth with it and then drank some directly from her hands. She studied herself in the mirror after changing into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. _Okay, this will only be awkward if you let it be awkward. Oh please, please, don't let it be awkward._

Turning off the water and drying her hands, Bella straightened the towel on the rack. She decided to slick on a little deodorant, hoping that she didn't smell too bad underneath. _Right, now you're just stalling._ She grimaced at her internal voice, but pulled the door open slowly. To her relief, Edward hadn't moved.

Leaning against the doorjamb, Bella took the opportunity to study him. He was laying on his stomach, which afforded her an unobstructed view of the lean cords of the muscles in his back and shoulders. He had a tattoo in the very middle of his back, between his shoulders. It was some kind of circular pattern, perfectly symmetrical. He had one arm curled under his head and the other thrown over the side, the tips of his long fingers just brushing the floor. His russet hair was in complete disarray; his eyes were closed, and his long lashes curled slightly against his cheeks. He groaned slightly in his sleep and Bella grinned.

She moved stealthily back around to her side of the bed and slid in under the blanket. Edward turned over on his side, waking slightly. He threw his arm over her waist and pulled her to him. "Don't go," he murmured, slipping almost immediately back into slumber. Bella settled in against his warmth and drifted off again.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward watched Bella in the sunshine. She reclined on the deck of the boat, hair hanging in a shiny curtain down her back. The tiny black bikini barely covered her breasts and ass. She was laughing, smiling in his direction, and his breath caught in his throat. His heart hammered in his chest and his dick threatened to bust straight past the zipper in his jeans.

_Jeans. Why am I in jeans on a boat?_

He stalked toward Bella, intent on making her his, but the boat gave a huge roll as the sky darkened threateningly. Edward grabbed the railing as it rolled again, suddenly getting pummeled by waves. His stomach turned over unpleasantly and he tasted bile in his mouth. He searched the deck for Bella, but couldn't see her. The deck under him heaved again –

-- he sat bolt upright in the bed, chest heaving, cold sweat seeping from his skin. He was relieved that the boat was a dream, but the feeling in his stomach was not. Slipping from the bed, he took the three steps to the small bathroom, barely getting the door closed before he was leaning over the toilet, voiding the contents of his stomach.

Edward flushed and then stood at the sink, rinsing his mouth out with some of Bella's mouthwash. He let his mind roam over the events of the night before. _Bella's mouth, soft under his and tasting so sweet. The silky texture of skin at the valley between her breasts. Her soft cries as his mouth skimmed over one of her nipples._

But then, he had stopped it. He knew she was drunk. For that matter, he was pretty far gone too. It had definitely cost him; he thought he would explode from his need for her. However, the last thing he wanted was for their first time together to be rushed or forgettable. Edward ran his hand through his hair, trying to tame the rusty riot.

Opening the door as quietly as he could, he was surprised to see Bella's dark eyes open, heavy with sleep and watching him. He smiled and lay down beside her again. She snuggled up beside him, fitting herself into the curve of his arm.

"Good morning," he whispered, stroking his hand down her back. "How are you feeling?"

Bella laughed, tracing the strip of hair around his naval. "It was rough going earlier, but I'm okay now. My headache has faded to tolerable levels." Edward chuckled and leaned down to kiss her softly. They laid there in silence for a few minutes. Just as he thought that Bella had fallen back to sleep, she spoke again. "I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I don't really remember much after we got home last night. Did we…" Her voice trailed off.

"We didn't have sex. I'm not a big fan of not being able to remember being together." He sat up slightly, pulling her up so that she was facing him. He cupped her cheek in his palm, tracing a finger along her cheek. He kissed her softly, barely rubbing his lips against hers, before ghosting his mouth over her eyelids and the bridge of her nose. Bella's heart thundered in her chest as Edward continued to speak. "I promise you, Bella, when we do make love for the first time, you will remember it. I just want it to be special, because you matter to me. Okay?"

Bella nodded silently, lacing her fingers through his. Edward trailed kisses along the inside of her wrist, before glancing over at the clock and sighing. "I have to go," he murmured.

"Mmm-hmmm," Bella agreed, but took the opportunity to climb into his lap. His arms came up around her hips and he pulled her closer. She pressed into him, body tingling as she felt him swell between her thighs.

Bella kissed him, letting her tongue dance in his mouth, stroking his tongue and tracing his teeth. Momentarily breaking the kiss, she nibbled along his jaw and down his neck, nipping at his skin with her teeth before soothing with her tongue. Edward's hands roamed over her bare thighs before slipping under the silk lining of her sleep shorts.

He groaned, helpless to stop her and unable to remember why he would want to. Pulling Bella still closer, he pushed until she was on her back on the bed and he was hovering over her. She wrapped her legs around his waist as his mouth covered hers.

Silence filled the room, broken only by their jagged breathing. Edward slipped his hands under the hem of Bella's t-shirt and pushed it off over her head. He flattened himself against her, sucking lightly at the pulse point on her neck. Bella moaned as her heated skin came into contact with his bare chest. She writhed against him. His mouth found her breast, drawing the nipple lightly between his lips and rolling it in his mouth.

The shrill ringing of Edward's cell phone interrupted their interlude. He stilled, debating on answering or letting it go to voicemail, before letting his responsible side win. Bella's hands tightened reflexively on his shoulders as he shifted to grab it from the nightstand.

"Hello." He paused. "Yeah, Jasper, I'm on my way. No, I'm not. I'll be there soon." Edward clicked the phone off and let his head drop on to Bella's shoulder. He waited for his breathing to calm, before planting a quick kiss on her bare shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I really do have to leave." He pushed away from her and searched the floor for his shirt from the night before. Bella sat up and pulled her t-shirt back on, scooting to the edge of the bed.

Finishing with the last button, Edward pulled Bella up to stand in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her, sucking her bottom lip lightly. Bella ran her hands through his hair, tugging gently. He broke the kiss finally, but didn't pull away. Instead he rested his forehead against hers, dreading the moment he had to leave.

"Soon, sweetheart, soon we'll finish this." Edward promised, cupping her ass with his hands. He pulled away finally, leaving Bella standing in the middle of the floor, aching.

**** Le sigh. I know this chapter was short, but I had a computer virus this past week that pretty much killed my home computer. It was either post it at this length or make you all wait two weeks for the update.**

**And I know everybody's ready for them to just do it already. It is coming…very, very soon. Please just trust me that I have a plan for these two, okay? If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me via pm or in a review and I'll answer.**

**Please review. =) ** **


	9. Chapter 8

**** Once again, I don't own anything Twilight-related. That privilege belongs solely to Stephanie Meyers.**

**Thanks to everyone who has favorited, alerted, and most of all reviewed my story. I get warm fuzzies every time I get one of those notices in my email inbox. =)**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for yet another fantastic beta job. **

**Thanks again to ZephyrSky for letting me vent about archaic Internet conditions and for letting me bounce ideas off her. =) **

**Now to the good stuff. ****

Chapter 8

Every muscle in Edward's body ached. He threw himself down on the front step of Jasper's new home and wiped away the sweat that dripped down his face. He felt like shit. His head pounded, even though he had tried to stay hydrated in the oppressive heat that often accompanied August. His sweaty shirt stuck to his back and the alcohol he had consumed the night before seeped through his pores, making him nauseous from the smell. He wished he was still at Bella's, curled around her softness between the cool sheets on her bed.

From where he sat on the front steps, he could hear the clear trill of Alice's voice inside, answered quickly by Rose's honeyed melodic voice. He knew that they had designated themselves in charge of decorating the small trailer that Jasper now rented. He thought briefly of going inside to the air conditioning and collapsing on the couch, but knew that if either Rose or Alice saw him, he would be put straight to work. He opted instead to sit where he was, sunburned, sweaty, and all.

Emmett interrupted Edward's thoughts by flopping down next to him on the step and handing him an open beer. "Dude, how the fuck did we get suckered into this again?" Emmett took a long swallow of his own beer and swiped a hand over his sweaty face. Edward shook his head, letting the cool amber liquid slide down his throat. Emmett continued, "So, Jasper told me that you stayed at Bella's last night?"

Edward nodded once, digging into the front pocket of his jeans for his pack of cigarettes.

"Um, please tell me that your epic celibacy streak has finally reached its end?" Emmett clapped a giant hand down on Edward's shoulder. "You did get some of that right?"

Edward tried to refrain from snarling. This was typical Emmett and any other time it wouldn't have bothered him. He didn't really want to admit that it was bothering him now. "Em, I know we've known each other since we were ten, but, man, there are just some things that I don't want to share with you." Edward took a long drag of smoke, enjoying the small burn.

"Aw, come on, man, where's the love? I'm a married man! And now with Jasper all but shacked up with Alice, I need to live vicariously through you." Emmett laughed and punched Edward's shoulder lightly.

"Look, I'm trying really hard not to fuck this up. Bella's different. She's…important."

Emmett snorted, "Whatever dude. Can I just point out that you've only known her a couple of weeks and have, in fact, only been out on one date with her?" He elbowed Edward and grabbed his lit cigarette, checking the front windows to make sure Rosalie was otherwise occupied while he took a quick puff.

"Actually, we've had two dates. Look, Em, you can't say anything. You married Rosalie after only knowing her six months." Edward grabbed his cigarette back.

"True, I had to snap her up before she realized what a loser she was getting," Emmett joked as the screen door opened and then slammed shut behind them.

"Guess what, brother mine?" Alice sang, kneeling down behind Edward and resting her chin on his shoulder. Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand and pulled her down on his lap. "I just got off the phone with a certain lovely lady and she and I are going to lunch on Tuesday. Just us girls."

Edward leaned his head against hers. "Should I be worried that you're trying to steal my girl, baby sister?" He laughed with her, winking at Rose and Emmett. Alice shoved off him and danced out to the driveway as Jasper's truck pulled in to it.

"Nice. Dinner is served," Emmett crowed. He stood up, threw Rosalie over his shoulder, and trotted out to the truck. Jasper had pulled Alice to him and was kissing her soundly.

Edward only shook his head again and crushed his smoke out under his foot. He went to help carry pizza boxes, suddenly wishing that he had thought to invite Bella along.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Two weeks passed in a blissful haze for Bella. She had met Alice for lunch several times, started her next term of classes, gone to the clinic on campus for the STD testing that she had previously discussed with Edward, and every night she talked to him on the phone. Their conversations ranged anywhere from ten minutes to two hours and every time they hung up, she found herself falling a bit more in love with him. It was startling to realize that her solitary existence was no longer so solitary.

Thursday afternoon found Bella standing in line at the bookstore, trying to purchase the last book that she needed for the semester. Her cell phone began ringing just as she finished paying. She didn't recognize the number, but answered as she was walking out the door. To her surprise, it was the nurse from the clinic, who was happy to inform her that her tests had come back clean.

Bella had truly not been worried about her results, but she felt like skipping down the hall after she disconnected the call. A tiny flame of need flared in the pit of her stomach as the implications sunk in. She and Edward could finish what they'd started two weeks ago. They had been so careful about keeping their hormones in check, mainly seeing each other in group settings.

Checking her watch, Bella realized it was already 4:00. She knew that Edward would more than likely be leaving work soon, so she decided to text him.

_Need to see you. Can I come over?_

_-B_

His reply came seconds later.

_Absolutely. Off work in 30. Directions to follow._

_-E_

Bella raced back to her apartment. She brushed her teeth and sprayed on a short spray of perfume, which she hardly ever wore. Within twenty minutes she was following Edward's texted directions to his barracks building. She pulled in to the gravel parking lot across the street from his building and took a deep breath, hoping it would calm her. It didn't.

She got out, slamming the car door behind her and shoving her car keys into her jeans pocket. She raced across the street and up the two flights of stairs. Pausing a moment to catch her breath, she ran a hand through her hair before knocking on the door.

Edward swung open the door and the air whooshed out of Bella's chest at the sight of him. He had obviously not been home long. He was still clothed in his beige t-shirt and uniform pants, but he was barefoot and the top two buttons of his pants were undone. She smiled and then launched herself at him, kissing him hard.

Surprised, but grinning, Edward caught her as she curled her legs around his waist. He kicked the door closed behind her and stumbled back towards his room. Bella broke their kiss to say a breathless hello. Edward grinned at her and tossed her lightly on his bed.

"I don't know what brought this on, but I like it," he whispered, tracing his tongue along her collarbone. Need for her raged through him, but he tamped it down for the moment.

"The clinic called: everything's good," Bella managed to gasp, thrusting her hips against him, moaning at the feel of him, hard against her. She fumbled with his shirt, finally managing to pull it off him. His silver dog tags swung free and Edward tossed them behind his back impatiently. Bella pulled her own shirt over her head and slid out of her jeans.

Edward groaned at the sight of her, braless and naked on his bed. He let himself rest against her and licked his tongue over her nipple, causing Bella to writhe against him. Her hands fumbled at his waist until he lifted up enough to slide his pants and boxer briefs down to his ankles. Before he could say anything, Bella had wrapped her legs around his waist again and his cock was rubbing against her slick wetness. They both moaned at the contact. He stilled for a moment, needing to control his reaction, needing to know that she would be okay with this when it was over.

Bella opened her eyes when she realized he wasn't moving, only to find him watching her. His eyes asked for permission to continue and her heart fairly flew over the metaphorical cliff. "Please," she whispered, and moved her hips against him, seeking what she needed. Something unnamed flared in his eyes and he pressed his lips against hers before sliding exquisitely slow inside of her.

It was better than he had dared to dream. She was hot, wet, and so tight around him. Need and lust raged through him and he tried desperately to rein them both in, to keep control of his body and the situation. Bella moaned under him; her head was thrown back and her back arched up against him.

She twisted against him, thrusting her hips up into his, drawing him in and squeezing his waist with her thighs. He was lost in her and his control snapped. He pulled out, only to thrust forcefully back inside. Edward groaned, beads of sweat popping out on his forehead and the tendons in his arms flexing forcefully.

He thrust again and again, each time sheathing himself fully inside her. Bella moved underneath him, her hips meeting him thrust for thrust. She opened her eyes and watched him. His face was a study in concentration, his bottom lip caught in his teeth and his eyes screwed shut. She cupped his face in her hands until his eyes opened. He smiled when they met hers and she raised herself up to kiss him. His forehead rested against hers and their hips began to speed up.

Bella could feel the familiar tightening in her stomach that signaled her impending orgasm. She pulled Edward impossibly closer to her and licked her way along his jaw and down to his neck. She bit lightly into the crook of his neck and felt his rhythm stutter slightly. She came hard, moaning into his ear, her inner muscles squeezing him tightly.

"Christ, Bella," he groaned, slamming into her once and then twice more before he exploded inside her. They both collapsed back on the bed, Edward still over her. He rested his head against Bella's chest, listening to her heartbeat still pounding. He laughed suddenly. "That wasn't exactly the way I pictured our first time together. My pants are still around my ankles."

Bella giggled under him, floating on a wave of contentment. She ran her hands over his scalp and down his back, scraping her fingernails lightly against him. "We can do sweet and romantic another time." She laughed again and then groaned softly as she felt Edward withdraw. He rolled onto his back, but drew her with him so that she was curled up against his side. He kicked off his pants and underwear that were still tangled around his feet and pulled the sheet up to cover them both.

He yawned, his eyes heavy. Her hair tickled his chin and he took the opportunity to bury his nose in its silkiness. Bella's breath was soft and even against his chest and he realized she had fallen asleep. His heart swelled with an undefined emotion, as he ran his hand down her side, stroking her softly until he fell asleep.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

They were woken an hour later when the outside door of Edward's suite slammed shut. Edward jerked away from Bella and threw himself off the bed toward his interior door, slamming it shut and clicking the lock in place just as the handle turned.

"What the fuck, Cullen?" His roommate, Tyler, yelled from the small living area they shared. Bella smothered her laugh in the pillow. Edward grinned at her from the door and put a finger to his lips. Tyler continued. "Dude, I know you're in there! Hey, I just got the new Call of Duty. Get your ass out here and play!"

Edward pulled on some shorts and a t-shirt before crossing the room to kiss Bella softly. "I'll be right back," he whispered. He slipped out of the door, closing it firmly behind him.

Bella could hear their muffled conversation, but couldn't make out any words. She got up from the bed, pleasantly sore between her legs. Flashes of what had just happened with Edward scrolled through her mind and she could feel herself blush. She found her shorts, shirt, and underwear and dressed quickly, running her hand through her hair in an attempt to detangle it.

She turned as she heard Edward come back into the room. The living space behind him was quiet and she looked at him questioningly.

"Um, Tyler suddenly remembered something at the PX that he had forgotten." He grinned at Bella. "Sorry, I didn't know how comfortable you would be with him here." She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around his waist, lifting up on her toes to kiss him.

"It's okay. I need to get going anyway. I'm working the late shift tonight at the diner."

Edward smoothed her hair back before cupping her face in his hands. He kissed her eyelids and the tip of her nose before letting his mouth meet hers. He kissed her slowly, languidly, with no intentions other than enjoying the contact. His thumbs caressed her cheeks and Bella thought her heart would burst from the sweetness of the moment.

He rested his forehead against hers, reveling in the silence of his room and the feel of her breath against him. Finally, he pulled back to look at her.

"Bella, I know we didn't make plans for this weekend, but I do want to see you, if that's okay." Bella smiled and nodded, slipping her hands under the hem of his shirt to rest on the small of his back. "I have something Saturday morning, but then I'm free Saturday evening. Will you go to dinner with me?"

"Of course, Edward. I'd love to." She sighed and started to pull away, but he stopped her, his hands on her shoulders.

"I have an idea. I know Alice is going to come out to see us jump Saturday morning. Why don't you come with her?" Bella's eyes narrowed.

"Wait. The 'something' you have on Saturday morning is a jump? Like from a perfectly good airplane? You're asking me to watch you plummet towards the ground while I stand by helplessly?" Edward barked out a laugh.

"It really is safe, sweetheart. It would mean a lot to me if you were there. I'm told it's kind of cool to watch." He kissed her again, attempting to soothe her.

"Okay, fine," she responded. "I'll call Alice tomorrow and make plans. Do me a favor and double-check your 'chute before you get on the plane," Bella grinned up at Edward and he laughed again.

"Agreed."

He threaded his fingers through Bella's and followed her to the outer door. When she turned to face him again, he pushed her back until she was against it. He leaned in and ran his nose along the curve of her neck.

"At the risk of sounding cheesy, or scaring you," he began, his voice soft. "I'm going to miss you. Will you call me tonight when you get home from work?"

Bella's heart skipped a beat at his words. She squeezed him to her momentarily before nodding. "Of course. And….yeah, I'll miss you too." They grinned at each other before kissing once more. Bella slipped out of the door and walked slowly down the hall. She turned at the stairwell and looked back, unsurprised to find him in his doorway watching her leave. He smiled and raised his hand in a wave. She waved back and then skipped down the stairs.

**A/N Ummm, I think dog tags and Call of Duty are fairly obvious, yes? If you have questions, please feel free to PM me or leave it in the review. You know, the one you're all going to leave? ;)**


	10. Chapter 9

**** I don't own Twilight. I do own a beagle that likes to lie across the computer on my lap when I write.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for another fabulous beta job. =)**

**Thanks to ZephyrSky for being a sounding board for me. Love your face, bb!**

**And a special thanks to the ladies in the LTT Flat chat room who kept me giggling about alternative names for sex organs.**

**Now, on to the good stuff. =) ****

Chapter 9

Bella sat on the hard ground, her hand clasped with Alice's hand. Rosalie sat silently on Alice's other side. The three of them watched the empty sky above them. Alice's lips were moving silently, but Bella wasn't sure if the other girl was chanting or praying. She giggled nervously and the other two turned to stare at her.

"We're a mess! I thought you two have been through this before?" She demanded. Rosalie grinned, but turned back to watch the sky again without answering. Alice sighed.

"They don't always invite the families out to watch. And, well, let's just say it's very different….knowing that he's jumping out of an airplane and actually watching him doing it." Alice shuddered slightly. "I keep seeing the most horrible scenes playing out in my head."

"But we agreed you're not going to say them out loud, right?" Rosalie demanded, her voice bordering on the edge of hysteria, grabbing Alice's free hand. "It's bad luck, Alice. It's inviting trouble."

"I know, I know. I wouldn't dream of saying them out loud, but that doesn't stop my internal movie reel."

"Do people get hurt on these jumps a lot?" Bella asked quietly, not sure that she really wanted to know the answer while she was still waiting for Edward to make it down safely.

Rosalie answered without taking her eyes off the sky. "Most jump injuries are from repetitive hard landings. Damage to the joints builds up over time. But sometimes…well, sometimes the worst happens." She shuddered delicately, but refused to elaborate further.

Just then an excited murmur went up from the handful of other family members gathered around them. Bella looked up and shaded her eyes from the bright morning sun.

"Oh my God. They're so far up," she whispered, awed as she watched the first parachutes fly from the back of the C-17. "Do we know which plane the guys are jumping from?" She asked her question without taking her eyes off the fifteen parachutes already in the air, wafting their way towards the ground.

"No, they weren't given their assignments until they showed up at the hangar." Rose answered, lifting a set of binoculars to her face to see if she could see any details.

The second plane went over and started dropping troopers out of the back. Bella could feel her breath catch every time it looked like there was a delay between when the body flew out of the back of the airplane and when the parachute opened. She had no idea which one was Edward; right now she felt like they all were.

The third plane flew over and the routine was repeated again. When the last parachute opened, Rosalie lowered her binoculars and turned to Bella and Alice.

"Well, that's it. Now we just wait for them to run back in from the drop zone." She wound the neck strap back around the binoculars and slid them into their carrying case.

The mood shifted and turned awkward. Bella toyed with her water bottle, intent on ignoring the pointed looks that Alice kept sending Rosalie. She wondered how long it would take before Edward made it back. She looked up as Rosalie cleared her throat. The other girl was blushing and twirling a lock of blond hair around her index finger.

"Um, Bella," she began, looking sideways at Alice before focusing on Bella. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior that first night at The Cellar. I was incredibly rude and I'm sorry." She blinked and looked back down at her lap.

Bella reached across Alice and touched Rosalie's hand.

"It's okay, Rosalie. You were just having a bad night. Everybody's bitchy sometimes." She smiled and Rosalie gave her a slightly watery smile back.

"Awww…I'm so glad you guys can get along!" Alice exclaimed, throwing her arms around both of them and pulling them to her for a hug.

"Ali, you're choking me!" Rosalie gasped, giggling. Bella laughed and wrapped an arm around Alice's waist. The people around them began to stand and cheer as the first troopers came jogging in from the drop zone.

The girls stood and began to clap as well. Then it was just a waiting game as the men and women trickled by in small groups of twos or threes. It was close to half an hour later before Alice let out a small shriek and began to jump up and down. She had just spotted Edward and Jasper trotting closer, their packs held in front of them, the lines from the parachutes trailing the ground behind them.

Jasper elbowed Edward when he saw the girls waiting. Edward caught Bella's eye and grinned at her, winking. He was breathing heavily and sweat trickled down the sides of his face. Bella's hands twitched as she longed to reach out and grab him. Seeing him in uniform brought back crystal clear memories of the afternoon before and her stomach twisted in pleasant knots.

"Be right back," he called out to her as they ran by. Jasper smiled and waved to Alice around his pack.

It wasn't too much longer before Emmett was approaching them. His face was red and he too was sweating, but he was also smiling and winked at Rosalie as he jogged by them.

Bella, Alice, and Rosalie turned and began gathering up the belongings they had brought to the field with them. It was approaching ten in the morning and the sun was beginning to beat down mercilessly. They moved back to wait under the shade of a large tree, but even there the heat was incredible.

Bella swiped her hand under the hair she had gathered into a ponytail and grimaced when it came away sweaty.

"I wish I'd brought one of those wet cloth things," she grumbled, fanning her flushed cheeks.

"But then you wouldn't smell so sweet." Edward spoke in her ear, his body suddenly pressed firmly up against hers. She gasped and leaned back into him, her nipples hardening as his mouth lightly caressed the side of her neck. She shivered despite the heat and he chuckled softly.

"God, you two, get a room," Jasper groaned, tossing his bag on the ground and swinging Alice up into his arms. She laughed and kissed him with a loud smacking noise. They loaded his and Edward's bags into the back of Edward's car and then stood around chatting until Emmett approached.

Edward pulled Bella in close and kissed her softly.

"Hi," he whispered, tracing his thumb along her bottom lip.

"Hi," she whispered back. Bella leaned in close and rested her forehead against his chest, tilting her head so that her face rested in the crook of his neck. She breathed him in; his warmth and his smell, so natural and right, almost overwhelmed her. She sighed softly and kissed the spot where his neck and collarbone met. He shuddered slightly.

Bella pulled away and looked at Edward intently. He could only stare back, in awe of the curve of her cheek and the sweetness of her smile. He felt vaguely like he had never truly looked at her before.

"Alice is going to give you a ride back to your place. Jasper and I need to head back to the company and then I'm going to go back to my room and get cleaned up," Edward said softly, his voice rough. He tried clearing it. "Do you have plans this afternoon?"

"Not really," Bella slid her hand into his. "I've already got a paper I need to start working on, but I'll be at my place. You can come over whenever you want." She smiled as he pulled her close again and kissed her.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The August heat was formidable in her apartment when Bella returned. She walked through the small space, closing the curtains to block out the sun and cranking up the small window air conditioning unit to high. She stripped as she walked to the bathroom to take a shower, turning the water as cool as she could stand it.

She stepped into the tub, pulling the shower curtain behind her, and letting the cooling spray wash over her face and down her body. She washed and conditioned her hair then scrubbed her body with her favorite ginger body wash and a loofah. She ran it over her breasts and shivered as she remembered the feel of Edward's hands the day before.

Bella stilled as she heard something in the apartment. She rinsed quickly and turned off the water, grabbing an extra large towel off the rack and wrapping it around her.

Someone was knocking on her door. Dripping, she ran to the door and pulled it open slightly. Edward grinned at her from the other side, but his eyes darkened as he took in her state of undress. Bella flung the door open so he could enter.

"I hope it's okay that I came over so soon," he said, stepping inside as Bella moved to allow him access. "I was thinking I could just hang out while you worked on your paper." He slid his fingers lightly along Bella's shoulder as she closed the door behind him.

"Of course it's okay. I really do need to work on my paper though. Are you sure you won't be bored?"

Edward didn't respond. He was already hard and aching for her; his heart pounded in his chest. He watched as a small drop of water made its way down her neck and paused at the hollow that her collarbone created. Groaning slightly and losing the battle he was waging not to distract her from what she needed to do, he leaned down and licked that one small drop. Bella's eyes widened and she gasped softly.

"I was going to try not to distract you," Edward whispered, weaving his hands into her wet hair. "But now I can't remember why that was a good idea." He leaned down and kissed Bella, pulling her to him roughly. She could already feel the hard length of him through his jeans. He scooped her up and stepped over to her bed, laying her down gently.

Bella watched as Edward pulled his shirt over his head, his lean torso twisting with the motions. She sat up, ran her fingertips along the V-shaped muscle at his hip, and kissed his stomach softly. Grinning wickedly up at him, she traced her tongue along the same path her fingertips had traveled moments ago. Edward shuddered, but cupped her chin in his hand and pulled her away.

"Not so fast, angel." He pushed her gently back on to the bed and lay down beside her. Their first time had been wonderful, but so rushed. He wanted more than anything to worship the woman lying beside him. He ran his fingertips over Bella's face, skimming over her closed eyes and her nose as if he were committing them to memory. He outlined her mouth before planting small kisses at the corners and then nibbling at her bottom lip.

Edward pulled away and Bella groaned in frustration. He laughed softly, but whispered, "Lay back, sweetheart." He pulled her left hand to his mouth, kissing the tip of each finger gently. Then he placed one soft, open-mouth kiss on the palm of her hand. Edward then turned her hand over and lightly scraped his teeth over her knuckles and placed another warm kiss on the back of her hand. He trailed his mouth along the inside of her forearm, planting one more open-mouth kiss on the inside of her elbow before skimming his mouth along her bicep to her shoulder.

"God, Bella, you taste incredible." He groaned, brushing his lips along her collarbone, up the curve of her neck, stopping once to suck lightly at the spot where her pulse pounded under her skin. Edward grazed his nose along Bella's jaw to her ear, darting his tongue out to lick the whorl.

Bella wondered if it was possible to drown on dry land. Her heart pounded in her chest and her breath came in short gasps. He was surely killing her with his mouth. She was amazed that she hadn't simply combusted under him. Even now he was pulling back, his eyes dark, the muscles under the inked skin on his biceps trembling with the tight rein he had on his self-control. He lifted her right hand and began the same treatment on the other side of her body. It was the sweetest kind of torture. She longed to freeze each moment so that she could remember the feel of his mouth on each inch of her skin, but at the same time impatience raged through her.

He tugged at the tie on her towel with his teeth, growling playfully. Bella giggled and ran her hands over his hair. Edward let the towel fall away and moaned softly at her body beneath him. He found himself slightly stunned that he was here with her. That it was he who had the privilege of being with her like this.

Maintaining eye contact, Edward leaned back down and slid his tongue along the curve of her breast. He circled her nipple before pulling it between his lips and sucking gently. Bella cried out, need coiling in her stomach. His mouth was relentless, moving from one breast to the other, driving her higher and higher.

When his hand finally parted her folds and his fingertips brushed her clit, Bella exploded under him, her back arching up off the bed and a guttural gasping groan escaping her throat. Edward watched in veneration as she came apart. He ached to plunge inside of her, to make her his again. He struggled to retain control, but his cock ached and chafed in his jeans and she was so hot, so wet.

Bella shifted under him, running her hands up his arms and pulling him down to her forcefully. She crushed his lips to hers and plunged her tongue into his mouth. She reached between them and popped the button on his jeans open. Edward groaned against her mouth.

"Edward, I need you now." Bella gasped, biting her way along his jaw to his ear. With those words, any control he had was shattered. He pulled away long enough to push his jeans off and away, followed quickly by his black boxer-briefs. He stroked himself twice and then hovered back over Bella again. She wrapped her legs around his waist and urged him closer with her heels. They both sighed as his cock sank into her softness.

"God, Bella, angel, so good," Edward moaned. He captured her mouth with his and began to thrust with his hips, pulling almost completely out before plunging back. Bella touched him wherever she could, hands running down his back, mouth biting the skin on his shoulders.

Edward pulled away, but hooked his hands under Bella's knees, spreading her open before him. He strained to control his release and maintain the position, causing the tendons in his neck and arms to pop up under his skin.

Bella's hips began to thrust up to meet his as another orgasm built. This time she came with a keening wail. Edward could no longer hold back and shouted his release with his jaw clenched. He released Bella's legs and collapsed on top of her.

Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's shoulders and her trembling legs around his waist. She was feeling a little crushed under his weight, but there was no way that she wanted him to move. She felt safe, loved, and sated. She whimpered slightly as Edward rolled off her, but he immediately pulled her back up against him.

He stroked his hand over her hair and down her back. Tilting her chin up, he kissed her softly. "Thank you," he whispered, smiling at her. She propped her chin on his chest and gazed at him.

"You totally distracted me from that paper I'm supposed to be writing." She laughed softly at the guilty look on his face. "And now I'm going to have to take another shower." Her eyes glinted wickedly as she climbed over Edward and off the bed. His eyes followed her, need for her already building again in his belly. To his surprise, she wrapped her hands around one of his and pulled. Grinning, she asked, "Why don't you join me?" Edward smiled and followed her into the tiny bathroom.

**A/N Le sigh. I adore these two.**

**I hope everyone's as willing to forgive Rose as Bella is. She's trying.**

**C-17s are the big ass planes that the Air Force flies to transport equipment and troops. Little note of interest, you can see some from the AF base I live near in the second Transformers movie.**

**Leave me some love? =)**


	11. Chapter 10

**** We all know I don't own anything related to Twilight. That privilege belongs solely to Ms. Meyers.**

**Thanks once again to my favorite vegan, herinfiniteeyes, for an awesome beta job. **

**This chapter is for LightInNight, who won my little contest a few chapters ago. She gave me some great ideas to work with for the date night.**

**Thanks to all of you who have put me and this story on your alerts and favorites. A big thank you to who take the time to review. Every single one makes me smile and makes me work a little harder to make this something worth reading.**

**Please see the end A/N for some very important information! =) ****

Chapter 10

The air conditioner was fighting a losing battle with the heat in the apartment. Edward reclined on the bed, watching Bella through half-closed eyes over the top of the magazine he was pretending to read. She was much more interesting, curled up on the couch in shorts and his white undershirt. Her hair was pulled up in a complicated twist on her head, biting her lip, and wearing reading glasses.

He hadn't known she needed reading glasses.

This girl fascinated him more and more. She seemed equal parts softness and strength. She surprised him constantly, challenged him mentally, and turned him on physically. Even now he had to force himself to stay on the bed, across the room, letting her work on her homework. What he really wanted was to feel her legs wrapped around him again. There had been another round of incredible sex in the shower, much to his amazement. He shook the memory off quickly before his body responded.

"Bella," Edward said softly, grinning a little when she jumped.

"God, I thought you were asleep." She gasped, pressing a hand to her chest, but smiling at him. Bella set her notebook on the couch beside her and removed her glasses. She stood and ran across the room, landing with a thud on the bed next to Edward. She curled up beside him, resting her chin on his chest. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," he whispered back, stroking a hand down her back. "So I was thinking we should get going soon. We have somewhere to be at nine and I wanted to grab some dinner first." He glanced over at the clock. "Can you be ready in thirty?"

Bella arched an eyebrow up at him and then rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease. I can be ready in less than that." Edward laughed and kissed her quickly before she pushed off him and stepped into the bathroom.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

True to her word, Bella was ready within the half hour. Exactly twenty-seven minutes later she was standing in front of her door, tapping her foot impatiently as Edward laughed and shoved his spare shirt in his backpack. Luckily he planned ahead and had brought a shirt to change into for their date. He waited for her to lock her door and then followed her downstairs.

"I have a special surprise in store for you," Edward mentioned, opening the passenger door and guiding her in with his hand on the small of her back. He slid into the driver's seat and Bella studied his profile.

"Let me guess. You're not going to tell me."

"Nope." Edward grinned and brought her hand to his mouth for a gentle kiss.

He drove a little out of town and pulled into a small, fairly run-down drive in. Bella peered skeptically through her window, eyeing the peeling paint on the side of the building and the cracks in the foundation. She could see the Health Department score posted proudly in the glass door where servers on old-fashioned roller skates wheeled in and out, carrying trays high over their shoulders.

"Wow, Edward, you take me to the nicest places," she cracked, turning and winking at him. He had unbuckled his seatbelt and rolled his window all the way down. He barked out a laugh before answering.

"True, I could have taken you to a fancy restaurant and I will sometime. But this place has the best burgers and milkshakes." Edward leaned toward Bella and surprised her by unbuckling her seatbelt. She let out a small squeak of surprise when he grasped her by the arm and slid her across the bench seat until she was pressed up against him. "Plus in a fancy restaurant, we couldn't make out like teenagers."

Bella's heart began to pound in her chest as Edward lowered his mouth to hers, rubbing softly. She leaned in to him, molding her body to his and parted her lips, darting her tongue out to trace his lips. He opened his mouth with a small groan, using his tongue to massage hers.

There was a small cough behind Edward, through his open window. He broke away from Bella and glared over his shoulder. A pretty teenage girl with long blonde hair grinned at him.

"Hi! Welcome to Spanky's! Can I take your order?" She bubbled, pen and pad of paper at the ready.

"Um, yeah. Let me get your deluxe burger and a large chocolate shake." Edward looked over at Bella, who nodded. "Make that two of both." He smiled at the young waitress who looked a little stunned, but grinned and skated off into the tiny kitchen building.

"Now where were we?" Edward turned back to Bella. He slung his arm along the back of the seat and used his other hand to cup her cheek. He watched her with heavy-lidded eyes as his thumb stroked along her cheekbone. Bella wound her arms around his waist. He kissed her once, then again. "Bella, I hope you know how special you are to me." She blushed, the color spreading under his thumb. It made him smile.

"Thank you, Edward. You're special to me too." Bella reached up and kissed him, slipping her hands up under the hem of his shirt. His skin was warm under her hands. She smiled, the butterflies in her stomach taking flight. After a few minutes of his mouth on hers, Edward eased back.

"Are you aware that Labor Day weekend is coming up next week?" He let his hand come to rest on her knee, tracing tiny patterns on the bare skin.

"I was aware of that. It's when my job at the café ends." Bella answered, laying her head on Edward's shoulder. There was quiet for a minute while Edward gathered his courage.

"Every year that we're in the area, we go to my parent's place down at the beach. They usually have fireworks and we always have a cookout." Bella nodded to show she was listening. Edward continued. "Emmett and Rosalie are going, of course. And this year, Alice is bringing Jasper." There was another pause. "Would you come with me? I mean, you don't have to, but I'd really like it if you could." He wouldn't look at her, a faint flush spreading across his impossibly beautiful cheekbones. He watched his hand on her knee instead.

Bella grinned and ran one hand back around his body and up his chest until it rested against his face. She pulled him to face her and finally he looked at her, smiling when he saw the pleased look on her face. "Edward, I would love to join you guys. As long as you're sure I wouldn't be putting your parents out."

"Not at all. They love having us all there." Edward kissed her again, lips soft against hers. "Hey, this is the first you've mentioned your job ending. What happened?"

"Nothing. I don't work during the school year since I usually carry a pretty heavy load."

Just then the pretty young server skated back up to the car with their food carried high over her head. She hooked the tray on the side of the window and took the cash that Edward offered her. She gave him his change and skated off, turning once to give him a little wink. Bella laughed loudly and teased him about it while they ate.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Having eaten their dinner, Bella slid back to her side of the seat and buckled her seatbelt again. Edward drove back across town, holding her hand the whole way. He pulled into the parking lot of the old library and Bella looked around confused.

"Um, what are we doing?"

Edward just grinned at her. "You'll see." He slid out of the driver's seat and walked around to open Bella's door. "Follow me." He grabbed a blanket from the backseat and then laced his fingers through Bella's.

He walked them through the parking lot and around the next building. To Bella's surprise, as they turned the corner, the space opened up into a large grassy park area. It was filled with people, most of them couples, though there were some children running around. She now understood what the blanket was for, even if she didn't totally understand what was going on.

"Looks like we're just in time," Edward said softly, his breath tickling her ear. They found a spot to the rear of the crowd. He spread the blanket he carried and let Bella settle before he sat behind her, pulling her back to rest against his chest.

"Oh! My favorite!" Bella exclaimed as the first opening credits of Breakfast at Tiffany's rolled across the back of the building in front of them. "How have I lived here for so long and not known they did these back here?" Edward chuckled behind her and the sound vibrated pleasantly through her chest.

The movie played on, but Edward found himself distracted by Bella's softness on his lap. Her hair tickled his chin and he could hear her humming along with the movie in the back of her throat. He was grateful for the dark and the fact that where they sat was fairly secluded from the rest of the crowd.

He tried very hard to just let Bella enjoy the movie, but her hands were absentmindedly stroking his thighs through his jeans and tension was building in his groin. He could feel himself hardening underneath her. Edward wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, resting his chin on her shoulder, content in the moment to not grind against her.

Bella could not remember the last time she felt so peaceful. Edward's warmth surrounded her, his unique smell of tobacco and sunshine complemented by the scent of the grass and the vendor popping popcorn farther up on the field. His chin rested on her shoulder and she rested her face against his. She felt light as air, like she could float inches above the ground.

Something about the feeling felt familiar. Her eyes closed, she assessed different areas of her body. Stomach, harboring butterflies. Heart, beating double time. Fingers, caressing Edward's denim covered thighs. Mind, clear. Mouth, smiling.

_Oh dear God._

Love. It was so wonderfully complex and heartbreakingly simple, all at the same time. She loved him.

Bella spent the rest of the movie folded into Edward's body, love for him threatening to choke her. Even as they stood and stretched, she could only stare into space. Edward folded the blanket, watching her quizzically the whole time. Her face was a smooth mask, but her eyes were torrents of emotion. He draped his arm around her shoulder and they walked quietly back to the car.

"Did you enjoy the movie?" He asked finally, once they were in the car.

"Hmmm?" Bella looked over at him and smiled vacantly, like she had just remembered he was there. "Oh yes. I did. Very much." She turned back to her window and Edward frowned. He couldn't understand her change in mood.

Finally they were back at her apartment and he walked Bella back to her door. Once again, the silence was overwhelming, tension thick in the air.

"So can I call you tomorrow?" He asked as she unlocked her door.

"What?" Bella finally focused on him and frowned. "I thought you would stay." She stepped inside and tossed her keys on the scarred three-legged table by the door, which threatened to tip over with the weight. Turning, she realized that he had stopped in the doorway.

"I don't know." Edward was looking everywhere, except at her. "I kind of got the feeling that maybe I had overstayed my welcome." He stared at the ground, his brow furrowed.

Bella realized how quiet she had been towards the end of the evening. Smiling softly, she walked back and stood in front of Edward. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. He held himself stiffly for a moment, but when she didn't back away, his arms came around her and he pressed his lips to the top of her head.

He sighed as Bella reached up and pressed her lips to his.

"Please stay." She whispered. "I would really like it if you would."

Edward smiled and walked with her back into her apartment.

**** A/N LightInNight, I hope you liked the date. Heck, I hope *all* of you liked the date. =)**

**So my big announcement, I'm going to be submitting a couple of one-shots for the "For the Love of Jasper" contest. I'm doing one solo one-shot and I'm doing a collaboration with my girl, ZephyerSky. Please put me on author alert so you'll know when they're published (hint: I'm publishing my solo one today!). **

**Don't forget to leave me some love if you enjoyed this chapter! =) ****


	12. Chapter 11

**** Stephenie Meyers owns everything Twilight related. I own a tacky bumper sticker that reads 'My other ride wears combat boots' and a coffee cup that reads 'Hug a military wife or buy her liquor.' =)**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for beta-ing.**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for putting up with my whining and for letting me share her brain.**

**Please see A/N at the end for some important information. ****

Chapter 11

The waves rolled in and back out again. The warm salt water sucked the sand out from under her feet, making her unsteady. The early morning sun peeked over the horizon and Bella wrapped her light sweater closer around her against the cool breeze from the water. She took a deep breath, reveling in the burgeoning sun and the small sting of the salty air.

For some reason she had been surprised when they were required to stop at a guard gate before entering the Cullen's neighborhood. She was shocked when Emmett's Suburban had parked in the driveway of the elegantly graceful two-story home that Edward's parents owned. But this morning, when she woke and stepped out on the back porch in the early morning light, she was speechless with awe at her first sight of the Cullen's backyard.

The golden-white expanse of sand stretched for miles in each direction, uninterrupted by anything other than private homes. Seagulls called out to each other as they dove into the shallow water just off the shore. The sand shifted under her feet again and she stumbled slightly as she readjusted her weight.

Her life was as unsteady as that sand now. She was in love, but she didn't know what to do about it. Bella wasn't sure what Edward wanted or how he felt. A week ago, he declared that she was special to him, but there was almost no time during the week for them to be together and he had made no similar declarations since then.

A solitary tear tracked down her cheek and she wiped it away impatiently. She would do what she had always done. She would deal with it as it happened. As scared as she was, if he left, if he didn't love her, she would survive it. It was simply what she did.

Bella heard a low groan behind her and turned to see Rosalie stumbling across the loose sand, blond hair flying wildly in the breeze, dark sunglasses hiding her blue eyes. She huffed once as she found her balance on the firm, wet sand and pulled the blanket she was wearing around her shoulders a little tighter.

"Please tell me you have a reason for being up and out here before the sun even fully rises." Rose groused. She turned to study Bella for a moment, her sharp eyes spotting the lone tear track down the girl's cheek. She sighed to herself and then turned back to the sea. "I love it here," she continued without waiting for a response from Bella. "It always puts my problems in perspective when I think about how many creatures are out there. How deep the sea really is. How timeless the rhythm of the waves is on the sand."

Bella stared, not used to the introspective side of Rosalie. It was possible that this was the most that they had ever spoken without someone there to mediate. She smiled, but didn't comment. They stood in companionable silence for several minutes.

"Bella, I'm fully aware that Edward thinks I don't like him. And truthfully there are times that I don't. But Emmett loves him like family, which makes him family to me." Rosalie paused, searching for the words to convey her meaning. "I know you're in love with him."

"Rosalie, I don't – " Bella tried to interrupt, but stopped when Rose linked their arms and continued like Bella had not said anything.

"Don't try to deny it. I see the way you look at him, the way you two gravitate toward each other like there's some kind of magnetic pull between you."

Bella could feel herself blushing. Rosalie continued. "The truth is I love Edward because Emmett loves him. But I like to think that you and I are friends. Or are at least on our way to becoming friends. And I feel like I should warn you. It isn't easy to love a soldier. It's a little like being the mistress to a married man, although I myself have no personal experience with that particular situation."

She and Bella both laughed. Rose pushed her sunglasses on top of her head in an attempt to tame her hair. Bella could see the haunted look on her face and squeezed her hand.

"When you're married to a soldier, you will never be first to him. You'll eat many dinners by yourself, sleep in cold beds by yourself, and rarely be able to plan vacations with more than a few weeks notice. There will always be something more important than you as long as he stays in the Army. Oh, he'll tell you that's not the case and he'll truly mean it, but the reality is, it's part of the job, especially if he makes it a career. And well, I just want you to go into it with eyes wide open, okay?"

Bella could only stare at Rosalie and nod.

"Good, I'm glad we had this talk." Bella wondered dazedly when she had actually spoken. Rose unlinked their arms and clapped her hands together. "I think I heard Esme stirring as I was coming outside. I'm going to head in and help with breakfast. Are you coming?" With that, Rosalie slipped her sunglasses back on and began to make her way back up to the house. With one last stunned glance at the horizon, Bella turned and followed her.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward captured Bella's hand as she and Rosalie made their way into the kitchen where some of the others had begun to gather.

"Hey, we got in late and I didn't get a chance to give you the tour," he said softly, turning her from the kitchen and leading her back down the hallway.

The house had enchanted Bella when they arrived the night before, but it was nothing compared to how she felt looking around in the daylight. Every room was artfully and tastefully decorated. They were painted in cool shades of blues, greens, and sandy beiges. There were light-colored hardwood floors throughout and every window displayed a stunning view.

Edward led her from room to room until finally they reached the open-air porch on the second floor. Bella leaned out over the railing facing the ocean. Edward leaned against her, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"You know, sweetheart, I think there's something you don't know about me." He whispered, his lips barely brushing her ear.

"Oh really? What's that?" She whispered back, leaning back into him.

"I'm afraid of heights. I need to hold on to something other than the railing…" Edward's words trailed off as his hands traveled up her abdomen until they cupped Bella's breasts. She giggled and felt Edward smile against her skin. "No really. I'm completely terrified right now."

"Wow, that line was so cheesy, it almost worked." Bella teased, her voice coming out breathy despite her teasing words. Edward trailed feathery kisses down the side of her neck.

"Almost worked? Mmmm. You smell good." His voice was soft and gravelly.

Just then Alice called from the back deck below them to let them know breakfast was ready. Edward groaned.

"She has the worst timing." Bella laughed again and let Edward lead her back through the house to join the others.

They sat out on the back deck in the now warm sunshine. Esme had prepared a quiche and supplemented it with cut strawberries and apple-cinnamon muffins. Everyone took their seats around the large table with Carlisle at the head of the table and Esme at the other end.

Bella quietly watched the antics around the table. She was beginning to pick up on tense feelings between Edward and Carlisle, but she wasn't sure what started it. Edward was starting to brood and had stopped eating, only picking his muffin apart irritably. Carlisle watched him intently while Esme's eyes flitted back and forth between the two of them. Bella's stomach began to churn nervously as she noticed that Alice's laughter began to sound forced and Emmett's jokes were coming slower and slower. Rose's head was down, watching her plate and Jasper just continued to stroke Alice's shoulder comfortingly.

_What the hell is wrong with everybody?_ Bella found herself wondering.

She got her answer moments later when Emmett's jokes ran out and an awkward silence descended on the table. Carlisle took the moment to pounce.

"So Edward, I heard from my friend, Felix Salvatore, the other day." He paused and took a drink from his coffee cup. Bella's head swiveled to look at Edward who had let his fork fall to his plate with a clatter. His jaw was clenched tighter than she had ever seen it.

Nobody said anything.

"He assures me that he could get you a spot at Duke University. It isn't Ivy League, but considering that you've been out of school so long, it's the best we can hope for." Carlisle set his coffee cup down. Again, nobody said anything. All eyes ricocheted back and forth between Edward and Carlisle. "Well, aren't you going to say anything?"

Finally Edward spoke, his voice soft. "Please tell him thanks, but no thanks."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed. "Really, Edward. When are you going to give up this foolishness?"

Bella noticed that Emmett's mouth was now compressed into a thin line and Rose's hand rested on his forearm. She could hear Alice sigh across the table. Her own eyes wide, Bella turned to see Edward's eyes had darkened stormily and his nostrils flared as he attempted to rein in his temper.

"Really, Father. What foolishness would you be talking about?"

"Carlisle, Edward, please," Esme interrupted, pleading.

"Boy, you know you're wasting your potential with this ridiculous hero complex you have. Medical school is still an option, but it won't be for much longer!"

"Tell me, Carlisle." All pretense at politeness disappeared as Edward turned to look at his father. "What bothers you more, the fact that I'm doing what I want or that you didn't choose it for me? Or is it the fact that you can't brag to all of your friends about your son, the doctor?" Digging in his shirt pocket, Edward removed his pack of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling deeply and exhaling through his nose, never removing his eyes from Carlisle's.

Bella watched, fascinated. She hadn't realized that tensions ran so deep between the two men.

Carlisle flung his napkin down onto the table furiously and roared, "DON'T YOU SMOKE THOSE FILTHY THINGS IN MY HOUSE AT MY TABLE!"

Bella jumped, but Edward only smirked. Taking one last inhale, he extinguished it in the untouched slice of quiche on his plate. Esme gasped and stood up so quickly that her chair fell over behind her. Tears streaming down her cheeks, she picked up her plate and Edward's and raced into the house.

"Damn it, Edward. She worked on that all morning." Emmett whispered, laying his napkin on top of the table and making to stand and go after Esme. Edward looked ashamed and stood, motioning for Emmett to sit back down.

"I'll go. **Somebody** should apologize." He glared at Carlisle again and followed his mother into the house.

Bella stared at her hands when Carlisle cursed loudly and stormed off around the house. She could hear Edward's smooth voice coming from inside and finally heard the tinkle of Esme's laughter.

Rose sighed from across the table. "Looks like breakfast is over." She stood and began to gather plates. The others stood quickly and began to help her.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

That evening Edward and Bella left the others early and retreated to their bedroom. They were both tired from the day. First there was the drama at breakfast and then they spent the day on the beach with their friends.

Bella yawned and stretched before curling around Edward's body. He looped his arm around her easily and stroked her hair. The windows were thrown open to let to breeze from the ocean waft through the room. Outside the sun was just setting, the light changing quickly from gold to pink before going out.

Under his breath, Edward hummed a tune that Bella didn't recognize. She stroked her hand over his bare abdomen, letting the moment sink into her bones.

"I have a new favorite memory," she said suddenly, turning her head slightly to face him. He cracked his eyes open and looked at her from under his lashes.

"Oh really? And what new memory would that be?" His voice was husky with sleep.

"It would definitely be the image of you chasing Emmett down the beach with your trunks around your knees after he jerked them down." She giggled at the recollection.

"Oh, you're going to pay for that, Swan!" Suddenly wide awake, Edward rolled her over and straddled her, tickling her ribs until she kicked her feet against the bed and begged for mercy, crying with laughter.

Outside, the moon was hanging heavy over the water, bathing the room in its white light. The mood changed suddenly as Edward's hands transformed from torturing to soothing, stroking Bella's sides softly. Her laughter died away, but she continued to smile up at him.

Her dark hair spread out over the stark white pillowcase. Her brown eyes shone up at him, trusting and affectionate. His hands rested under the t-shirt that she had stolen from him weeks ago that she kept as a nightshirt.

In that moment, Edward doubted that he had ever seen anything or anyone more beautiful. He knew then that he loved her, more than he could possibly have imagined.

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "Bella," he breathed, flattening himself above her, but keeping his weight resting on his own elbows. "I…" He stopped and swallowed hard. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent, willing himself to have the courage to just tell her.

Bella's hands stroked his back lightly; she placed light kisses along his shoulder. He was heavy on top of her, but it was pleasant and she didn't want him to move. When he stayed quiet, she asked, "Edward? Were you going to say something?"

Sighing, he pulled back and smiled at her. "I heard a line in a song once. I used to think it was so cheesy until right at this moment. The line goes 'I was born to call your name.' I think I just understood what that line really means." He rolled to his back and pulled Bella with him so that now she was lying on top of him.

She smiled brilliantly at him, tears welling in her eyes. "I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," she whispered.

Bella reached up and kissed him, sliding her tongue against his and stroking her hand down to his stomach. She traced her fingers lightly around his naval before slipping under the waistband of his shorts. He was already hard and she moaned lightly against his mouth. She pulled away and sat up, dragging his shorts off his body.

She straddled him, using her fingers to guide his cock inside of her. They both groaned blissfully as their hips met. Bella began to move slowly, leaning forward to clasp hands with Edward.

Her hair swung forward over her shoulders, creating a curtain between them and the rest of the room. Edward watched her as she hovered over him, awed by the sight of her, eyes closed and biting her lip in concentration. The muscles in her arms began to tremble as she rocked back and forth against him.

Edward let go of her hands, sitting up and holding her against him. They were chest to chest and he captured her mouth with his. His hands rested on her hips, but he let her choose her own pace.

He slid his hands up under her shirt, grasping the hem, and pulling it up over her head. Bella moaned as their mouths crashed back together. The friction of his chest against her nipples caused exquisite shivers to race up and down her spine. She placed her hands on the sides his neck and could feel his pulse racing just under his skin.

"Edward," she whimpered, grinding against his hips.

"My beautiful, bewitching Bella," he whispered, shifting slightly so that he could move his hand between them. He pressed his fingers into her, pressing against her clit.

She gasped as she came and then again when he groaned gutturally and emptied himself inside of her.

Bella buried her face into his neck and he held her to his body tightly, easing back down onto the bed. Both of their throats were tight with declarations that they wanted to reveal, but wouldn't. Both of them longed to tell the other how much they were loved.

Both of them fell asleep without uttering a word.

**A/N: Don't worry, my lovelies, Labor Day isn't over yet.**

**Can anyone name the song that Edward borrowed the line from? I've got a virtual Snickerdoodle for whoever guesses correctly. =)**

**I have a couple of one-shots that I've submitted for the "For the Love of Jasper" contest.**

**My solo one-shot, titled "No Ordinary Appointment" can be found at: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5364560/1/No_Ordinary_Appointment**

**My collab effort with ZephyerSky, titled "The Enemy Within" can be found at: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5372967/1/The_Enemy_Within**

**Also, Zeph wrote her own solo one-shot for the contest and it's incredibly beautiful. It's titled "When You Say Nothing At All" and can be found here: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5356164/1/When_You_Say_Nothing_At_All**

**Leave me some love? Please don't make me whore myself out for reviews. ;)**


	13. Chapter 12

**** We all know I don't own Twilight or its characters. I do own a worn out copy of "Love Actually" on DVD, which is what I watch when I don't feel like writing fluff.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for once again catching all my comma errors. =)**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for letting me bounce ideas off her and for pimping my stories. Please go check out her writing. She's incredible and you can find her profile under my favorite authors list. ****

Chapter 12

The moon shone full through the large windows as Bella crept down the stairs. She moved as quietly as she could, trying not to disturb anyone else. She woke up to use the bathroom, but was unable to go back to sleep, her mind racing with the still new awareness of her feelings for Edward and her curiosity about the tension between him and Carlisle. Afraid of waking Edward, she decided she would come downstairs and get something to drink and maybe curl up in the massive library with a book.

She was surprised to see a light shining under the kitchen door. She pushed the door open and tried to repress a giggle as she watched Emmett dancing a little shuffle, holding the platter that had once held a triple-layer chocolate cake.

"Emmett!" She exclaimed, laughing as he jumped and fumbled the platter.

"Damn, Bells, you scared the shit out of me!" He chuckled and waved her forward, setting Esme's glass platter safely on the countertop. "Share the last piece of cake with me?"

Bella nodded and moved to the cupboard to get glasses. She filled them with milk and placed one in front of Emmett, already seated at the kitchen island. She slid onto the stool next to him and picked up her fork, humming happily as the rich chocolate hit her tongue.

"So why are you in the kitchen so late?" She asked finally, taking a drink of her milk. Emmett shrugged.

"Just one of those nights, I guess. The moon was too bright and I knew there was cake left. I wanted to get to it before Edward or Jasper." He winked at her and Bella giggled. "What about you?"

Bella sighed and laid her fork down. She trusted Emmett, but felt vaguely like she was betraying Edward by discussing things with him. She ran her hand through her hair before speaking. "Edward won't talk to me about what's going on between him and Carlisle. I guess I just don't understand the tension between them. It seems like Carlisle would be proud of Edward for choosing the Army." She frowned down at the slice of cake in front of her before picking up her fork and taking another bite.

Emmett chewed thoughtfully for a minute. "I think it would be difficult for a parent to watch their child choose a path that is as difficult and often dangerous as a military career."

He glanced over at Bella who was staring down into her glass of milk like it held the secrets of the universe. He licked a bit of frosting off his finger. "Did you know that Carlisle volunteers at the free clinic in the city?" Bella glanced up at him in surprise and shook her head. "He told me once that one of the hardest parts of the job was having to see all of the vets come in with such severe emotional and physical problems."

"I guess I can understand that," Bella replied softly. "But he was so mean about it today!"

Emmett nodded slowly. "True. And I'm not trying to make excuses for him. But…when he first started, the vets were older men, usually Vietnam veterans and some Desert Storm vets dealing with post-traumatic stress or Gulf War Syndrome. Now there are so many of them that are very, very young. Some of them are as young as eighteen. I think a lot of Carlisle's anger stems from the fact that he's scared. He's afraid of Edward becoming one of them."

Tears welled up in Bella's eyes and she sniffed. "I didn't think about it like that. It's pretty much the same thing I'm worried about."

"Hey," Emmett reached over and pulled her to him in a quick hug. "You know, I've been a part of this family for a long time now and Edward definitely gives Carlisle and Esme just as much grief as he gets from them. He's definitely never been accused of being completely innocent. I could tell you some stories." He finished his sentence in a singsong voice.

Bella swiped quickly at her eyes as she giggled. "Oh really? Now these I must hear."

Emmett laughed and took another swallow of his milk. "When he was six, he decided that he was going to help Esme around the house. He filled the dishwasher with Dawn liquid soap and mopped the kitchen floors with Pledge. It was several weeks before any of us could walk through the kitchen without holding on to a counter to keep our balance." He shook his head at the memory.

"When he was eleven, he got it in his head that the frogs that lived around our house in Washington were endangered. He spent most of a Saturday filling his pockets with as many as he could catch and then putting them in the downstairs guest bathroom. Well, I guess he forgot about them because the next morning, Esme went in there to replace the towels and came running screaming through the house. I'm pretty sure he was grounded for at least a couple of weeks for that one."

He grinned at Bella who was laughing and clutching her sides. Emmett finished the cake as he waited for her to calm. She chuckled once more and then studied him, smiling.

"Edward told me that you two basically grew up together. I guess he wasn't exaggerating." She smiled up at Emmett.

"Yeah, I didn't have the best parents in the world. They pretty much left me to fend for myself while they partied. Carlisle and Esme are more my parents than the two people who are responsible for my birth." It was an old wound, but one that still stung. Bella covered his hand with her two smaller ones. "I pretty much lived at their house from age ten on. Then when I was sixteen, my parents kicked me out for good and the Cullens just moved me in to the spare room. I didn't even have to ask." He shook his head like he was shaking off a bad mood and then turned to smirk at Bella. "You know, I'm pretty sure that Alice had a crush on me for awhile."

She giggled. "I'll definitely have to ask her about that sometime when Jasper's not around." She stood up and began to gather their dirty dishes. She carried them to the sink, rinsed them, and placed them carefully in the dishwasher. She was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Emmett; she knew he often intimidated people because of his size.

Sliding back on to her stool, she turned to face him again. "So you met Rose in high school?"

Emmett smiled softly, his eyes brightening at the mention of his wife. "She was a year ahead of me, two years ahead of Edward. We attended a pretty big school, but I'm still surprised that I didn't know who she was until she was nominated for Homecoming Queen her senior year. I'll never forget seeing her at the assembly. She was so beautiful even under the fluorescent lights. Afterwards, she walked straight up to me and said, 'McCarty, I've decided you're going to escort me at Homecoming.'''

Bella laughed. "I can see Rosalie doing that."

"She wanted a football player to escort her. To this day I don't know why she chose me instead of one of the senior players, but I'm glad she did. I kissed her at the Homecoming dance that night and I've loved her ever since."

Bella sighed happily, picturing it. Her eyes began to drift closed, causing Emmett to chuckle.

"Come on, Bella, back to bed for you. No sleeping in the kitchen." She smiled and he followed her through, turning off lights as he went.

"Goodnight," he whispered at the base of the steps.

"Goodnight, Emmett. Thanks for sharing cake with me." Bella waved and then tiptoed back upstairs. She slipped back into the bed carefully, trying not to disturb Edward. He stirred slightly as the mattress sank under her slight weight.

"Missed you," he murmured sleepily, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. Bella kissed him softly and they both drifted back to sleep.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The sun shone high in the sky the next morning when Bella awoke. She rolled over and reached for Edward, but the sheets were cool under her hand. He had been up and out of bed for a while.

She used the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and pulled a comb through her hair before traipsing down the stairs. She found Rosalie and Esme at the dining room table, comparing tile samples for a bathroom that Esme wanted to renovate. Alice sat on the couch with a large tub on her lap, digging through bottles of nail polish.

"Bella!" Alice cried, spotting her hovering at the base of the steps. "You're just in time. Come let me give you a pedicure!" Bella looked down at her feet, considering her unpolished toes. Shrugging, she grinned at Rosalie and Esme before ambling over and plopping down on the couch beside Alice.

"So where is everybody?" Bella asked, attempting to keep her tone casual. Alice was bent over her feet, but looked up with a sly grin.

"If by everybody you mean those of the male persuasion, they went for a run." She rolled her eyes, causing Bella to giggle. "I swear, you would never know that they're on vacation."

They continued to talk and laugh as Alice proceeded to paint Bella's toenails a bright tangerine color. Eventually Esme and Rose joined them, rifling through Alice's polish collection, picking out colors for their own feet.

"Augh. I love OPI polish." Rose groaned, trying to choose between a red-violet color called "Miami Beet" and a lighter red named "Paint My Moji-toes Red." She leaned over and inspected the color that Alice was applying to Bella. "What color is that Ali?"

Before she could answer, Esme let out a quick squeal. "Ooooh! Look at this color! 'That's Berry Daring!' Hmmm…wonder what Carlisle will think of that?!?" She held up a bottle of bright pink color and blushed slightly. Rosalie looked at Bella and Alice and winked.

"I'm using 'In My Back Pocket' on Bells." She replied to Rose's earlier question. "And I've got 'Blue My Mind' on my own." She wiggled her toes, which were painted a bright, brilliant blue.

Just as Alice was applying the final coat of clear polish over Bella's nails, their girl-time was interrupted by a commotion at the back door. Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and even Carlisle were roughhousing, pushing their way into the house. Edward made it through first, laughing as he leaned over the back of the couch and tried to kiss Bella. She shrieked as sweat dripped off him.

"What's the plan today?" Jasper called after kissing Alice soundly.

"I have to go in to the clinic for awhile, but they're supposed to have fireworks tonight. I thought we could cook out and watch?" Carlisle's voice was a little hesitant. Bella noticed he laid a hand briefly on Edward's shoulder and the knot in her stomach melted away. Whatever tensions had been present between father and son, they seemed to have worked them out, at least temporarily.

Esme clapped her hands together suddenly. "I know! Why don't you guys go down to The Arcade? You haven't been down there in a long time."

Bella arched an eyebrow and looked over at Alice who had begun to bounce up and down in her seat. "We're going to an arcade?" She asked, confused. Alice grabbed her hand and tugged her off the couch.

"Not **an** arcade, Bella. **The** Arcade." Bella just stared, clearly not understanding. Edward laughed softly and pulled her away from Alice.

"Don't worry, love. You'll see what she means."

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The Arcade was certainly more than just **an** arcade. Bella's head swiveled back and forth as she tried to take in everything there was to do. There was an actual game arcade, but there were also shops of every kind for anything a person could want to buy. There was a huge aquarium, a scattering of restaurants serving several different types of cuisine, a mini-golf course, a nightclub and several bars and all of it surrounded a large pond. Or maybe it was a small lake? Either way there was a massive pirate ship floating in the middle of it and Bella wished she could get on board and look around.

"We'll catch up with you guys later," Edward called behind Bella, capturing her hand and pulling her away from the others. Bella looked up at him confused.

"We're not going to hang out with the others?"

"Sure we are. Later. Right now I really need some time with just you. I've been sorely lacking in that department today." He grinned at her, looping his arm around her shoulders and steering her towards an old-fashioned ice cream shop. He stood behind her as they waited in line, nuzzling the tender spot on her neck, just behind her ear. She thought briefly of pushing him away, but ended up tilting her head to give him better access.

"You smell good," he whispered, pulling her hips back into him. She could feel him hard against her and she shivered involuntarily.

Finally it was their turn at the counter. Bella ordered her regular mint chocolate chip single cone and Edward turned to her in surprise.

"Did you know that's my favorite?" He grinned and she smiled back.

"I didn't, but I knew there was a reason I liked you," she teased him as took her cone from the girl behind the counter, waiting patiently for Edward to get his and pay. They wandered outside and walked beside the water, trying to eat their cones quickly enough that they didn't melt and make a mess.

"So you and Carlisle seemed to be on better terms this morning," Bella mentioned casually, looking sideways at Edward. He grimaced and finished his cone before answering.

"Yep, nothing a little one-on-one basketball and an agreement to disagree can't cure." There was a note of bitterness in his tone, but Bella let it pass.

Edward waited impatiently for her to finish her ice cream. As soon as she was done, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into an alley between two buildings.

"I didn't want to do this in front of an audience," he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. She smiled at him and rested her hands on his waist, hooking her fingers through a couple of his belt loops.

He leaned down and brushed his nose softly against hers before pressing his lips softly against her mouth. Her lips were still cold from the ice cream and the mint and chocolate only made her taste sweeter.

Bella's tongue flicked against his mouth and he opened to allow her to taste him. Their mouths moved in sync for several moments before they pulled away, panting. Edward rested his forehead against hers for a minute until they both caught their breath.

"Ready to go find the others?" He asked softly. She nodded and laced her fingers through his, following him back out on to the main avenue.

**A/N I had so much fun researching OPI colors, it's ridiculous. All of the colors mentioned can be found on the OPI website at www(dot)opi(dot)com.**

**Also I just published a one shot that I'm very, very proud of called "As the Sun Rises." Please check it out and let me know what you think.**

**Oh and remember, reviews are better than a mint chocolate chip kiss from Edward. =)**


	14. Chapter 13

**** I own nothing Twilight related. I do own a whole new set of split-ends that came from anxiously twirling my hair, trying to write this chapter.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for beta-ing. She got this chappie back to me within 24 hours! How awesome is that?!?**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for listening to me whine. And for making an awesome banner for this story! Check out the link in my profile!**

**Please see the end for an important note. ****

Chapter 13

Bella stood at the kitchen window and watched Edward, Rosalie, and Emmett playing football in the sand behind the house. She laughed softly as Emmett's cries of "foul" wafted toward the house on the breeze. Edward and Rosalie high-fived each other and huddled together for the next play. Out of the corner of her eye, she could just see Carlisle and Jasper on the back deck, standing over the grill, debating the best meat searing techniques.

Turning finally, she lifted the colander of newly clean strawberries and set them down on a towel to drip-dry. Alice and Esme sat at the kitchen island, Alice peeling apples and Esme mixing a marinade for the steaks. They were gossiping about someone that she didn't know, so Bella let her mind drift. She shivered slightly, remembering the minty, chocolaty taste of Edward's mouth when he kissed her that afternoon.

Realizing that the other two women had fallen silent, Bella looked up and blushed when she found them watching her.

"Well, that's a self-satisfied smile if I ever saw one," Alice winked, picking another apple from the bowl in front of her. Bella refused to answer, shaking her head and grabbing a handful of strawberries to begin cutting.

"So, Bella, no one's ever filled me in on how you met my son. Care to share?" Esme spoke up, saving her from Alice's interrogation. Bella smiled gratefully and launched in to the story of literally running into Edward the first night at the café.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

After dinner, following some good-natured teasing from Rosalie and Alice, the men offered to clean up the dishes. Bella stood and began to gather plates from the table, but Edward laid his hand on her shoulder and pushed her gently back down in her chair. "Sit. We've got this under control." He winked at her and balanced her plate on top of the stack already in his hands.

"Yeah, Bella, you don't have the right equipment to do that kind of work," Alice laughed, throwing Emmett's words back at him. He and Jasper had chased the women away from the deck, claiming that grilling was "man's work" and they didn't have the "right equipment."

Alice didn't see Jasper walk back out onto the deck until he reached around her to clear her plate. He tipped the plate precariously, threatening to tip the leftover food into her lap. She shrieked and threw herself back away from the table.

"Why, I'm sorry, babe. That plate almost got away from me." He spoke in his most innocent of drawls, smirking at Esme, Rosalie, and Bella who were laughing around the table. He bent and kissed Alice's cheek, nuzzling her ear until she forgave him and chuckled.

The sun transformed into a ball of flame as it sank lower in the sky.

"Maybe I should go check on them," Esme said intermittently, each time attempting to rise from her chair before Rosalie would grab her hand and tug her back down.

"Absolutely not, Esme. They were being jerks earlier and they need to pay the price."

Finally she had enough and bolted from her chair before Rose could grab her. "I'm not worried about them! I'm worried for my kitchen!" She called over her shoulder, exasperated, as she disappeared through the door.

Bella found herself laughing until tears streamed down her cheeks. She tried to remember the last time she felt so relaxed or laughed so hard, but nothing came to mind.

Just as the darkness settled around them, Edward hurried out of the back door. He grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her excitedly towards the sand. "Come on!" He called over his shoulder, making Bella grin. He led her away from the others, down the beach until the water lapped softly at their feet. "The show should be starting soon."

He tugged Bella to stand in front of him and wrapped his arms around her. With a contented sigh, he let his chin rest on the top of her head. She could feel the steady thump of his heart against her back. She smiled to herself and let her hands rest on his sinewy forearms. The darkness settled over them and, unlike her first morning standing in this spot, the sands shifting under her feet didn't threaten her balance. Bella marveled at how solid Edward felt behind her, steadying and supporting her.

_Stop being such a wuss and __**tell**__ him already! _She scolded herself.

She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"Bella," Edward whispered before she could make a sound. She turned in his arms to face him, smiling as she traced her fingertips across the waistband of his board shorts. He tangled his hands in her long hair and tilted her head back so that he could look at her. Joy bubbled up inside him and he felt like she was the only thing tethering him to the earth.

He loved her fiercely, wanting to simultaneously protect her and ravish her. He wanted cozy mornings snuggled in bed, delaying the start of the day. He wanted fiery nights tangled in her arms, tasting and caressing and soaring higher than the stars. He wanted more vacations with her laughter as the soundtrack. He wanted to come home every day and know that she would be there waiting for him.

He loved her.

"I love you," he blurted, and his eyes widened as he realized he'd said it out loud. Bella's grin faltered, but then burst back across her face like a ray of sun. She reached up and placed her hands on each side of his face.

"Good, because I love you too. And I'd hate to feel that way all by myself." He laughed and pressed her closer, peppering her face with small kisses. Just as he crushed his mouth to hers, the first of the evening's fireworks exploded into the night sky above them. "Well, now I guess I can say I see fireworks when you kiss me," Bella laughed, craning her head back to watch the colors flash and sparkle above them.

For the first time since he was a child, Edward didn't watch the Labor Day fireworks display over the water. Instead he watched her, kissing her neck as she craned her head towards the sky and toying with the ties on her bathing suit. He could not remember when he'd enjoyed a holiday more.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

"Seriously, the fact that you're watching me sleep is a little creepy." Bella opened one eye at Edward's quick snort of laughter. She had felt his eyes on her as she woke the next morning and her voice was still husky with sleep. Her face was half smashed into her pillow and she was pretty sure there was drool on her chin. Her hair felt like it was matted on top of her head. Edward thought she looked adorable.

She thought he looked like sin, shirtless with black ink across the skin over his heart and banded around his biceps, his green eyes glittering just inches in front of her face. He leaned forward and kissed her, morning breath and all.

"Good morning. We should probably get up. Emmett's going to be in a hurry to leave after we eat breakfast," he whispered, stroking his hand over her hip and nibbling at her mouth. Bella scooted closer to him and kissed him firmly, opening her mouth to caress his tongue with hers.

She pulled back slightly. "We're going to be late to breakfast, aren't we?" Her voice came out breathy and her heart pounded in her chest. Edward grinned.

"Looks like," he said, rolling her over until he was hovering over her.

"Good."

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Breakfast was a somewhat solemn affair. They were all tired and, true to Edward's prediction, Emmett was in a hurry to get on the road. They ate quickly and began to collect their belongings and pack their bags. Edward grabbed both of their bags and made his way out to Emmett's maroon Suburban to throw them in the back. Bella made to follow him, but Esme caught her on the front porch. She linked her arm easily through Bella's.

They watched Edward and Emmett debate the best way to pack the luggage in the back. Esme sighed and Bella saw tears in the older woman's eyes.

"Bella, I'm so glad you were able to come this weekend. It really was a pleasure to meet and get to know you." Esme smiled and Bella squeezed her hand.

"Thank you so much for inviting me, Esme. I've really enjoyed the weekend." She wondered if Esme understood how different her weekend could have been, holed up in her apartment doing her homework.

"I'm sorry you had to witness some of the tension between Edward and his father. It seems like every time they get in the same space, they have to fight to get it out of the way and then they're fine again," Esme sighed, shaking her head slightly. She wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulders. "I think you're good for my boy though. I hope you won't be a stranger." She smiled again and Bella could feel her cheeks heating at the praise.

"Thank you, Esme. I think he's good for me too."

Edward bounded back on the porch and swung his mother up into a hug. The rest of the group filed out the front door, with Carlisle bringing up the rear. They said their goodbyes and clambered into the large truck. Edward and Bella climbed into the very back, letting Alice and Jasper claim the middle seats and Rosalie the front passenger seat.

Emmett chose to forgo his normal ebullient music for Rosalie's quieter, more romantic melodies. They held hands across the front console and Bella could see him lift Rose's hand to plant kisses along her skin.

Jasper and Alice shared the ear buds to his MP3 player so they could watch a movie. They leaned in close and occasionally Jasper would close the distance to rest his cheek against her. Judging by Alice's giggles, whatever they were watching was very amusing.

Bella sat curled up beside Edward on the third seat. His head rested on her shoulder and she thought he was asleep. She held a book on her lap, but was content in just enjoying the quiet times with her new friends.

**A/N: I know, I know. It was a short chapter. My sincerest apologies. I still hope you all liked it.**

**On that note, things are going to be getting darker and angst-ier soon. I hope you'll all trust me and hang in for the ride though. On the plus side, I'm much better at writing angst so the quality should improve. ;)**

**Voting in the For the Love of Jasper Contest opens next week around Oct 5****th****. I hope you'll check out my profile for the one-shots that I wrote for it and consider voting for one of them. =)**


	15. Chapter 14

**** I don't own the characters or anything else Twilight related. I do own a very full memory stick.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for beta-ing. =)**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for asking the practical questions.**

**Updates may slow down over the next couple of weeks. I'm working on a couple of one-shots for different contests and I'm going to be traveling in November. But have no fear; I'm not abandoning the story.**

**Please see the end author's note for some important information, mkay? ****

Chapter 14

Edward's hand stroked over her hip, causing Bella to shiver and sigh happily. His voice was soft in her ear when he spoke.

"I love this particular curve of yours. The skin is so soft and my hand fits it so well." He grinned as Bella squirmed under him, seeking friction. He stroked his tongue over the sensitive spot on her neck where her pulse thudded under her skin.

"Edward," Bella sighed, pulling his face up to hers and flicking her tongue across his lips. He sucked her tongue gently into his mouth and her hips bucked up against his. Giving in to temptation, he slipped inside her and they both moaned as he filled her. Their pace was easy, quickening only as they both got closer to their orgasm.

"I love you, Bella, so much," he whispered as she tightened around him. He was gruff, lust and love and need combining to steal his voice. Bella cried out as she came and he was close behind, eyes closed and the tendons in his neck straining as he tensed above her.

He collapsed on top of her, listening to her heartbeat slow back to normal in her chest. Bella stroked her fingers across his shoulders and gently massaged the nape of his neck. "I love you too, Edward. More than anything."

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Six weeks had passed from their Labor Day trip to visit his parents. The intense heat of summer gave way to the cool nights and warm days of autumn. Bella spent her days on campus and, more often than not, her nights wrapped in Edward's arms in her apartment. They hung out with the others and Bella regularly ate lunch with Alice and occasionally Rose if her schedule permitted. But nights found them together, absorbed in each other. On the nights that she needed to complete her homework, Edward brought his laptop and set up a movie to keep himself from bothering her.

Neither one could remember a time when they had been so completely happy.

The third Thursday in October found Bella sliding into a desk in the early morning history class that she shared with Alice. She looked around for the other girl, her brow furrowing when she didn't find her. She was later than usual. Edward was scheduled for an early morning jump so she spent the night by herself and ended up oversleeping.

She placed her things under desk and pulled out her notebook, situating it on the desktop and sliding her cell phone under the flap to hide it. She waited for Alice to appear, but when the door opened again, it was their instructor instead.

Halfway through class, her phone vibrated on the desk. Bella snatched it before it could make too much noise. Seeing Edward's number on the Caller ID, she hit ignore, frowning since he knew she had class at that time and usually wouldn't call and take the chance of interrupting. Seconds later, her phone vibrated again. This time it was from Alice's number. Not wanting to interrupt the class, Bella hit the ignore button again, sending her friend's call to voicemail. A small seed of dread began to sprout in her stomach. She swallowed hard, but tried to concentrate on the day's lesson.

Two minutes later, her phone vibrated yet again. Panic flared in her chest and she jumped up from her desk. She grabbed her bag and notebook and bolted from the room with a look of apology to her professor. Striding down the hall, she answered the call from Edward.

"What's wrong?"

"Bella, we're at the hospital. Can you come?" His voice was rough and he sounded scared. She could hear voices in the background and the whine of an intercom system.

"Edward, what happened? Are you okay? What's going on?" She tried to stamp down the panic beginning to roil in her chest, but tears welled up in her eyes and threatened to choke her.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. It's Jasper. He got hurt on the jump this morning." Bella's eyes closed at his words. She remembered now that Alice planned to skip class to go watch the jump.

"Of course. I'll be right there. Is he okay?"

"We're still waiting to hear from the doc." He paused for a minute before continuing. "Bella, I need you. Alice needs you too, she's going crazy waiting."

"I'm on my way. I love you." Bella clicked her phone off and sprinted to her car.

Fifteen minutes later she charged through the revolving doors leading into the emergency room waiting room. She immediately spotted Alice and Edward. Alice sat in the chair with her legs pulled up, her forehead resting on her knees. Edward sat beside her, one arm around her, while the other stroked her arm.

She walked straight to them and knelt down in front of Alice, placing one hand on her friend's leg and the other on Edward's.

"Have you heard anything?" Bella asked softly. Alice straightened and sniffed, tears causing mascara to track down her cheeks. She swiped her hands across her face impatiently and shook her head.

"Nothing. They won't tell us anything yet. I guess they're running more tests." Alice ran her fingers through her hair, tugging fiercely at the ends. "God, I'm a mess. I can't see Jasper like this. I'll be right back." She slid out of her seat and marched to the bathroom.

Bella stood and watched her go before sliding into the now vacant seat beside Edward. He didn't look at her, hunching over and letting his hands drop down between his knees.

"I landed just before him. I knew he was right behind me and as soon as I stood up, I turned to look for him," Edward paused, swallowing hard. "I saw him hit and I knew something happened. He just….crumpled….as soon as he hit the ground." He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying desperately to block the memory. Bella choked back a sob, but couldn't stop a single tear from tracking its way down her cheek. She leaned forward, running her hand over Edward's head, down his back, and across his shoulders, attempting to reassure herself that he was not hurt.

"Are you okay?" She blurted, knowing as soon as she said it that the words would make him angry. He barked out a laugh before answering.

"Physically, I'm fine, Bella," he muttered, standing and pacing across the room. His tone stung, but she refused to let it hurt her feelings. She understood that he was stressed and upset. "I interrupted your class when I called, didn't I?" His voice was soft now and he didn't look at her.

"Yes, but that's okay." Seconds ticked by before she spoke again. "Why didn't you send me a text message? I would have been here sooner."

Edward glanced up finally, his brow furrowed. He considered for a moment and then shrugged. "I don't know. I wasn't thinking, I guess. It never occurred to me." He resumed his pacing. Bella ran her hand through her hair.

"Have you heard from Emmett?"

"Yeah, he had to head back to the company. I promised to call him when I hear something."

Bella nodded and crossed her legs under her in the uncomfortable chair, trying not to picture Jasper's tall form crumpling under him.

_It could have been Edward. _

She shook her head roughly, trying desperately not to picture a different scenario with her sitting in this chair waiting to find out if Edward was okay. She fought against the images of his body broken under a pile of parachute canopy. She opened her eyes and watched him pace, repeating, _He's okay, he's okay, he's okay, _like a mantra.

Bella stood then and waited for Edward to face her again in his pacing. As soon as he did, she went to him, winding her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest. He waited a moment before he wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek against her hair. They stood like that for a moment, Bella listening to the steady beat of his heart against her ear.

She felt Edward stiffen beside her as the doors to the emergency room swung open and the doctor walked out. At the same time, Alice returned from the bathroom and she hurried to her brother's side. Bella moved to one side, releasing Edward, but twining her fingers with his. He wrapped his other arm around Alice, pulling her in close to him.

The doctor shot them a small, tired smile and Bella felt the knot in her stomach relax fractionally. "You three are the family of Mr. Hale?" His eyes narrowed, obviously not really believing that any of them were blood relatives.

Edward stepped forward. "Sir, Hale is in my unit. I'm the one who brought him in. And my sister is his fiancée." He lied so smoothly that Bella caught herself trying to surreptitiously check Alice's left hand for a ring. They watched as the doctor held some kind of internal debate with himself before shrugging.

"We're going to be keeping Mr. Hale for awhile. More than likely overnight for observation, at least. He's strained his back, but the injury we're most concerned with is the damage to his knee. It looks like he's ruptured both the anterior cruciate ligament and the medial collateral ligament in his right leg."

Alice let out a small gasp and fresh tears streaked down her cheeks. Her voice shook when she spoke. "But he's going to be okay, right?" The doctor peered down at her before gently clapping his hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, he's going to be fine. We'll keep him overnight to monitor his pain and he's going to be on crutches for a while. He'll have to see a specialist about his knee, but he should have no lifetime repercussions from his injuries."

"Can we see him, sir?" Edward's words were clipped, his teeth clenched. Bella automatically smoothed her hand down his arm, seeking to soothe him. His grip tightened slightly around her hand before he relaxed.

The overhead paging system blared just then and the doctor became distracted. He nodded absentmindedly and began walking away as he answered. "We're moving him upstairs now. One of the nurses will let you know what room he's going to and when you can see him." He disappeared quickly back through the double doors and Bella could faintly hear the wail of an ambulance siren outside. She turned back to Edward and Alice.

Alice stood there swaying with her eyes closed. Her lips moved in a silent litany, which could have been either supplication or thanksgiving. Edward sent Bella an apologetic look, then turned and bolted through the door to the outside. Bella bit her lip, but turned back to Alice.

"He's going to be alright." She wrapped her arm around the smaller girl and pulled her into a hug. Alice stood rigid for a minute and then collapsed inward, wrapping her arms around Bella's waist and sobbing into her shoulder.

"I thought he was dead," she wailed. Bella smoothed Alice's hair and pulled her gently to a bench to sit down. She could only stroke her hair as a means of comfort. After several minutes Edward walked back through the doors. He sat down beside Alice on the bench without saying anything. He slung his arm across the back of the bench, wrapping it protectively around his sister, but leaving his hand free to stroke through the ends of Bella's long hair. His eyes were rimmed with red and every so often he sniffed, but there was no other emotion showing from his green eyes.

They waited for what seemed an eternity, but was in actuality only an hour and a half. Finally a harried nurse trundled into the waiting room and read off Jasper's name. The three of them jumped up from the bench and followed her directions to the fourth floor. Bella kept her arm tucked through Alice's, restraining the girl from sprinting to the room.

When they found room 415, the lights inside were dimmed. Alice's steps slowed as fear threatened to overwhelm her. Her body began to shake and Edward wrapped his arm around her waist. Bella patted her back comfortingly, but pushed her into the room while she and Edward hung back.

Jasper's face was white against the rough pillowcase when they entered the room behind Alice. Multiple lines wound from his arm and chest to the monitor and IV bag that hovered over his bed. He opened his eyes and grinned lazily when he saw Alice.

"There's the most beautiful girl in the world," he said softly, his words slurring under the influence of the pain medication. Alice rushed to his side and grasped his hand, smoothing his hair back from his forehead. "Angel, no, Alice, I saw angels. I flew with them." Alice giggled a little hysterically.

"Sshhhh, baby. It's okay. You can tell me about them later," she whispered, peppering kisses along the knuckles of his hand.

"Ali, my leg hurts." His eyes closed again. "I'm so sleepy." He yawned. "Love you angel." In just seconds, he was snoring softly. Alice sank into the chair beside his bed, still holding his hand. She laid her head down on the sheets and burst into tears again.

Bella tugged Edward's hand and backed out of the room, giving Alice some privacy. She leaned against the wall outside of Jasper's room and pulled Edward to her. Sliding her arms around his waist, she rested against him. The newfound fears that began to haunt her after that morning's phone call, combined with the heartache of watching her friend's pain, washed over her. Almost overwhelmed with emotion, her body began to shake. Edward wrapped his arms around her and let her cry.

**A/N Okay, so I played fast and loose with the HIPAA rules, but I'm claiming artistic license. **

**Here's a fun, yet horrifying fact. I found out last week that many paratroopers/soldiers who jump on a regular basis actually lose inches in height over time due to the compression when their bodies hit the ground after repeated jumps. shudders**

**Now for the begging part of the evening's program. I have a couple of one-shots entered into the For the Love of Jasper contest. My solo one-shot is called "No Ordinary Appointment" and my joint collaboration with ZephyerSky is called "The Enemy Within." Please go to www (dot) fortheloveofjasper (dot) com and read and vote for them if you like them. Voting is open from Oct 12-18. The final voting round will run Oct 19-23.**

**Also, Zeph has a solo one-shot titled "When You Say Nothing at All" in the contest that is incredible. Please vote for hers too!**

**Reviews are better than a silly, loopy Jasper. =)**


	16. Chapter 15

**** I own nothing. Except for 3 torn movie stubs from seeing New Moon three times this weekend.**

**My apologies for the late update. I know it's been a long time. Rest assured, I have not forgotten about the story. I wrote a Darkward Vampfic one-shot, got sick, and my husband was home for two weeks for his mid-tour leave. =) **

**Thanks to Herinfiniteeyes for the beta-work.**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for previewing this chapter and congrats to her for finishing Across the Hall! ****

Chapter 15

She dreamed of walking through a forest. The sunlight dappled through the leafy canopy and the tree limbs danced gently above her. Bella pulled her sweater closer around her shoulders and stepped carefully through the overgrown path at her feet. Tiny pebbles cut into her feet from under the riotous leaves covering the path. Her mind registered the pain, but there was no sense of danger or unease. She only knew she needed to keep walking.

Finally she stepped out from the trees into a perfectly symmetrical circular meadow. Her breath caught in her throat and she lifted her face to the sunshine, dropping her sweater to the ground as the light warmed her shoulders. Bella made her way through the waist high grass that waved gently against her, parting easily around her as she walked. She smiled and twirled in a circle before slowly becoming aware of a humming noise in the sky above her. Stopping her motion, she used her hands to shield her eyes from the sun as she peered up.

A thrill of excitement shot through her as she caught a glimpse of the large grey plane.

"Edward," she whispered, recognizing the same kind of plane that he usually jumped from. The back of the plane opened and bodies began to jump out, waiting only seconds before their parachutes opened. Giggling to herself, she waited breathlessly for him to appear.

Then things began to change. The sky darkened threateningly and thunder rumbled in the distance, drowning out the loud hum of the airplane's engines. Bella frowned and dropped her hands from her face as she watched clouds rolling in from the horizon. As the weather worsened, Bella expected the plane to turn and leave, but bodies kept dropping from its belly.

Lightening flashed through the atmosphere as the last person stepped up to the door. Somehow Bella knew it was Edward, knew it even as he waved and then threw himself from the plane. She waited for his parachute to open. She watched as his body plummeted towards the ground and still no green canopy opened over his head. Her body began to shake, but her feet remained frozen where she stood. Helplessly, she shook her head back and forth.

"EDWARD!" Bella screamed.

Her eyes flew open to the comforting darkness of her apartment. Panting, she sat up and threw her legs over the side of the bed, dropping her head into her hands. Her heart pounded in her chest and she struggled for breath. Glancing over her shoulder, she watched Edward's chest rise and fall evenly as he slept peacefully.

Bella stood and grabbed his plaid flannel shirt that he'd worn that day. Slipping her arms into the sleeves, she wrapped it tightly around her, letting his scent wash over her and calm her. She crossed to the bay window and curled up in the seat, tucking her legs underneath her. Tears slipped unnoticed down her cheeks as images from her dream flashed through her mind. Thankfully they were growing dimmer as the minutes ticked by, but her stomach continued to churn uneasily.

Even after a week, the aftermath of Jasper's accident haunted her mind. She couldn't erase the sight of Alice's heartbroken eyes or the way the other girl had wept by her love's bedside. Although they knew now that Jasper would be okay, Alice's eyes were still shadowed when Bella saw her at lunch earlier that day.

_What would I have done if that were Edward?_ She shivered at the thought.

Growing up near a military base, Bella always understood the inherent dangers associated with the job. Any occupation that included such tools as parachutes and machine guns would naturally include risks. She also didn't live in an isolated bubble away from current events. She tracked the news online everyday in order to keep up to date with what was happening around the world. She knew there was a war going on, as well as the isolated hotspots that kept popping up in various places around the globe. She had just never really stopped to piece it together. The fact that someday it would be Edward traveling to those places and joining in the fight left her shaking, fighting a fresh round of tears.

Could she do it? Could she watch him board a plane, knowing it carried him to perilous foreign lands where he would be in constant danger? Could she go months without seeing him, without feeling his touch or kissing him?

_I don't know if I'm strong enough._

Sighing, Bella laid her cheek against the cold glass of the window. Really what other option did she have? It was either deal with the lifestyle and employment option that Edward had chosen or…what? Say goodbye? Break up with him?

Her eyes flew open at the thought. She studied the moon, hanging full, white, and heavy in the inky sky.

_Maybe I should let him go. Maybe it will hurt less like that._

She turned and let her eyes roam over Edward, tangled in her sheets, lying on his stomach. The muscles in his arm twitched in his sleep and he unconsciously reached toward her side of the bed. Bella held her breath, but he slept peacefully on. She pulled her knees to her chest and, resting her head against them, continued to watch him.

_I don't think I'm strong enough to let him go either._

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

He could feel her pulling away. In the two weeks since Jasper's injury, Bella continued to become more and more distant. She spent more evenings by herself, refusing to let him stay the night, claiming homework and the need to study for her midterms.

The fear of losing her tasted like ash in his mouth.

Edward restlessly paced the small floor space in his room. He ran his hands over his head and absentmindedly made a mental note that it was time for another haircut. Turning, he stalked back across the floor. He missed her, damn it. His need for her was a constant ache in his chest. He missed her warm laughter and carefree smile. He couldn't understand what was going on in her head.

Worst of all, he didn't know why the relationship between them had changed or how to get things back on track.

Glancing at his watch, he noted that it was still a couple of hours before he and Bella were supposed to be at Jasper's for Alice's party. He made his decision quickly and then nodded his head resolutely. Grabbing his keys, he shrugged into his jacket as he left his room, barely remembering to lock the door behind him.

If she wasn't going to talk to him, he was damn well going to talk to her.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Thirty minutes later, he sat dejected on the top step in the hallway in front of her apartment door. Edward pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. He wasn't sleeping well due to the worry over their relationship and it was beginning to catch up with him. Disappointment sat on his shoulders like a heavy weight.

Bella wasn't here. Knocking for over five minutes had revealed nothing but silence from behind the door. She stood him up. Even though he was an hour early, she should have been here getting ready. Anger began to boil up in him and he pushed himself up and off the step. Shaking his head, he trotted down the steps and flung himself through the front door to his car.

_I'll be damned if I wait around for her._

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Bella rooted through the cupboard for another bowl for the second bag of potato chips, stifling a yawn as she heard Alice's light footsteps behind her. She finally snagged a bright blue one and turned, narrowly avoiding a collision with the smaller girl. She took a moment to study her as Alice took the bowl from her and wiped it out with a damp towel.

She was worried about her friend. Dark shadows underlined eyes that didn't laugh as easily as they once had. She was dressed rather uncharacteristically in black and grey and wore her short dark hair slicked back into an elegant twist. Bella missed her flamboyant colors and quick laugh.

Sighing, she looked away guiltily as Alice turned to her holding a tray of sandwiches.

"Bella, would you mind cutting these up for me and then putting them on the food table?"

Bella took the tray from her and set it on the counter so she could cut the subs into manageable pieces. "Of course, Alice. That's why I'm here. I told you I'd come over to help after all." She turned at the uneven clumping sound coming from the hallway. Jasper appeared in the doorway, his face red from the effort of the crutches and apparent anger.

"Goddamn it, Alice, I've been calling you for ten minutes! You know how hard it is for me to get in here on these fucking things. All I wanted was a beer."

Aghast, Bella turned to Alice just in time to see a guilty look settle over her delicate features. Jasper jerked the door to the refrigerator open and grabbed a bottle. With a last glaring look at Bella and Alice, he slammed the door shut and turned to hobble back down the hall where he had been camped on the couch watching football.

Alice tried to force a smile for Bella, but turned quickly back to the vegetables she was working on chopping.

"Alice?" Bella began softly. Alice shook her head quickly and sniffled quietly. "Alice, has he been treating you like this since his accident? Have you been letting him talk to you like that?"

Turning to run her knife under the running water at the sink, Alice shook her head again. Finally she turned back to Bella, the fake smile gone, replaced with a look of wary defensiveness.

"It's okay, Bella. He isn't like this all the time. He's just super angry right now. Did you know that they're telling him that he's probably going to be kicked out of the Army for medical reasons?" Alice bit her lip and twisted a dishtowel between her hands. "All he's ever wanted to do was be a soldier. I should have just cancelled the party, but I thought it might help him to be around his friends."

Bella laid her own knife down and crossed to Alice, resting her hands on the other girl's shoulders. "None of that gives him a right to take it out on you, sweetie. You need to kick that man's ass until he regains his good sense." She smiled when Alice laughed a little bit, swiping quickly at her eyes as she did. Alice's gaze shifted to the window over Bella's shoulder and she froze.

"Uh, Bella, looks like you might want to prepare for your own man problems."

Bella whirled toward the window just in time to catch a glimpse of the black leather of Edward's jacket as he stepped up on the front porch. Before she could move, he was in the small kitchen, brushing a kiss on Alice's cheek even as he wrapped a hand around Bella's arm.

"Hello, baby sister. Bella, can I speak to you outside a moment, please?" He propelled her down the hall and out the back door towards the tree line. Bella could almost feel the anger rippling from him and it was never a good sign when he became super polite. He didn't slow until they were far enough away from the house that they couldn't be heard, even with raised voices.

Finally Edward let go of Bella's arm, but kept walking himself until he was several paces away. He spoke without turning to face her.

"I went by your apartment, but you were already gone."

Bella swallowed, trying to ease the sudden dryness of her throat. "I promised Alice that I would come by and help her set up for the party." Edward nodded, but otherwise remained unmoving.

"So you didn't think that was something that I needed to know? Didn't we agree that we were coming to this together? Or are you telling me that you were going to drive back to your apartment in time for me to come pick you up at the appointed time?"

Edward stopped suddenly and inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself. When Bella said nothing, he turned finally to face her. Whole minutes went by as he watched her. She stood with her arms crossed, gazing at the ground, refusing to look at him. Impatiently he shook a cigarette from a fresh pack and lit it. He closed his eyes and let the nicotine wash through him.

"What's going on with you, Bella?" He asked, sighing. Her gaze flew up to meet his, but still she didn't speak. "I've thought and thought about it, but I can't make any sense of it. You've distanced yourself from me since Jasper's accident, but I don't understand why."

Tears welled up in Bella's eyes and her heart pounded in her chest. A wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm her.

_I thought I was strong enough to walk away from him, but I was wrong. And now it might be too late._

Edward watched her, finishing his cigarette and flicking it off into the darkness. When he spoke again, his voice was rough with emotion. "If you've changed your mind about being with me, Bella, then just say it. If you've decided you want to break up, at least be adult enough to speak the words instead of just disappearing."

For one moment, Bella thought he was coming closer to pull her into a hug or possibly kiss her, but instead he brushed past her, moving towards the house. Words stuck in her throat and threatened to choke her. Finally she turned and yelled out for him.

"Edward!" A tear slipped down her cheek as he stopped and turned towards her. She took a step closer to him. "I'm sorry. You're right. I have tried to push you away. I don't know if I can explain."

The breath whooshed out of Edward's chest as she confirmed what he had feared. Shaking his head when she made no further move to explain her actions, he made to walk back to the house again.

"Wait!" Bella cried out again. Edward stopped again, one eyebrow raised as he waited for her to continue. "Seeing Jasper in the hospital like that, well, it scared me. And it just made me think, you know, that could have been you and I started having nightmares. Then I got to thinking that one day I'm going to have to watch you go off to combat. You're going to LEAVE me, Edward!" Bella began to sob, her breath hitching as she rushed to make him understand. "The truth of it is, I don't know if I'm strong enough to stand it. Not just that that you'll be gone for long periods of time, but that you'll be in danger. I'm afraid of spending my life waiting for the uniforms to show up at my door or the phone to ring with bad news."

She stopped finally and waited for his anger. Wrapping her arms around herself, Bella concentrated on not giving in to her shaking knees. After what seemed an extraordinary amount of time, it wasn't anger, but acceptance that washed over her.

"Okay," he said simply. "Fear I can work with, but you can't just fucking block me out like that, Bella. I can't stand that." She nodded once and sighed in relief as his arms wrapped around her. She pressed herself into his warmth and inhaled his scent.

"Jesus, I shouldn't have you out here without your coat. I'm sorry, love." He shrugged out of his coat and slipped it around her shoulders. "Let's get you back to the house. I'd like to check on Jasper before everyone starts showing up."

Bella wrapped her fingers in his sweater and tugged him closer to her. "Are we okay?"

Edward tangled his fingers into her hair and tilted her face up until she was looking directly at him. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment before pressing his mouth to hers softly.

Pulling away finally, he smiled. "We're going to be fine, sweetheart." This time when he turned to walk back up to the house, he wrapped his hand around Bella's and pulled her with him.

**A/N**

**Reviews make me write faster. Just sayin'. =)**


	17. Chapter 16

**** I don't own the characters, but I do own the story. And a Robward blanket that my work-bestie got me for Christmas.**

**Thanks to herinfiniteeyes for the beta work. =)**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for lending me our brain so I could get the kinks worked out of this chapter. And for pre-reading and for smoking with me at Marcus' show a couple of weeks ago. Love you bb!**

**And now, after a mighty long wait, I present…the next chapter. ****

Chapter 16

"Edward, wait." Bella stopped walking and tugged on Edward's hand until he turned to look at her. He raised one eyebrow, but only studied her silently. Bella continued, toying with her necklace nervously. "There's something I think you should know."

She held his hands in hers as she told him about the interaction between Alice and Jasper that she witnessed before his arrival. She watched as his green eyes hardened to flint and he grew absolutely still.

"Bella, do you think he's hurting her?" His voice was cold, but calm. Bella shivered suddenly in the cool night air and shook her head.

"I don't think he's physical with her, no."

Edward nodded once before leaning forward and kissing Bella's forehead. He turned without speaking and headed back toward the house. Bella followed him, worrying about his sudden change in demeanor.

He stalked through the small house purposefully, but Bella wasn't sure if he was looking for Jasper or Alice. He walked quickly through the kitchen, glanced at some early guests that gathered in the living room and then continued down the long hallway towards the bedrooms.

Jasper opened the bathroom door, leaning heavily on one of his crutches. Before Bella could blink, Edward grabbed him by his shirtfront and turned so that Jasper was pressed against the opposite wall. The breath whooshed out of him as Jasper hit the wall. The impact caused pain to shoot down his back and he groaned. Edward pressed his elbow against Jasper's neck, immobilizing him.

"I don't know what the fuck you think you're playing at," Edward began, his voice low and oddly controlled as he leaned against Jasper. "But you do not have permission to verbally abuse my sister. If I hear of it again, I will break you and I won't care if you're already injured."

Bella laid her hand on his arm. "Edward," she said quietly, trying to calm him.

Jasper pushed at Edward's arm in an effort to free himself. "Fuck off, Cullen," he growled, grimacing as pain rocketed down his back again.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The three of them froze as Alice's furious voice rang down the hall.

"Have all three of you lost your minds?! We have guests!" She marched down the hall, her cheeks bright pink in anger and embarrassment. She shoved Edward as hard as she could and he backed away from Jasper. Alice smacked her other hand against Jasper's chest to keep him in place, but turned to face her brother.

"I don't know what's gotten in to you, but I don't need you to pull the caveman, protective older brother bullshit. I'm perfectly capable of handling my relationship myself." Edward frowned down at her and started to speak, but she ignored him, turning to Bella. "And YOU! Why in the world would you run to my older brother and tattle?! What, are we five years old again?"

Bella blushed and shrank behind Edward's shoulder.

"Alice, we were just worried about you," she began, but Alice interrupted.

"I don't care what your motives were. I'm not a child and I refuse for you two to protect me as if I were. I think right now, you should both remove yourselves from this situation. Guests have begun to gather in the living room so maybe you should join them."

With one last hard look at Jasper, Edward grabbed Bella's hand and walked away, leaving Alice and Jasper alone in the gloom of the dark hallway. Neither one of them said anything for several minutes that seemed to stretch for eternity. They could hear the front door opening and closing as more guests arrived. From the living room came the sounds of Emmett emceeing a round of Rock Band. Finally Jasper shifted against the wall.

"Alice," he whispered.

"He's right," she interrupted him. "You really _don't_ have the right to speak to and treat me the way you have been." Her lower lip trembled, but she clenched her teeth and turned to face him. Jasper looked ashamed and gazed down at the top of his shoes.

"I know. I'm sorry." His voice was soft and shamed.

"You've been taking all of this anger out on me and I don't deserve it."

Jasper nodded again, still not meeting her eyes. "I could blame it on the pain killers."

"You could, but that would be weak," Alice muttered, rolling her eyes. "Or you could just admit that you've been acting like an ass. Doesn't mean I'm ready to get over it yet, but at least you'd be telling the truth then."

He sucked in a breath and leaned his head back against the wall. Annoyance bubbled up inside of him, but he did his best to tamp it back down. The last thing he needed at the moment was to lose his cool with her again.

"Look, I don't know what's going on inside of you, but I think it would behoove you to get it under control. The Jasper I still love and respect is lurking inside there somewhere." One corner of her mouth turned up just a little as she laid her hand along his cheek. In an instant, his annoyance died away and Jasper leaned into her touch slightly.

Flashing his patented grin, he looked up at her from under his eyelashes. "Does that mean you've forgiven me enough to get me some ibuprofen and a bottle of water?"

She barked out a laugh. "No way, Mister. Hobble your cute ass into the kitchen and get it yourself. I have a party to host." Tapping his cheek lightly, she turned and flounced down the hallway. Jasper grimaced, but hobbled after her, detouring into the kitchen for his water and pain medicine.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward sat in a corner of the dining room, drinking steadily and idly watching the endless rounds of Rock Band taking place in front of him. He wasn't sure where Bella disappeared to, but he missed her. He wondered if this day and night could get any more fucked up, but he doubted it.

He tossed back another double of Cuervo and cursed the minds behind that damn tortuous video game. It had forever ruined the classics for him. The room swam in front of him and he let his head fall forward until it smacked hard against the dining room table. Edward groaned softly as he felt a warm body slide onto the bench behind him. Bella's scent surrounded him and her small body pressed against his back.

"Aw, poor baby," she cooed, running her hands across his shoulder blades. Despite his inebriated state, her touch set off electric impulses along the skin under his shirt. He leaned back against her as her hand ran up along his scalp. It felt so nice that he moaned softly and let his head fall back. "Mmmmmm…does that feel good, sweetheart?"

Need for him coiled in Bella's stomach, the few drinks that she had finished earlier making her perception vague, yet somehow sharper at the same time. The rest of the world, including the hard bench under them, the discordant play drum set and Emmett squawking along with the video game, faded away until it was just her and Edward. He was so incredibly solid and firm against her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and let her hands wander down his neck and arms.

His head rested back against her shoulder and she took the opportunity to trace her tongue along the shell of his ear. He shuddered and a frisson of excitement ran through her. She sucked his earlobe into her mouth and nibbled at it with her teeth. Moving her hands under his arms, she traced circular patterns over his chest and stomach. She zeroed in on his sensitive nipples, outlining them with her fingertips until they stood up, erect and aching.

Edward captured her hands and pressed them in to his lap. His erection strained uncomfortably along the zipper of his jeans and the pressure of Bella's hands along his hardness was exquisite torture. "God, Bella, do you feel what you do to me?" Edward's breath whooshed out of his chest as her hands began to move with purpose against him. "This is what you do to me every single fucking time."

Bella whimpered softly, licking her lips and pressing her mouth between his shoulder blades. "You know, Edward, your sister has a guest room. Maybe we should move this there?"

Moving faster than she had ever seen him before, Edward pushed away from her and jumped up from the table. Even drunk, with the majority of the blood in his body pooled in his jeans, he possessed the grace of a jungle cat. Leaning forward he scooped her up and threw her over his shoulder. Ignoring the catcalls from the guests in the living room, he strode down the hall to the guest room.

Edward stepped inside the dark room and set Bella carefully down before closing and locking the door behind him. She moved away from him and switched on the small lamp beside the bed. When she turned back, the look on Edward's face caused her to suck in her breath. He studied her with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"Come here, Bella," he whispered, crooking his finger at her and motioning her forward.

"What if I don't?" Her voice came out breathy and she cleared her throat. Grinning wickedly, he took a step forward. Bella made to move back, but bumped into the bedside table. Her gaze flew back to him only to find he was standing right in front of her. Before she could say anything he lifted her and tossed her on to the bed. Bella erupted in giggles that quickly turned to soft murmuring as Edward's weight settled over her.

"When are you going to learn, sweet Bella, that I wear the pants in this relationship?" He ran his mouth along her jaw and nipped lightly with his teeth. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I do believe we share the pants in this relationship, Mr. Cullen," she said softly, moving quickly to roll them over so that she was on top. "Now let's get rid of these clothes, shall we?"

Bella skimmed her hands under Edward's shirt and pushed it up over his head. He sat up so she could pull it off him and then repeated her actions to divest herself of her sweater. Holding Bella close to him, he let his mouth glide along her collarbone and down to the valley between her breasts. Edward reached behind her and unsnapped her bra, grabbing the lace cup between his teeth and pulling it away from her body. Bella's laugh was cut off quickly as his mouth found her nipple, his tongue laving against it until her fingernails scraped the skin on the back of his shoulders.

"Edward," Bella cried, arching her back. She scraped her hands down his chest and crashed her mouth to his, fighting with his zipper. Edward rolled them again until he could push his jeans and boxer-briefs down his legs and off his feet. After unbuttoning her jeans, he tugged them down off her legs, dragging her silky boy-short panties down with them.

"Sweetheart, scoot up on the bed," Edward whispered, stroking himself as Bella watched and quickly complied with his request. He rested over her, his elbows bearing his weight. He kissed her reverently and sighed as he slid his length inside of her. She moaned and pulled her knees up towards her chest, allowing him deeper access. "Christ baby, I'm not going to last long." He sped up, the tendons in his neck and shoulders standing out in sharp relief under his skin.

Edward reached between them and pressed two fingers to her clit. Bella began to clench around him, the muscles in her legs quivering on either side of him. He closed his eyes and began to recite sports statistics in his head in an effort to maintain his control.

Bella was breathing hard and her voice was ragged when she spoke. "Edward, look at me."

He opened his eyes and gazed at her, his green meeting her brown in an open and trusting gaze. Tears welled in her eyes even as her climax burst through her, setting her nerve endings on fire and lights bursting through her head. With a strangled yell, Edward came too, pulsing inside of her.

He collapsed against Bella, breathing hard, and burying his face in her neck. She sniffed and trailed her fingertips softly along the skin of Edward's back. Goosebumps erupted along his skin and he shivered, causing her to giggle.

Edward moved off of her and tugged the corner of the blanket up so that they could slip under it. Bella settled against his shoulder and he pulled her close.

"I love you," Edward whispered, tipping her face up to kiss her softly. She smiled.

"I love you too. So much."

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Bella woke several hours later to a quiet house and a dark room. Edward slept soundly beside her, one arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other tossed over his eyes. She slipped away from him and sat on the side of the bed, reaching her arms over her head to stretch her back. Standing, Bella slipped her clothes back on and moved quietly across the room and out the door.

She wandered down the hallway toward the main living areas. She peeked in the kitchen and grimaced at the explosion of plastic cups, bottles, and dirty plates spread out across the counters. Turning the corner, Bella stopped short when she saw Jasper kicked back asleep on the couch. His mouth hung open and the muscles in his right arm twitched periodically.

Hearing a noise from the back deck, Bella crossed the living room and pushed open the screen door. Alice sat in the wooden glider, wrapped in a blanket and stirring a cup of tea, using the toe of one foot to keep herself in motion. She looked up and smiled as Bella came outside, wrapping an afghan from the back of the couch around her shoulders.

"Hi," Alice said softly, patting the seat beside her. Bella grinned and sank down onto the hard seat. They rocked slowly and silently for several minutes.

"It's good to see Jasper resting so well," Bella said, smiling. Alice nodded.

"He took a pain pill. The ibuprofen wasn't working for him."

Silence settled over them again. Bella twirled a strand of hair between her fingers and gathered her courage.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I shouldn't have run to Edward with what I witnessed between you and Jasper." Bella sighed and clasped her best friend's hand in hers. "I was just worried about you. You've been looking so worn down and sad."

Alice took a sip of her tea and nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. I haven't been taking care of myself. And I was angry." She squeezed Bella's hand before continuing. "But it's probably a good thing that Jasper got called out on his behavior. He was being an ass and his…conversation…with Edward showed him that. Plus, it gave me the push I needed him to confront him myself. We're not good yet, but we will be. We're going to be fine. No matter what's in store for Jasper and his career."

Bella scooted over on the seat and wrapped her arms around Alice's waist. She laid her head on the smaller girl's shoulder. "So we're okay then?"

Alice laughed softly and rested her cheek against Bella's hair. "Yeah, we're okay."

**o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o**

**A/N You guys were so good with reviews for the last chapter and then Real Life went and made a lying bitch out of me. Color me ashamed for not getting this out faster. You still love me right?**

**The good news is that Chapter 17 is complete and already beta-d. I just have to make the changes and publish it so it should be out this week. **


	18. Chapter 17

**** ****S. Meyer owns the characters. I own the story. And a beagle that likes to eat my shoes while I'm writing.**

**I haven't been giving Herinfiniteeyes enough credit for what she does for me. She goes beyond beta. She truly does work hard to make this effort the best it can be. I adore her for it. Truefax. =)**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for pre-reading and hanging in there with me when I turn into a needy bitch.**

**Happy New Year, my lovelies! Look! I got you a present! ****

Chapter 17

"Do you want to taste it, my sweet Bella?" Edward's silky voice teased her. She sat on her couch, blindfolded and almost quivering in anticipation. He hovered in front of her, just out of her reach. She nodded quickly and bit back a low moan. He chuckled quietly and ran one of his fingers along her bottom lip. Her tongue reached out and followed behind it; she sighed as the rich, slightly bitter taste of good dark chocolate hit her tongue.

"Stop tormenting me, Edward," she huffed, reaching out to grab his arm. He laughed again when she missed by more than a foot.

"Okay, you asked for it."

He leaned forward and pressed the spoon to her mouth, watching hungrily as her lips wrapped around the white plastic. Bella sighed as the tangy cheesecake and chocolate hit her tongue.

"Oh my God. That is so good." She reached up and pushed off the blindfold, blinking even though Edward had dimmed the lights in her apartment. She grinned and grabbed the spoon away from him. He smiled as she took another bite, closing her eyes in bliss. "Seriously, where did you get this?"

"You wound me with your assumptions. I made it, of course."

Bella's eyes flew open and she stared at him incredulously. Was it possible that he possessed such a talent as to make a perfect cheesecake and she didn't know about it? He laughed once at her expression and then settled on to the couch beside her.

"I'm lying. I got it at that new bakery down on Third Street." Bella smacked his leg playfully, but then spooned up another bite. This time she fed it to him before taking another bite for herself.

"So, now you know my weakness," Bella shook her head in playful disgust. "What are you planning to do with that knowledge?"

She glanced up and then stilled, as the playful look disappeared from Edward's face. Her heart began to pound in her chest and she dropped the spoon, licking her lips nervously. He leaned towards her, all teasing gone now.

"Well, now my dear, sweet, innocent girl…I'm going to seduce you with it." Edward framed her face with his hands, caressing her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. He pressed his tongue against the side of her mouth, licking away a small drop of chocolate that had gotten caught there.

Bella's eyes flickered closed as his mouth danced against hers, soft and supplicating. Something tugged at her subconscious; there was something that she had been trying to accomplish before Edward had shown up at her door with an impromptu dinner. But between the cheesecake and the blissful feeling of his mouth, now moving along her jaw down to her neck, her mind had gone completely blank.

Her breath shuddered out of her as his hands roamed down her sides, slipping under the hem of her shirt to caress the skin at her waist. Bella turned her head to give him better access to her neck. She gasped and her eyes flew open as he bit down lightly on the pulse point that barely concealed her thrumming heartbeat. He laughed softly again before gently soothing the spot with his tongue.

Edward wondered if he would ever get enough of the woman he held pressed against him. Leaving her at night had turned into an exercise in sheer torture. He cupped her breasts and relished the heavy feel of them in his hands. He skimmed the pads of his thumbs across her nipples. The feel and scent of Bella surrounded him and he ached to be buried deep inside her, enveloped by her soft, silky wetness.

He tore himself away from her and stood quickly, tugging at her hands until she rose and followed him to the bed. Her hands tugged at his shirt, yanking it up and over his head until she gained access to the inked skin underneath. She traced the dark ink with her fingertips before pressing her mouth to the skin over his heart.

"I love you," Bella whispered, gazing up at him. Pure emotion crashed over Edward until he thought he might drown in it. He crashed his mouth to hers without answering, sliding her unbuttoned shirt over her shoulders and down her arms.

Arms and legs tangled together as clothing ripped and buttons flew across the room. Their mouths danced together, taking and giving in equal parts. They fell to the bed and rolled until Bella hovered over him. Smiling down at Edward, she sank down on him, both of them moaning in delight as he filled her.

They began to move together; his hips thrusting upwards as hers crashed down. After several minutes, he pulled at her wrists until she fell forward onto his chest. Holding her close and without withdrawing from her warmth, Edward rolled over until he kneeled in front of her, cradled between her legs. He stroked her hips with his thumbs until Bella opened her eyes to look at him.

"This…you…will always be home to me," Edward whispered, his gaze meeting hers. Tears welled up in Bella's eyes and she sat up to kiss him fiercely. He moved within her again then and she gasped. They began to move together again. Her knees started to ache and sweat rolled down his back as he held her close to him, but neither of them tried to pull away.

Finally the dark room exploded into sunlight behind Bella's eyelids. She cried out and tightened around him, triggering his climax. They moved slowly, relishing every small tremor and shudder of each other's bodies. They collapsed together onto the bed, falling easily into sleep.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward woke several hours later. He reached out to Bella's side of the bed, but found only cool bed sheets. Disoriented from not finding her beside him, he sat up, shaking his head grumpily. He stumbled to the bathroom to relieve himself, not bothering to turn on the light.

Slipping back into the boxer brief underwear that had been divested earlier, he tiptoed over to where Bella slept on the couch. Her laptop glowed softly on the coffee table and she was surrounded by textbooks and novels for her literature class.

Edward picked up one that was heavily earmarked and glanced at the spine. He set it aside when he didn't recognize the author. He tapped the touchpad on Bella's laptop, intending to shut it down, but stopped when her class notes glowed brightly on the screen. She labeled each file by class title and date. He leaned in closer to read the title of the active file.

_England After 1690. Must be a history class._

Guilt washed through him then as he realized that she left their bed to study in the middle of the night. He truly had not been leaving her much time to work, showing up at her door after work and then distracting her with dinner and…other…activities.

Edward sat softly on the side of the couch and studied the sleeping woman in front of him. She looked young and innocent with her hair pulled back from her face and her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose. Bella shifted slightly and her eyelashes fluttered against her ivory skin. Edward smiled as her lips moved. He wondered briefly what she was discussing in her dreams. He smoothed a stray strand of dark hair back behind her ear.

Standing, he pushed the coffee table back slightly. He bent down again and scooped her up in his arms. She sighed once and murmured something.

"What was that, sweetheart?" Edward asked, laying her gently down on the bed. He slid her glasses off, folded them, and placed them on the small bedside table.

"Queen Anne…last of the House of Stuart…." Bella mumbled again sleepily.

Edward chuckled and slid under the blanket beside her. She snuggled closer to him and he wrapped his arm around her.

_I don't have the strength to stay away from her totally, but I can give her more space while I'm here, I think. It's too important that she do well these last two semesters._

Nodding his head once with resolve, he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

The brisk November wind lifted the tips of Bella's hair and swirled it around her face. She brushed it back impatiently as she turned the last corner onto her block. The early evening sun still shone brightly, painting the tree-lined street in decadent reds, oranges, and gold. Her heart practically sang with anticipation of the short week in front of her and the prospect of spending Thanksgiving with Edward and his family at the beach house. The grim phantasm of finals week hovered over her, but she refused to worry about it right now. She was a little behind in her classes since Edward constantly distracted her, but it was a tradeoff she was willing to accept. She used her free hours between classes to do homework and often studied late into the night after he was asleep. It wasn't a perfect system, but so far she wasn't doing too badly.

Sometimes it simply astounded Bella when she thought about how well things in her life were going. She was completely in love with a fantastic man who was responsible for bringing a whole new family to her life. Bella looked at Alice like a best friend at the very least, and more often as the sister she'd never had. Edward's family would never replace her father, but they brought an added dimension of feeling to her relationship with him and to her life in general.

Added to all of that was the knowledge that she only needed one more semester of classes after the current one. Graduation was so near she could almost smell it. At their meeting last week, her advisor expressed his opinion that Bella would be able to continue her education in graduate school, if she chose to go that route. She did a little pirouette in the middle of the sidewalk out of sheer joy. This was definitely one of those days when it was good to be Bella Swan.

Bella's pace picked up as she approached her house and saw Edward's car sitting out front. She smiled, glad that she'd given him his own key. Hugging her textbook to her chest, she almost skipped up to the house and through the front door. Moments later she slipped through her door at the top of the stairs. She stopped, momentarily confused by the dark stillness.

She let her bag slip to the floor and fumbled for the light switch. Bella turned as the small lamp bathed the room in its golden glow.

Edward sat on the end of the bed, watching her movements. She stepped towards him, her smile faltering as she studied his expression.

"Edward, are you okay?" Bella asked softly, reaching one hand towards him even as her legs faltered. He sat hunched forward, his elbows resting on his knees. Suddenly he groaned and let his head fall forward into his hands. Frightened, Bella moved forward again. She gasped as his hands shot out and pulled her roughly to him.

"Just give me a minute, okay?" He asked quietly. He wound his arms around her hips and rested his head against her stomach. His breath shuddered in and out of his chest. _How am I going to tell her?_

That afternoon when his commander broke the news to the rest of the company as they waited in formation, Edward couldn't help the flash-bang burst of excitement that coursed through him. It was only as he drove to Bella's that the reality sank in. Every fear the two of them had fought down after the past two weeks rushed into Edward's mind as he rested against her. His stomach churned and threatened to revolt, painting the back of his throat in acid. More than anything he worried that Bella would leave when he told her.

She stood quietly, stroking his head and shoulders with her hands. For several minutes the only sounds in her apartment were his harsh breathing and the whir of the heating system. The sound of a door slamming echoed up from the first floor, but they both ignored it.

Finally she pulled back and tilted his face up towards her. A cold ball of dread formed in her chest and she swallowed back the fear that was threatening to overwhelm her.

"Edward, you're scaring me," Bella whispered, kneeling in front of him and running her hands over his face. "Just tell me what's going on. What happened?"

"We got our orders today. They're deploying us."

Bella felt the floor tip from under her as her mind raced to track all the implications of his words. Her hands began to shake and she fought back sudden tears.

"Okay," she said softly. "When are you going?"

Edward watched her taking it all in and thought he might be sick as he watched her face go pale and tears well in her eyes. Was it really just six months ago that joining the Army had still seemed like such a worthy ambition? He would give it all up in that moment to protect her from this.

"January. No later than the twenty-fifth," he answered finally. "They can't or won't tell us anything more specific than that."

Bella nodded once as her lip began to tremble. Edward rested his forehead against hers.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I truly didn't think that we would get orders so soon."

"So soon. Two months. It's not enough time," Bella's voice caught in her throat and she bit her lip in an attempt to stifle the sobs that threatened to erupt from her.

"Come here." Edward's eyes misted over as he pulled her up into his lap. She settled with her legs around his waist and buried her face in his neck. Finally she could hold back no longer and let the tears come in the form of noisy sobs that rocked them both.

Edward stroked her back and whispered nonsense words of comfort as silent tears streaked down his face.

**o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o**

**A/N Le sigh. I may or may not have cried a little writing that last part. **

**I wish for you all a very, very happy, healthy New Year!**


	19. Chapter 18

**** As usual, I don't own anything except the storyline. And an amazeballs Pandora station that keeps me going. **

**Thanks to Herinfiniteeyes for fixing my mistakes and ZephyerSky for pre-reading and advice-giving. I adore them both so very much.**

**Please see the end-note for, well, a note. ****

Chapter 18

Edward couldn't remember the last time he had dreaded going to his parent's beach house so much. Sure, things were always tense around Carlisle, at least at first, but he always enjoyed seeing his parents and hanging out with his friends in the sand. This feeling of trepidation was new. It didn't help that Emmett and Rosalie had decided to travel to her parents' house for the holiday so that Alice and Jasper would be the only buffer over the weekend.

Local towns and gorgeous autumn scenery flew past the window as his car ate up the miles. A NPR announcer droned on in a calm, soothing voice and Edward wondered briefly if everybody on the station was required to attend a special training to make their voices sound like that. He glanced over at Bella's profile as she stared out the window. Her hand rested in his on the console between them, but she sat without speaking. She had remained fairly quiet since he'd broken the deployment news to her three days before.

"We can turn on some music, if you would prefer," he offered, breaking the relative silence in the vehicle.

"Hmmm?" Bella turned to him absentmindedly. Then she shook her head. "No, that's okay. This is fine." She smiled quickly and then turned back to the window.

The car was silent again except for the NPR announcer. Edward drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, fighting back the impatience that threatened his control on his irritation.

"Do you want to stop and get something to eat?"

Bella sighed. "No, I'd rather just get there."

"You don't need to stretch your legs or use the bathroom or anything?"

"No, Edward. I've already said I'm fine." Her voice lashed through the car like a whip. Bella removed her hand from his and ran her fingers through her hair. The muscle in Edward's jaw twitched as he tensed.

"Christ, Bella, are you just never going to speak to me again?" He spoke softly through clenched teeth. He didn't see her roll her eyes.

"Stop being so melodramatic. I _am_ talking to you. What do you want to talk about?" She turned in her seat so that her body was facing him. Edward shook his head and reached for the cigarettes in the console. He lit one, inhaling deeply as Bella watched with one eyebrow quirked. "I thought you wanted to talk, Edward. So let's talk. What would you like to talk about, hmm?"

Still he said nothing, nostrils flaring as he attempted to reign in his temper. Several minutes passed as he smoked and she glared. Finally Bella spoke again, sarcasm dripping from her words.

"Well, when you have a topic of conversation in mind, you let me know and we'll talk about it." She turned back to the window, trying to ignore the tears pressing against the backs of her eyelids. Ever since his announcement, Bella felt like she was only barely containing her grip on her emotions. Edward muttered something under his breath and Bella whipped back around.

"You wanna talk?! Fine, let's fucking talk. Let's talk about the fact that you'll be gone for a year. That you'll miss my college graduation. And my birthday. And Christmas. And fucking Valentine's Day. Let's talk about the fact that you're going somewhere where people are going to be trying to fucking shoot you. They're going to try to blow you up. So, yes, let's talk about where you're going and how sometimes people don't fucking come back and sometimes when they do come back, they're missing pieces or emotionally disturbed and trying to kill their wives or girlfriends. Stuff like this bothers me, Edward. So you'll have to fucking forgive me if I don't want to FUCKING TALK ABOUT IT!" Bella stopped, her throat aching from unshed tears and from the yelling.

To her surprise, Edward whipped his car off the road, sending gravel flying as he stomped the brake and threw it into park. He got out, slamming the door as hard as he could. He stalked away from the car and stood with his hands on his hips, staring into the trees that lined the roadway. Bella stayed in the car, trying desperately to hold onto her anger. Anger was safe; it kept away the fear that constantly threatened to drown her.

Finally guilt spurred her into action, so she got out of the car, shutting the door gently behind her. She took a few tentative steps. "Edward," she said quietly.

"Stop." He shook his head and tossed away the butt of his cigarette before turning to her. Tears welled in Bella's eyes again at the look on his face. He was furious, but he was also hurt. "You've had your say, now I think it's about time I had mine. You think this is some goddamn picnic for me? You think it's easy for me to know I'll be missing all of those events in our lives? Do you think I feel _good_ about missing all of that time with you? You think maybe I don't worry that you'll decide that this life isn't for you and I'll get a 'Dear Edward' letter while I'm over there? You think I don't wonder about you meeting someone else while I'm gone or that I don't worry about you being here by yourself, all alone? There are a lot of bad things that happen to women on their own, Bella; car accidents, home invasions, carjacking, and on and on and on. You think I don't worry about not being here to fucking protect you from all of that?"

Tears slid unchecked down Bella's cheeks at his words, but he refused to relent.

"The fact remains that I'm doing my best to hold us together. I'm doing my goddamn best to make these last two months together full of good memories. But for every fucking wall I tear down, you erect two in its place and it's getting goddamn old. I told you weeks ago that I could handle your fear, but not you blocking me out and I meant it. So you decide. You decide right fucking now, Bella. Because I'm not putting up with this bullshit for the next two months. You decide if this is something that you can handle and if it's not then you need to walk away."

Bella's silent tears turned to sobs and she wrapped her arms around her waist. Still he stood unmoving, watching her even though his heart was breaking and even though he felt like the world's biggest asshole for not going to her, for not comforting her. After several minutes, she brushed her hands over her face and pushed her hair back.

"You're right and I'm sorry," she croaked, her throat raw from the tears and emotion. "I've been unfair to you, but it truly has been just fear. The only thing I can promise is to try to not give into it again. Just please," her voice broke and she looked away until she regained control. "Please don't leave."

He let himself feel cautious relief, not truly believing that this would be the last time that they dealt with this issue. Edward closed the distance between them, crushing Bella to him and molding his mouth to hers in a scorching kiss. He tangled his hands in her hair before pulling away to rest his forehead against hers.

"Sweetheart, can you please just _talk_ to me when you start feeling like that?" He laughed softly and sniffed. After a minute, he grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the car. "We've got to get going. Esme will skin us both if we're late for Thanksgiving dinner." They settled back into the car and Edward eased back onto the highway.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

They ended up being only half an hour late. Esme studied their faces for several minutes before letting them in without comment. She knew something was wrong, but figured they would share when it was necessary. Carlisle greeted them quietly, his mouth compressed into a thin line at their tardiness.

The table was set, the turkey consumed, and the wine poured. Both Bella and Edward conversed easily with his parents and with Alice and Jasper, who were also down for the weekend. After dinner, Carlisle and Jasper sat down at the chessboard where they tried to out-maneuver one another. Alice and Bella cleared the table while Edward helped Esme load the dishwasher.

Eventually they all ended up in the den where Jasper had finally called "checkmate" on Carlisle. Edward settled on the loveseat beside Bella, tangling his fingers with hers. He looked around and sighed once.

"Mom, Dad, can we talk to you for a minute?"

The room went silent. Since they knew what was coming, Alice let Jasper pull her down onto his lap, her tears already threatening. Esme glanced up at Edward, her smile fading at the serious look on his face. She nodded and set aside the cross-stitch that she'd picked up. Carlisle sat on the arm of the couch beside Esme, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, instinctively attempting to protect her.

The room went silent as everyone waited for Edward to speak. Sensing his nerves, Bella rubbed her hand over his back to comfort him. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"Um," he began. Then he broke off and looked at Bella, panicking slightly at having to break the news to his parents. She smiled at him and then turned to Carlisle and Esme.

"What Edward is trying to say is that he is going to have a chance to use his training and be a part of history. His unit is being deployed at the end of January." Edward squeezed her hand appreciatively, pressing a kiss to her hair. There was a stunned silence, and then Carlisle shook his head and stalked from the room, stepping out onto the deck to look over the water.

Esme rose from the couch and knelt in front of Edward and Bella. She pressed her lips together in an attempt to keep her composure.

"My darling boy, I'm so proud of you. And as hard as the next year will be, just remember that your father and I love you very much and you will never be far from our hearts." She pressed a kiss to Edward's forehead and rose. He stood with her and gathered his mother into his arms.

"I love you, Mom," he whispered. The now familiar tears pooled in Bella's eyes again as she watched their interaction. She glanced over to see that Alice had her face buried in Jasper's neck, her shoulders shaking.

Esme pulled back from Edward and smiled a watery smile. "Go to your father, Edward. He'll be having a hard time with this." Edward nodded curtly and followed Carlisle's path to the back deck. Esme sank onto the couch beside Bella and wrapped her arms around the younger girl. "Oh my dear, how I dread this for you." She gathered Bella to her chest as her tears spilled over. "But I don't want you to think that just because Edward leaves that you get to leave us too. You're a member of this family now and you're just as welcome here after he leaves as you are now. I want you to remember that." Bella nodded and sniffed. Alice moved from Jasper's lap and sat down beside Bella, wrapping her arms around both of the other women.

Outside, Edward stepped out onto the deck, taking a moment to breathe deeply of the cold, salty air rushing in from the sea. He studied Carlisle's profile and it occurred to him for the first time that his father was getting older. He was still handsome, but there were definitely more grey hair mixed in with the blonde. Every time Edward saw him, there were more lines around his eyes and the skin around his chin sagged a little more. With an ache in his chest, Edward realized that after being gone a year, his father's age would be even more apparent.

"Dad," he said, laying his hand on the older man's shoulder. Carlisle hastily swiped at his damp eyes. "I know that was hard for you to hear."

Carlisle barked out a harsh laugh. "That it was, son. I didn't want this for you." His voice broke and he stopped. Edward tensed beside him, but didn't say anything. Carlisle continued softly. "No, I didn't want this for you. But that doesn't mean that I'm not incredibly proud of you. I'm scared for you, but you've grown into the kind of man that any father would be proud of."

Edward looked at him in shock. He couldn't remember the last time Carlisle had said anything so complimentary of him.

"Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me."

Carlisle nodded as his lip began to tremble. He turned suddenly and pulled Edward into a fierce hug. Both pairs of green eyes were damp when they pulled away.

Behind them, Jasper cleared his throat, causing them to turn. He carried a tray in his free hand with three tumblers full of amber liquid.

"Seems like the females are doing their bonding thing in the living room, so I thought we could all use an after dinner drink." He grinned and offered a glass to Carlisle and then to Edward. "Cheers, gentlemen." The three of them clinked their glasses together and sipped the whiskey appreciatively.

They stood watching the tide roll out for a few minutes before Jasper spoke again.

"I, um, realize that this is spectacularly bad timing on my part, but there is actually something I wanted to speak to the two of you about." He took a large gulp from his glass, eyeing Edward and Carlisle nervously. They watched as he fumbled in his pocket for a minute. Setting his glass down on the railing, he pulled a small box out of his pocket. Glancing around to make sure that Alice and the other women weren't around, he flipped the top open to reveal a shiny white gold engagement ring with a small diamond in its center.

"Look, I know that I don't deserve to have her in my life. And I know that we haven't been dating that long, really. But I know with every bone in my body that Alice is the only one for me. And…well…um…I'm hoping that I have your blessings to ask her to marry me."

He closed the lid to the ring box with a snap and slipped it back into his pocket. He glanced nervously between Edward and Carlisle, trying to gauge their reactions. Edward's eyes narrowed.

"What about all of that shit that happened at the party?" He asked, watching as Jasper's face flushed red. Carlisle cocked an eyebrow questioningly, but Jasper didn't back down.

"Well, now, she and I are still working through all of that. I know I was being a jackass. Like I said before, I know I don't deserve her. And I'm not going to propose this weekend. I won't ask her until we…well, really I…get my head screwed on straight. But I wanted you two to know that I was planning it and, like I said, hopefully get your blessings."

Edward took another drink and gazed back out over the sea while Carlisle studied Jasper, who was doing his best not to flinch under his gaze. Carlisle sighed suddenly.

"Jasper, somehow I think I knew it was going to come to this the first time my girl brought you home to meet us. Assuming that this is what she wants and she says yes, then you have my blessing." He clapped his hand on Jasper's shoulder and squeezed. Relief flooded through Jasper and he smiled as he turned to Edward. Finally Edward turned to face him.

"Who am I to say no if my dad agrees? Just remember what I said at the party. It still applies." He grinned suddenly and threw an arm around Jasper's shoulders. "Overall, I'd say that it would be an honor to call you brother, brother."

Carlisle chuckled and then drained his glass. "All of this emotion on top of your mother's good food has worn me out. I'm off to bed. See you guys in the morning." He clapped Edward on the shoulder and drifted back inside, wishing Bella and Alice goodnight and pulling Esme to the bedroom with him.

Jasper limped back inside on one crutch, passing Bella in the hallway. Edward watched her through the glass as she smiled and reached up to peck Jasper on the cheek. He smiled watching her, amazed again by her beauty and simple grace. She stepped out on to the deck, pulling the door closed behind her. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she tilted her head back and grinned up at him.

"What are you smiling about?"

Edward laughed softly and kissed her. She hummed quietly, enjoying the flavor of the whiskey on his tongue.

"I'm smiling because I have an incredibly beautiful girlfriend that I love immensely." He kissed her again and slipped his free hand into the back pocket of her jeans. She felt him harden against her side. He captured her ear lobe in his mouth and nibbled at it. "And now I'm wondering if my sexy, beautiful, incredible girlfriend is ready to go up to bed where I can make her forget all about real life for awhile."

Bella pulled away, grabbing Edward's hand and tugging him along behind her.

"I think she is very ready for that."

**o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o**

**A/N I know that I've been terribly fail at updating lately. I could give you a bunch of excuses and they would all be valid, but in the end they're just excuses. I was sick. Work was hectic. In the end, it boils down to the fact that this story is getting very difficult for me to write. It's starting to hit very close to home for me emotionally. No worries though, I'm not abandoning it.**

**Also, I tweet about writing quite a bit, so if you want, you can follow me on Twitter and find out if/why I'm being fail at the moment. pangeforprez **

**So here's a quick question: what's the best marriage proposal you've ever seen? Was it to you, by you, or one you witnessed? And are any of you interested in a Jalice proposal outtake from this story? Review and let me know. =)**


	20. Chapter 19

**** Once again, I don't own.**

**Thanks to Herinfiniteeyes for being awesomesauce. I hope real life lets up on you soon. {{{hugs}}}**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for pre-reading this multiple times.**

**I'm in the process of finding another beta. So any mistakes are mine & mine alone. **

**Please see the end for an important note. I really mean it this time. ****

Chapter 19

_Describe the transfer of power from the House of Stuart to the House of Hanover. Be precise and specific._

Bella read the question and then reread it a second time. Facts filtered into her brain and then flitted away before she could wrestle them down onto the paper. Sighing, she used her spare blue book to jot down notes. She hated finals like this one when her entire grade depended on how she answered one question.

Her pen stilled and she leaned her head heavily on her arm.

Finals week had been a complete nightmare so far, but thankfully this was the last one on her schedule. It had been two weeks since the Thanksgiving trip to Edward's parent's beach house and she couldn't concentrate on anything except him. They spent their nights wrapped around each other and she spent her days obsessively checking her phone for messages or missed phone calls from him.

Her appetite was non-existent and she couldn't concentrate on studying. She began to spend her time scouring the Internet for any stories from the current combat zone. Bella also wasn't sleeping well. At night, once Edward drifted off, she usually got out of bed to scribble her thoughts frantically in a journal. It was the only way she knew to hold on to her sanity in the midst of all of her fear.

But always, always in the early morning hours, she would slip back into bed beside him. He would shift without waking, wrapping his arms around her to warm her. It was then, with her thoughts emptied into her journal and with him wrapped around her, that she could find a few hours solace in sleep.

Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs, Bella glanced at her watch, cursing under her breath when she realized that she'd been daydreaming for almost half an hour. Tying her hair back, she reread the question one more time and then got to work.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Later that afternoon, Bella listened to a voicemail from Edward as she walked back to her apartment from campus.

"_Hey, it's me. I had some gear that I needed to wash before I packed it. I hope it's okay that I brought it to your place where I had some room to spread it out. I love you. I'll see you tonight."_

Bella smiled before pressing the button to delete the message. She wondered briefly as she trudged up the stairs what kind of equipment would be spread around when she opened her door.

Swinging the door open, she stopped suddenly in the doorway and dropped her bag in shock. It looked like an Army surplus store had vomited all over her apartment. Every flat surface and a few non-flat surfaces were covered in camouflage gear. Bella closed the door behind her and picked her way past several unidentifiable items.

"Some gear, my ass," she muttered angrily, trying to make her way to the kitchen for a glass of water. She could feel the blood rushing to her face as her temper flared. She took a swallow of her water and then dumped the rest of the glass out into the sink. Grumbling to herself, she turned to make her way back to her bag when something caught her eye on the counter.

Bella stopped in mid-motion. She reached a trembling hand toward the gas mask that looked so out of place beside her Tinkerbell coffee mug. It conjured up nightmare images in her mind, but she couldn't help reaching out to touch it. She picked it up and traced one fingertip over the rough material of the hood. She shivered as a vision of Edward's smoky green eyes behind the plastic guard popped into her mind. Fear swamped over her, making her nauseous, and she dropped the mask where she stood. Bella picked her way back through the maze of camo and picked up her bag before going to the window seat to clear herself a spot. Sinking down into the cushions, she pulled her notebook out of her bag and began to write.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Edward found her there several hours later, curled up in the fetal position, facing the window with her notebook open across her hip. He paused for a minute to study her, concerned that she didn't wake up when he came in. He used his fingertip to lightly trace the bruise-like circles under her eyes.

He didn't miss the implications of her position. Bella curled protectively in on herself, her knees pulled into her chest and her arms twisted together under her head. He could tell her sleep was not peaceful; her lips moved constantly as she muttered her dreams aloud. Sighing, he sat on the edge of the bed to watch her.

Bella was still such a mystery to him. Every time he thought he understood why she did something, her motivations would shift again and leave him floundering. He grinned suddenly as he realized that this wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It kept him on his toes in the best way possible. His grin faded as the reality sank in. Bella was hurting, losing weight and not sleeping, and the same characteristic that intrigued him was also stopping him from helping her.

Sighing again, he reached out and gently picked up her notebook. He weighed it in his hands before flipping quickly through the pages. The entries started from before they even met and Bella mostly discussed her classes or the people she came into contact with at her diner job. Impatiently, he flipped towards the most recent entries in the back. These were harried, the handwriting sloppy and the themes dark. It seemed she worried constantly about the upcoming deployment, about his safety, and if their relationship could withstand the separation. Brow furrowed, Edward flipped a couple of pages.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Bella's voice was icy and shocked him into slamming the notebook shut. He looked up at her and couldn't help but smile. She was gorgeous, her mahogany hair a riot around her shoulders and her cheeks flushed with sleep. Her eyes were angry, but she still looked more rested than when he had kissed her goodbye that morning.

"I don't know what you're smiling about. Give me that." She snatched the book from his hands and hugged it to her chest, sinking back down onto the window seat. She glared at him and waited for his response.

Rubbing his hand over his eyes, Edward couldn't help but sigh again. "It seems like I'm always apologizing to you these days." He opened his eyes and regarded her steadily. "I'm sorry for being intrusive, sweetheart. It was rude of me. Are you angry at me again?"

To his surprise, tears welled up in her eyes and she hung her head forward so that her hair curtained around her face. She looked like a lost little girl sitting there like that and his heart almost broke in two. Edward got up from the bed and moved to sit beside her on the window seat. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Can you tell me?"

Her only response was a small sob and then she pulled away. He let her go reluctantly and watched as she opened the notebook and flipped through the pages. She stopped at an almost empty page and then silently handed the book to him, biting her lip nervously.

Edward slowly took it from her and began to read.

_Harbor_

_My anger is explosive._

_It rages through me and around me_

_lashing at culprits and bystanders alike_

_stinging with acidic words_

_shouted at top volume._

_No one is saved from the Category 5._

_My anger is explosive._

_And yet._

_It is safe._

_Safer than the heartbreak_

_that steals my breath directly from my chest._

_Safer than the sorrow_

_that sends me into the dark_

_folded in half, weeping._

_Anger is the harbor_

_sorrow is the storm._

He traced the last lines of the poem as he repeated them in his head. He knew it was difficult for Bella to share her writing with anyone, even him, and it meant a lot that she had. He closed her notebook and swallowed hard against the lump in his throat before he looked at her.

Bella's eyes were bright with unshed tears and she nibbled at her thumbnail nervously. Edward leaned in to her and placed his hand against the side of her face. She responded instantly, closing her eyes and leaning into him.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I understand," he whispered. Bella nodded and then crawled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her as she wound hers around his neck.

She rested against him for several minutes, relishing the roughness of his uniform against her skin and the musky smell of him after a day at work. He was solid and warm and _there_. Bella kissed him softly, resolving to enjoy the time that she still had with him before he left.

"Hi," she whispered against his mouth. She felt more than saw him grin.

"Hi," he murmured.

"I'm sorry if my moods are giving you whiplash." Bella trailed kisses along his jaw to his ear. He hummed quietly, kissing her shoulder where her t-shirt had slipped down her arm.

"It's okay. Crazy looks good on you." She gasped and then dissolved into giggles, smacking her hand against his bicep playfully.

"Hmph. Just for that, I'm not going to let you take me out to celebrate my last final being over." She crossed her arms between them, narrowing her eyes. Edward grabbed her wrists and tugged until her arms uncrossed.

"That's awesome, baby! I have just the idea of what we can do to celebrate. But you'll have to wait until Saturday." He kissed the inside of each of her wrists and smiled happily up at her. An immense feeling of love wound its way through Bella's body at the sight of his smile. Leaning down, she kissed him fiercely, her open mouth hot against his.

Pulling away slightly, Bella slid her hands down his chest, tugging at the Velcro releases on his jacket until they ripped away. "That sounds great, love. But I had something more immediate in mind." She smirked as heat flared in his eyes and his hands slid down her body to cup her ass.

"Oh, I think we can accommodate both celebrations."Holding her against him, he lurched away from the window seat and to the bed.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

Two days later, on Saturday evening, Bella nervously paced the small space in front of her front door as she waited on Edward to arrive. Twilight painted the windows a dark blue and shrouded her apartment in shadows. She left one small lamp to burn in the corner as she waited. Edward's plans for the evening remained a mystery. He told her to dress nicely and be prepared to not return until morning.

Bella plucked restlessly at her dress. The soft black fabric clung to her curves and the short length of the skirt, paired with black tights and high heels, made her legs look a mile long, but the long sleeves would help to keep her warm in the December air. She chuckled softly as she thought about how the plunging neckline would torture Edward for the evening. She felt elegant and beautiful with her hair twisted into a knot at the nape of her neck and smoky makeup playing up her dark eyes.

A soft knock at the door caused her to jolt. Chiding herself for being silly, it was just Edward after all, she patted her hair again and then unlocked and opened the door.

They each stared wordlessly at the other. Bella realized that she'd never seen Edward in a tie before, much less anything similar to the suit he was clothed in now. The charcoal gray wool skimmed lightly over his body, the emerald green tie sparking the green in his eyes.

Fighting the urge to yank him forward by his tie and rip off his suit, Bella smiled. "You look so handsome."

Edward's eyes yanked back up to meet hers from somewhere around her waist. She giggled. "I take it you like my dress." She made to turn away to grab her bag, but he captured her hand and tugged until she crashed against him.

His breath was hot against her ear when he spoke and she shivered. "You look amazing…sexy….gorgeous…hot….incredibly fucking beautiful." One of his hands trailed up her thigh underneath her dress; his other hand curled around her neck as he punctuated each word with an open-mouth kiss along her jaw. Bella's knees began to shake as his mouth finally met hers. His hands drifted until they settled around her hips, holding her close enough that his now-prominent erection pressed into her stomach. Bella sighed and pulled away, her head swimming.

"Edward?" He leaned down and pressed his lips to the exposed skin on her chest, humming happily as he ignored her words. Bella laughed and gave in to the urge to tug on his tie. Finally Edward raised his head and she kissed him quickly, tugging away from him to reach for her bag. "Edward, you said we had reservations, remember?"

He groaned and adjusted himself, eyeing the round curve of Bella's hips in the snug short skirt. Holding his right hand out to Bella, he grabbed her bag in his left. Smiling, he let her lock her door and then led her down the stairs into the cold night.

To Bella's surprise, Edward drove straight through the downtown area and soon they were on the ramp getting on the interstate.

"Ummm…Edward? I thought we had reservations?"

He grinned and slid the hand resting on her knee a little further up her thigh. "We do. I never said that they were somewhere in town." Bella smiled and wrapped his wandering hand in hers.

Forty-five minutes later Bella stared open-mouthed as Edward drove slowly down a long, quiet drive. Huge trees lined the sides and middle of the road and each one was laced with hundreds of twinkling white Christmas lights. She gasped softly as a sprawling mid-century hotel came into view. Edward couldn't fight his grin as he watched her from the corner of his eye.

Bella remained speechless as they pulled into the circular drive and a smiling valet jogged out to meet them. The valet opened Bella's door and helped her from the car where she just stood and looked around in wonder. The elegant two-story brick building had an understated charm with its white columns and wrought-iron detailing. It was currently decorated for Christmas with green wreaths wound with red ribbons in each window and white lights wound around the columns and overhangs.

"Come on, sweetheart. The valet's going to take care of our bags. We'll check in after dinner." Edward captured her hand in his and attempted to pull her with him, but she didn't budge.

"Edward," she whispered, tugging on his hand until he stepped closer. "This is the Faraday Hotel! You can't afford this, can you?"

He rolled his eyes, but leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Bella, it's not like I'm destitute. And we're only staying one night. Although I'd give you a week here if I could." He placed a finger under chin and tilted her face up until she was looking at him instead of the hotel. "Happy end-of-the-semester, love." He kissed her softly and then led her inside to eat dinner.

o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o - o

They ate dinner surrounded by understated elegance; soft white linen tablecloths and napkins, fine china plates and delicate wineglasses, their faces alternately shadowed and illuminated by the flickering candles in front of them. By the end of the main course, Bella's cheeks were flushed from the wine. Edward caught himself wishing he had a camera with him to capture the beautiful blush on her cheeks, the rose tint on her lips and the shimmer of her brown eyes. His heart ached as he thought about leaving her, but pushed it away before the gloom could descend and ruin their night.

They moved from dinner back to the front desk where a smiling attendant checked them into their room on the second floor and promised that the valet would have their bags in the room by the time they got there. Edward looped his arm around Bella's shoulders and guided her back through the winding corridors of the rambling building. They came to a bridge built over the indoor creek and Bella leaned over the railing, utterly charmed by the rainbow of fish that swam back and forth.

Edward stood behind her, framing her in his arms, simultaneously protecting her from losing her balance and drinking in the scent of her, fresh and inviting. He skimmed his nose along the curve of her neck, suddenly impatient to get her upstairs to their room.

"Bella, love, do you think we can look at the fish tomorrow?" He pressed his hips into her backside to illustrate his frustration. She laughed breathlessly and turned. This time she grabbed his hand and tugged him along.

They fell into the room, lips already joined, feverishly tasting and nipping at each other. Finally Edward pulled away and smoothed his hands down Bella's cheeks and rested them on her shoulders. Smiling, he stepped away and put his iPod on the dock provided in the room.

Shrugging out of his jacket, he winked at Bella, still standing just inside the door. "I know you like the angst-y rock chicks from the nineties. I found this song and it made me want to hold you." He took a few steps as the first notes of the sultry ballad drifted out of the speaker behind him. He extended his hand to her and grinned a half-grin. "Will you dance with me, Bella?"

She moved to him, leaning into his warmth. The music filled her head and made her dizzy so she clung to him. Bella rested her head on his shoulder, her face turned in towards him. They swayed slowly back and forth for several minutes until Edward pulled back and began to stroke his hands over her hair and face.

His fingertips caught in the shoulders of Bella's dress and pushed until it slid down her arms and pooled at her feet. He smirked at her before licking his lips in anticipation. The fire that had been banked by the romance of their dance blazed back to life in her stomach, causing her skin to tingle.

"My Bella, you are so beautiful."

Edward's fingers tangled into the knot of hair at the nape of her neck and tugged lightly until it uncoiled, the pins raining down onto the carpet. Bella laughed and ran her own hand through her hair, assuring that there were none left. He pulled her back to him, skimming his mouth lightly from one of her shoulders, across her collarbone to the other shoulder. Before Bella could move, Edward scooped her up and laid her gently down on the bed.

She wanted desperately to catalog everything, to take a mental snapshot of each and every moment. But his hands stroked softly along her skin, sliding her tights down over her hips and legs. Each touch acted like a drug until there was only sensation, the scrape of his stubble across her stomach, the rasp of his tongue on her breast, the soft tickle from the patch of hair on his chest. Her first orgasm was a surprise, exploding through her.

Slowly things began to come back into focus. Bella attempted to sit up and push Edward over onto his back, but he resisted. Grinning at her, he captured her wrists in his much larger hands and pinned them above her head.

"Nope. Tonight's your celebration, completely about you."

He slid into her slowly, resting his forehead against hers briefly in an attempt to tamp down the need that begged him to chase his own release. Edward finally let go of her hands as he began to move, her hips rising to meet his.

They moved languidly, smoothly, until Bella crested gently, her climax a white-hot slow burn that echoed through her body. Edward followed soon after with a hoarse cry.

He rested against her for a few minutes before rolling over and tugging her over to lie on him. She rested against his chest, listening to his heartbeat slowly calm under her ear. His hand traced a lazy pattern on her back and she sighed contentedly.

"I love you," she whispered. He tilted her chin up so that she was blinking sleepily up at him. He kissed her gently and then lay back, enjoying the feeling of her nuzzling into the curve of his neck, her hair tickling his chin.

Finally, just as Bella's breath started to even out in her sleep, Edward answered her.

"Always."

**** The song I had in mind is "Slow Like Honey" by Fiona Apple. Go here to listen: ****www. Youtube. com/ watch?v= DQGy9xIrn7w**** A little warning, just listen, the video is kinda creepy. LOL**

**Also, the poem is completely original. You can find it and others like it on my personal blog: www (dot) pangewritesstuff (dot) wordpress (dot) com.**

**Ok, now for the really important stuff. I'm a little irritated with some of the stuff happening on this site lately. Although I don't think my stories are popular enough to be at risk for being pulled, I don't want to risk it. This story is on Twilighted and I'm working to get caught up with it over there, as well as getting my one-shots posted there.**

**I've also begun to post my stories over at The Writer's Coffee Shop. You can find my profile page at this address: thewriterscoffeeshop (dot) com/nickpage (dot) php?user=1050 I'll still be posting here until I feel like I can't anymore or until my stuff gets ganked.**

**Also, thanks to ZephyerSky for starting a thread on the LTT forum for this story. I love her for that, even though nobody's posted in it, which makes me ::sadpanda::. LOL ** **


	21. Chapter 20

**** As usual, I don't own the characters. **

**Thanks to MyCrookedSmile for doing an awesome job beta-ing. =)**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for pre-reading several times and for letting me have custody of the brain long enough to finish this. LOL**

**Please read the A/N at the end for update info. ****

_From Chapter 19:_

_He rested against her for a few minutes before rolling over and tugging her over to lie on him. She rested against his chest, listening to his heartbeat slowly calm under her ear. His hand traced a lazy pattern on her back and she sighed contentedly._

_"I love you," she whispered. He tilted her chin up so that she was blinking sleepily up at him. He kissed her gently and then lay back, enjoying the feeling of her nuzzling into the curve of his neck, her hair tickling his chin._

_Finally, just as Bella's breath started to even out in her sleep, Edward answered her._

_"Always."_

Chapter 20

Time passed, even though Bella tried desperately to hang on to every moment. Whole days went by in the blink of an eye. She often found herself panicked at the end of a day, wondering how it had slipped through her fingers so quickly.

She woke late one morning in early January and stretched in the rays of deceptively warm sunshine streaming through her window. For thirty blissful seconds, the smell of Edward on the pillow next to her lulled her with memories of their lovemaking the night before. Bella flushed at the memory of his skin slick against hers as he moved over her.

But then reality crushed down on her, forcing her to curl inwards, crossing her arms over her waist. Dread twisted her stomach into knots and she forced herself to breathe evenly in and out. For once, there was no temptation to cry and her eyes remained dry.

Bella forced herself to think rationally. She knew that they were no longer talking weeks until he left, only days. She realized that she didn't know what to expect from the experience. She wondered where they would say goodbye and if he would be able to email or call fairly regularly. She found that she was curious about what his living conditions would be like and even how he would deal with his Dunkin' Donuts coffee addiction while there.

Stretching out on her back, Bella lifted her arm to watch the new bracelet on her wrist shimmer in the light. A Christmas present from Edward, the delicate white gold band rose and fell in waves, interrupted intermittently by six brilliant blue sapphires. Bella smiled and tenderly fingered the graceful metal.

Edward gifted the bracelet to her in front of his parents, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie on Christmas morning. But infinitely more precious to her was the gift that he'd chosen to give to her privately.

- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o – o -

He waited until they were alone in his bedroom on Christmas night. She lay drowsily on his chest, idly stroking her fingertips across his skin and enjoying the goose bumps that popped up under her attentions. Bella realized that Edward was drumming his fingers restlessly against his hip.

"Edward," she said softly, resting her hand on his to still it. "What's wrong? You're so restless tonight."

He ran his hand across his hair before looking down at her.

"I have one more gift for you, sweetheart." He sat up and reached into his bag on the floor by the bed.

Bella sat up and crossed her legs in front of her. Gifts tended to make her rather uncomfortable, but it was okay since it was just she and Edward now. She heard clinking, but when he turned back around she couldn't see anything in his hands.

"Close your eyes and hold out your hands." Edward grinned expectantly at her.

Rolling her eyes, Bella complied, cupping her hands in front of her. She waited patiently until she felt a cool metal chain slink into her hands.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

Edward laughed. "Of course."

It took her several moments to make sense of what she was holding and another almost full minute to force her voice to work around the lump in her throat.

"I was hoping you would wear these while I was gone," Edward whispered.

Bella held the silver dog tags gently, tracing one finger reverentially over the information embossed into the metal. She blinked quickly against her tears and then looped the chain around her neck, tucking the information plates under shirt so that they rested cool against her skin.

Unfolding her legs, she settled herself into Edward's lap, wrapping her arms around him.

"Thank you. I promise I'll wear them everyday." She kissed him then, letting the fire burn through them hot and slow.

o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o – o -

Edward stood against the wall at the company with his leg tucked up behind him. Emmett leaned companionably beside him as they both smoked in silence. Soldiers walked purposefully back and forth around them as the officers prepared to inspect the bags that they were shipping out with.

"Rosalie's pregnant," Emmett said suddenly.

Edward turned to him in surprise. He grinned at the ecstatic expression on his best friend's face.

"That's great, man. Really awesome!" He shook Emmett's hand and pulled him into a manly one-armed hug.

"Thanks. She's superstitious though and doesn't want to tell anyone just yet since we just found out. But, dude, I had to tell you, you know? Plus I'm just so fucking excited." He laughed, flipping his cell phone open as it trilled. "Damn. It's the first sergeant. I'll see you later."

Edward watched him walk away before taking one last puff of his cigarette and then grinding it out under the heel of his boot.

Emmett's news made him strangely melancholy. He was happy for him and Rosalie, of course. They'd waited for so long after all, but somehow he couldn't shake the wistfulness.

He realized that he and Bella had made no promises to each other yet. They still had not even discussed whether they both wanted children or not; Edward just assumed that she did. Of course, he also knew what happened when people started assuming.

Pulling out his lighter and flicking the flame on and off, Edward let his mind drift. He wondered what Bella would say if he asked her to marry him. He pictured her on a beach, barefoot, the wind whipping her white dress around her knees. She was smiling with a white flower in her hair.

His hand was shaking as he lit another cigarette.

Before Bella, the idea of weddings and marriage and everything that came with those things made his blood run cold. He'd always figured himself for a loner, finishing his career in the Army as a crusty old sergeant major, striking fear into the hearts of rambunctious children that dared walk on his lawn.

But now….well, now he saw visions of Bella in white dresses, nurseries awash in pink and white, and t-ball games on Saturday afternoons.

He wasn't scared anymore. Edward wanted those things. Wanted them very badly.

It was time to have a serious conversation with Bella.

o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o – o -

Bella rushed through her apartment, grabbing clothes out of laundry baskets and drawers before stuffing them into a duffel bag. She couldn't believe that she had put off packing until the last minute. She knew that Edward would be off work any minute and headed her way, expecting her to be ready when he got there.

It was the last weekend before Edward's departure and they were headed to the mountains for a long weekend. As a Christmas gift, Carlisle and Esme gifted them a weekend away, renting a tiny one-bedroom cabin in a remote area.

Edward's key turned in the front door lock just as Bella tugged her boot on and zipped up her bag. She turned and smiled as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close for a kiss.

"Mmmmmm. Hello," she whispered, hooking her thumbs on the waistband of his uniform pants.

Edward kissed her again, trying to keep his desperation from seeping into the kiss. Finally he pulled away, but buried his face in her neck.

"Are you ready to go?"

"I am. Don't you want to change first?"

He inhaled deeply, then pulled away grinning. "Give me ten minutes."

True to his word, they were on their way ten minutes later, stopping at a fast food place to get something to eat. Edward drove, keeping his hand wrapped around Bella's on the console between them. He let her nap, knowing that she still wasn't sleeping well from the anxiety.

Two hours into the trip, they finally exited the interstate and began following narrow, winding roads. Edward struggled against the ice that was compacted under the snow on the asphalt.

Following the directions on the cabin brochure, Edward turned down a gravel road where the headlights barely cut through the gloom. He stopped by a mailbox and looked up at an almost vertical driveway. Bella leaned over and peered out his window.

"How exactly are we supposed to get the car up there?" she asked, shaking her head.

"Either the snow chains work or we leave the car down here and hike up."

It took some maneuvering by both of them, but they finally got the snow chains on the tires and worked their way up the driveway.

After unloading their bags and groceries, Edward and Bella collapsed on the couch without bothering to remove their coats. She burrowed her cold nose into his sweater.

"We really should get up and make something to eat," Bella said as she yawned. Edward murmured something unintelligible, but neither one of them made any attempt at moving.

- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o – o -

Edward woke several hours later to complete darkness. Pain shot through his back as he attempted to sit up and he groaned. His mind registered how cold it was in the cabin even as Bella shivered next to him. He scooted out from under her and fumbled around until he found the switch on the lamp.

Groaning under his breath, Edward grabbed the throw from the back of the couch and wrapped it securely around Bella, trying not to jostle her awake. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself and stumbled to the bedroom. He turned the space heater on and then closed the door, hoping the small heater would heat the room while he tried to figure out why the heat wasn't turning on.

Edward found the thermostat, but no amount of playing with the knob or hitting the box would make it turn on. Knowing it was futile to try calling the rental agency that late at night, he made his way back to the couch. He scooped Bella up and carried her to the bedroom.

She blinked blearily at him as he sat her on the side of the bed.

"It's fucking freezing in here!" she complained, digging through her bag for a sweatshirt and pajama pants. Edward grimaced.

"I know. I couldn't get the heat working. But I found some extra blankets and we've got the space heater. As long as we leave the door shut and huddle for body heat, we should be fine."

Groaning, Bella burrowed under the blanket until just the tips of her hair were showing. Edward couldn't help but grin as he slid in next to her. Wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close, he curled up behind her and drifted off.

- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o – o -

Bella woke the next morning toasty warm with Edward still wrapped around her. Sometime during the night, they'd both slipped out of their pajama pants and sweatshirts, preferring to be skin to skin once the small room heated to a comfortable temperature with the space heater.

His hips moved against hers under the stack of blankets they'd piled on the bed and his mouth pressed open-mouth kisses against the skin of her shoulder.

Goosebumps broke out along her spine and she turned to face him, meeting his lips with her own. He sighed contentedly against her, pulling her body closer. Hitching Bella's leg up over his hip, he pressed into her immediately. Bella gasped and Edward paused.

"Did I hurt you, love?"

Bella answered him by kissing him again, running her hands across his strong shoulders. She rolled her hips against his, taking him deeper and causing them both to moan in the early morning stillness.

They moved quietly, loving without words until the flame flashed through them and the fires banked.

Edward rested with his head on Bella's stomach as her fingers scraped lightly over his scalp. He listened in the quiet as her heartbeat calmed and her breath returned back to normal.

"Bella, have you ever played the Name Game?"

Her fingers stilled momentarily and then resumed their motion. She hummed noncommittally. He shifted to look up at her, his chin resting against her.

"When Alice was young, probably 12 or 13, she used to pair her name with that of her crush. And then write it all over her school folders and journals." He grinned and traced his fingers along her ribs, causing her to squirm under him. "So I want to know, have you ever done that?"

Bella blushed, thinking back to the first time she met Edward, the way she fell asleep whispering her name linked to his.

"I don't remember, Edward. I'm sure I did. This is so random! What brought this up?"

He moved beside her and lay back, staring up at the ceiling. Capturing her left hand in his, Edward absentmindedly traced her fingers with his. Bella rested her head on his shoulder and waited for him to work through his thoughts.

Finally he blurted out, "Rosalie's pregnant." Bella sat up and crossed her legs underneath her so that she could look at him, but Edward avoided her gaze.

"That's a good thing, right?" Her voice wavered a bit.

"Of course! It's just…" He paused again, considering his words. "It's a great thing, but it's brought up some…thoughts for me." He continued to watch his fingers skimming along Bella's skin.

"Like what?"

"Like if you would consider marrying me some day." Edward's gaze flew to Bella's and the words began to pour out of him. "I mean, I'm not proposing right now. I know we haven't been together long enough, but you know I love you. And I just want it to be in there somewhere that it's something that I want, you know? And maybe someday, a few kids running around. I mean, we've never talked about kids, but I would really like to have a couple. Or one. Or five. Whatever you want."

Finally Bella clapped her free hand over his mouth. Smiling she leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"Edward. I want all of those things and I want them with you. When we're both ready," she whispered, her heart stuttering in her chest at the fact that he was already considering marriage and kids.

He tugged her hand until she rested against his chest. Still smiling, Bella lazily trailed her fingertips over him.

"There is something else I need to talk to you about," Edward sighed. Bella hummed quietly, but didn't say anything. He continued.

"I don't have time to change my will before I leave, but –"

Bella jumped up from the bed.

"I don't want to talk about this," she ground out, bending down to grab her pajama pants and sweatshirt. Edward sat up.

"Come on, sweetheart, we have to discuss these kinds of things before I leave."

"No."

She flung the door open and marched out through the freezing living room and into the kitchen. She began to bang the cabinet doors open and shut, searching for the coffee filters for the machine.

Edward walked in to the kitchen just as she measured the water into the pot and flipped the switch to start it percolating. She began to wipe down the already clean counters, avoiding his eyes.

"Bella, I don't have time to change my will, but I've made my wishes clear to my parents that you're to be included if something happens to me. They've promised."

She went absolutely still and Edward pressed on.

"I've also drawn up a Power of Attorney for you so you can make decisions on my behalf while I'm gone."

Bella whirled around, her face ashen and her eyes wide.

"Edward, I don't want a Power of Attorney or whatever. Please don't put that on me."

He stepped across the kitchen and laid his hands on her shoulders. He rested his forehead against hers momentarily before pulling back so that he could look her in the eye.

"Relax, sweetheart. There is no pressure. I just want you to have it in case something comes up. I'm not expecting there to be anything you have to deal with; it's just in case. Okay?"

She bit her lip to keep it from trembling.

"I..I just can't imagine something happening to you." A tear slid unchecked down her cheek. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned against him. "You have to come back to me. I can't stand the thought of not…."

Bella broke off and Edward tangled his fingers in her hair. Tugging lightly until she looked up at him, he kissed her.

"I'm going to be okay. I promise I'm coming back. I love you and the minions of hell themselves couldn't keep me away from you."

He kissed her again as her breath stuttered out of her. Before either of them could deepen it, someone knocked at the door.

Cursing softly, Edward released her and turned to answer it. Bella shivered and then quickly wiped away the wet tracks that her tears left on her cheeks.

Edward returned just as she finished fixing their coffee.

"That was the rental company maintenance guy. He got the heat fixed so I went ahead and turned it back on. Hopefully we won't freeze when we get out of the shower."

He took a sip of his coffee and moaned appreciatively. He wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulders and pulled her close.

"How about I take you to breakfast and then we go sightsee? I have somewhere special I want to take you." He smiled down at her and Bella's breath caught in her lungs.

_Remember this_, she told herself. _Remember the scent of coffee on his breath and the excitement in his voice and the way he's smiling so beautifully down at you. This can get you through._

Willing the tears back, she grinned back at him. "I would love some breakfast."

- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o - o- o – o – o – o – o -

They gorged themselves on the unhealthiest breakfast they could think of, chocolate chip pancakes with maple syrup and lots of butter, scrambled eggs, sausage and copious amounts of coffee.

Edward followed docilely behind Bella as she ducked in and out of shops in the small, quaint village. She exclaimed excitedly over the handcrafted goods and homemade canned jellies and sauces.

They made love in front of the fireplace that night and woke up early the next morning. Bella navigated their way to a resort at the top of the mountain, which housed winter sports; during the mild years the resort used machines to produce snow.

Edward laughed endlessly as Bella shrieked her way down a hillside on an inner tube. But she got her revenge when he yelled himself hoarse on his own trips down. She took advantage of the snow to pack a very wet snowball and threw it at him. It smacked into the back of his head and slid wetly under the collar of his coat and into his shirt. Edward glared at her while she giggled, until finally the corner of his mouth twitched and he ended up laughing along with her.

He bought her a funnel cake at the snack bar and then ate the majority of it. They rode the air tram back down the mountainside and returned to the cabin. After a short rest, a change of clothes, and a small disagreement on where to eat, they headed back out to dinner.

Edward won their disagreement and they ended up at a rustically elegant restaurant, decorated like a lodge, but with white tablecloths and linen napkins. He tried desperately to commit to memory the way her eyes glowed in the candlelight and the way her cheeks flushed after her second glass of wine.

They both slept deeply and woke refreshed, but dreading their drive back.

Their last two days together, Bella skipped her classes so that she could be home when Edward was there. In turn, he finished every work task as quickly as he could and skipped out on time with his friends so that he could be with Bella as much as possible.

The night before he left was spent quietly. They ordered a pizza, which went uneaten, and watched a movie on Bella's laptop. He touched her constantly, stroking her hair or nuzzling the soft spot at her temple, drinking in the scent of her.

He held her carefully as she cried and then, once she was asleep, watched her dream. Edward suddenly found it difficult to swallow around the now constant lump in his throat.

Before either of them was ready, dawn began to break through the window. Edward rubbed his eyes, ignoring the sandy feeling of staying up all night, and kissed Bella awake.

They made love again, soft and slow, and they both wept when it was over.

Reluctantly Bella got up to shower and Edward checked his bags again.

It was time to say goodbye.

- o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o – o - o

**A/N Gah, my heart just breaks for these two. I hope you'll hang in there with me for their journey though.**

**You guys have to be the most patient readers out there. I never meant to go so long between updates. There was writer's block, my husband's grandfather died, my grandfather died, my husband came home (YAY!), etc, etc. Essentially, life happened and I got caught up in it with little time to write. **

**The good news is that I'm almost 2/3 of the way through the next chapter. I'll be out of the country for vacation next week, but the plan is to get it to my beta before I leave so that I can post when I get back. So hopefully there will be just two weeks until the next update. **

Also, "Always Fighting From the Heart" has been featured & reviewed over at TwiFic Promotions. You can find their site here { http:/twi-ficpromotions (dot) blogspot (dot )com/?zx=30be8c81d701ca8d } and it's about the sixth review down. There's also a spot for comments. =)

Don't forget that you can follow me on Twitter: PangeforPrez (without the space)

Wanna yell at me for taking so long to update? Or cry with Bella about Edward leaving? Leave me a review and let me know what you're thinking.

Thus ends this epically long author's note. Until next time, my lovelies. {hugs}


	22. Chapter 21

**After a massive wait – the next chapter. Anybody still out there? **

**Thanks to Mycrookedsmile for cleaning up behind me and for her Twitter support when I was having a bad day.**

**Thanks to ZephyerSky for pre-reading so many weeks ago. I adore you, bb. **

**As usual, I don't own. Nor do I make any money from this little endeavor.**

**One quick note. A couple of terms that will make this chapter easier to understand: **

**FRG = Family Readiness Group, basically a group that provides support and information to family members of Active Duty soldiers, especially important during a deployment **

**MWR = Morale Welfare & Recreation, agency that provides creature comforts for soldiers & their families, in combat zones they often provide spaces with computers with internet, phones for community use, etc**

**We're now caught up to the Prologue, which takes place after the last chapter and before this one. **

From Chapter 20:

_Before either of them was ready, dawn began to break through the window. Edward rubbed his eyes, ignoring the sandy feeling of staying up all night, and kissed Bella awake._

_They made love again, soft and slow, and they both wept when it was over._

_Reluctantly Bella got up to shower and Edward checked his bags again._

_It was time to say goodbye._

Chapter 21

To: Edward Cullen

From: Bella Swan

Subject: Are you there yet?

Edward,

You've not even been gone a full day and I miss you so much I ache. I have no idea when you'll get this, but I couldn't stand the thought of you checking your email and not having one from me waiting for you.

I love you forever plus one day.

Bella

o - o - o - o - o - o

To: Bella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: RE: Are you there yet?

My sweet girl,

I'm in the USO lounge at the airport in Bangor. I've only got a couple of minutes since there are so many of us wanting to check email one last time. I wanted you to know again how much I love you and miss you already.

I don't know what my internet access will be like when we arrive in country. For now, it would probably be better to do the snail mail thing. I promise I'll call as soon as I can.

I love you to the moon and back.

Edward

o - o - o - o - o - o

Dear Edward,

One night down, approximately three hundred and sixty-five to go.

Alice has been kind enough to let me mope for the last day and a half, but I don't think her patience is going to hold out much longer. She's left me one message this morning and I think I'm going to have to call her back unless I want her to subject me to some kind of harsh punishment. Like going to a paint-your-own pottery place or something.

I miss you so incredibly much. I've never known my apartment to feel this quiet and empty. Even the neighbors have been quieter than usual. Part of me wonders, if I never leave this room, will the world somehow pause in its rotation until you come home? It is incomprehensible to me that the people around me continue with their lives as if nothing has changed. I cannot believe that I am expected to continue with my life as if there has not been a huge hole blown through the middle of it.

For a brief moment, I considered completely ripping this letter up and starting a new one where I use my words to paint bright pictures of sunshine and rainbows for you. But I don't think you want that, do you? I don't think it would be right to try to keep reality from you. Honesty before all else, right?

Please, please stay safe. Watch your six. (See? I did learn something from those military movies you always make me watch!)

I love you forever plus one day.

Bella

o - o - o - o - o - o

Dear Edward,

One week since you've left and I've heard nothing from you. Not one email or thirty-second phone call. Kelly, my point of contact from the FRG, assures me that everyone, including you, arrived there safely. But it would put my mind at ease if I heard it from you.

Classes are going okay. I find myself distracted a lot, wondering where you are. You know that I have another class with Alice this semester, right? She and Jasper have been amazing, making sure that I don't mope around too much or get too morose.

I couldn't stand the silence in the apartment anymore, so I went to a secondhand store and bought a small television. The reception is terrible and I refuse to pay for cable, but I usually leave it turned on low just to have some kind of background noise. For some reason, I find it very comforting; even when I can't see the characters through all of the fuzz.

There is still a part of me that doesn't believe that you'll come home to me.

I guess I should put this away for now and actually go do some homework. I have to meet my study group at the library later too.

Stay safe. Don't forget your six. I miss you.

I love you forever plus one day.

Bella

o - o - o - o - o - o

Dear Edward,

Really? You really couldn't find a piece of paper or a phone or a computer with a working internet connection in the two weeks since you left? You know, you're not really helping to assuage my fear of abandonment.

Rosalie calls me every single day. It seems that she hasn't heard from Emmett either. The first words out of her mouth are always "Did you hear from him today?" When I respond that I haven't, she sighs and says, "Me either." With that ritual out of the way, we have long conversations about everything from politics to religion to pizza. And, of course, there is much conversation about the baby.

I went to my first FRG meeting with Rosalie and Alice a couple of days ago. I finally got to meet Kelly, whom I've talked to on the phone and gotten email from several times. She seems very nice, if a little bland. She tried to explain the difference between a platoon, a company, and a battalion, but it made no sense to me and I'm pretty sure my eyes glazed over halfway through. Of course, there wasn't much actual information given out. I think it was more of a social event than anything. Apparently the FRG has a lot of social events during a deployment. I don't know how involved I'm going to be. Some of those women frighten me.

I found one of your shirts buried in my laundry basket. I've taken to wearing it to bed, even though I know that soon it will smell like me instead of you. It helps me sleep when I feel like I've got part of you wrapped around me.

Once again, stay safe.

I love you forever plus one day.

Bella

o - o - o - o - o - o

Bella laid her pen down on the table and carefully folded the letter. She slid it into the waiting envelope that she'd already addressed in her neatest handwriting. After sealing it closed, she set it aside and then let her head fall forward until her forehead thumped against the hard surface.

Her nerves were extremely frayed after two weeks of no communication from Edward. It always surprised her when she would lash out in anger or burst into tears with the slightest provocation. Even Alice took care to tiptoe around her in case Bella's wrath became aimed at her.

She worried slightly about the level of honesty she was displaying in her letters so far. Some of the wives at the FRG meeting the previous week had been very vocal about keeping things from their soldiers. They threw around words like morale and insisted that the war fighter wouldn't be able to concentrate if he thought his spouse couldn't cope back home. But Bella truly believed that her relationship with Edward would be stronger if they were honest about what they were experiencing emotionally.

The truth was that, even as uncensored as she'd been, she still held some back. She didn't tell Edward about the nights that she cried herself to sleep. Or on the flip side, the nights when she didn't sleep at all because she was obsessively searching the internet for news from his side of the world. She chose not to mention that there were days when she completely forgot to eat and she didn't report about the day she was so distracted that she ended up lost on campus and missed her noon class.

Bella trusted that these things would resolve in time. She would get accustomed to Edward being gone. She believed that soon he would be back in regular contact with her. She was counting on the fact that the days would begin to pass faster and life would resume its normal speed.

Tilting her head slightly to glance at the clock, Bella groaned and then sat up. She twisted her hair into a knot at the base of her neck before slipping Edward's letter into her bag. Shifting things around, she pulled her history book out and flipped through until she found the chapter she was supposed to be reading.

Resolving to put thoughts of Edward aside for a while, she settled in to read.

o - o - o - o - o - o

To: Bella Swan

From: Edward Cullen

Subject: I haven't forgotten

My sweet girl,

Sorry for not having written or called. There's at least a 2 hour wait every day for the computers in the MWR tent and longer than that for the phones. I've made friends with a commo guy though, so hopefully he can sneak me in to use one of the official phones in the next couple of days.

Don't feel like you have to be a part of the FRG if you don't want to. Some of those groups are legendary for their troublemaking.

I am glad that you've been hanging out with Rose and Alice. Tell Rose that Em's fine and will call or email as soon as he can. He's much busier than I am since he's the team leader, but he's doing well.

If it helps, the progression goes like this. Starting with the largest: Corps Division Brigade Battalion Company Platoon Team

I am coming home to you. I will tell you over and over again until you believe it.

I love you to the moon and back.

Edward

o - o - o - o - o - o

Bella slowly trudged along the long path to the campus library. She was already ten minutes late to meet her study group, but couldn't find the motivation to make her feet move faster. The grass on either side of the walkway was peppered with students soaking up the warmth of the unexpected sunny day.

Just as she reached for the door, her phone vibrated in her back pocket. She stepped back to let the students behind her enter and slid the phone out, realizing as she checked the display that she didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" Bella took a few more steps away from the door, using her finger to plug her other ear so that she could hear better. "Hello?"

For a few moments there was nothing but static on the line. Then, just as Bella was ready to hang up in frustration, she heard Edward's voice.

"Bella? Bella, don't hang up; I think there's a satellite delay. Are you there?"

Her knees sagged and tears welled up in her eyes. It had been three weeks since the last time she'd heard his voice and the relief threatened to overwhelm her.

"Edward! Hi! How are you?"

He laughed. "I'm fine, sweetheart. We're at risk of losing our connection, but I wanted you to know I miss you and I love you and I'm safe."

Bella sighed, unable to stop the grin from spreading over her face. For just a moment, everything felt normal again.

"I love you too, Edward! I miss you so much! How are things going? Are they keeping you very busy?"

"Yeah, we've been very busy, out on…" Static cut into the line for several seconds. Bella checked the display to make sure the call hadn't dropped. Finally the static cleared and Edward's voice rang through again. "…but I'm fine. We're all safe and missing home. How are you? How are your classes going?"

"They're fine. I'm fine. I just miss you! I'm actually going in now to meet my study group. I can't wait until this semester is over." She laughed.

"That's great, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. I was wondering –"

The phone squealed in Bella's ear and she jerked it away before it caused permanent hearing damage.

"Hello? Edward, are you still there?"

Bella checked the phone display again, swallowing against the disappointment when she realized that the call had dropped.

"Come on, Edward. Call me back," she muttered. Tears slid down her cheeks as she continued to watch her phone. "Please, baby, please call me back."

Glancing up, Bella noticed that she was beginning to attract the attention of her fellow students. She moved around the corner of the building for a little privacy. Leaning her head back against the wall of the building, she gave in to her tears for a few minutes.

Finally, she straightened up and swiped her hands across her cheeks to dry them. She pulled a mirror out of her bag and checked her makeup. Realizing she could do nothing about the fact that her eyes were red and puffy, she put the mirror and her phone away and went inside to meet her group.

Bella jogged up the library steps and down the hall to the study room where her group was meeting. Attempting to slip in unnoticed, she cracked the door open and tried to slide through. Unfortunately the strap on her bag caught the door handle and jerked her back against the door, causing it to slam behind her.

Every member of her group turned to stare. Bella's cheeks burned as she unwound her strap from the door and slid into a vacant seat beside her friend, Lucas. The group leader, Eliza, glared at her briefly before continuing with what she was saying.

Lucas leaned towards Bella. "You okay?"

His breath tickled over her ear and Bella shivered. She sent him a quick smile and shook her head.

"Edward."

Lucas smiled brilliantly and reached over to squeeze her hand, understanding immediately since the two had often talked about Edward over coffee after class.

They turned their attention back to Eliza who was expanding on each person's role in their project. Bella kept one hand on her phone so she wouldn't miss it if it vibrated again, but Edward didn't call back.

o - o - o - o - o - o

**A/N **

**I'm just going to stop promising the next update because I never seem to be able to get it out on time anymore. You guys have been so awesome about reviewing and I'm so, so appreciative of every single one. **

**Just know that I'm not giving up on this story. My RL has been particularly shitty lately, topped with massive writer's block. But I'm trying. I promise.**

**Don't forget you can follow me on Twitter. You can also yell at me there if I take a long time to update: PangeforPrez **

**Love you all. {{{hugs}}}**


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